Following Columba

Matthew under the arm 142

2009-02-15T09:41:00.007Z

Well, I was about to write that this is the end of the pilgrimage. However, any pilgrimage I have been on, including being Bishop of this Diocese, has never actually come to an end. I have just announced my retirement as Bishop of Argyll and The Isles. One person sent me an email to tell me that I was too young to retire. Of course, he's write, if I mean by to retire...full-stop! There are other ways I feel pushed and urged to serve as a priest, which, of course, I remain. Another person said to me, with a wry smile on his face, that I would be 'making for the trees'! Although that made me laugh, I came away with a disturbing question: 'Am I running away?' In a real sense, I might well be running away if I ignored the movement within me that senses that I have other tasks to address.
So, the pilgrimage with Columba is not coming to an end. Certainly the final verses of Matthew's Gospel have now been reached, but Columba and his companion (probably me!) will separate and pick up the threads of other vocations. Several who have followed this blog (if that is what it is!) have asked me to reveal the mystery of the destination of this pilgrimage.... Mmmm.
I realise that very few have followed this blog. Living in this Diocese of Argyll and The Isles, I have become accustomed to small numbers. Not that I am suggesting I am comfortable let alone complacent about that. From any reading of history or biography that I have done, there have always been crossroads that have been critical in cultural and individual development. Few have been around to witness them, let alone understand them. In this tiny and holy 'precinct' of the Holy and Catholic Church; this majestic and largely untamed region called once by Percy Grainger: 'the Penumbra of Europe', those of us who are dominated and inspired by its unintelligibility, can never claim to have reached a destination or rounded-off some experience. No job is ever done here. St John's Cathedral Oban, is a powerful emblem of precisely that. A complete Cathedral has a disturbing finality to it that closes of, no matter the size, possibility. Our architecture tells our story of incompleteness, a beautiful statement of the fact that we are as Theodore Roszak wrote: 'Unfinished Animals'.
Should this blog continue then? Well, if you have been following it at all, you may have some suggestions. But as a provisional 'walking stick' on this particular pilgrimage, it is bet perhaps that thank God for the opportunity and move on....

So here we are. I dare say this to Columba, as I have learnt that he sees 'conclusions' as the ignoring of dreams, the stunting of growth, the desire to capture for blandishment. 'Place the palms of your hands against this wall', he whispered mystifyingly. 'Why?' I asked with that rather pathetic feeling inside me that this was a pointless question. 'Remain there for a while and when you withdraw your hands you will open your hands with the gift of God's incomprehensible love which radiates even from stone.' Those were the last words I ever heard from Columba. But even that s not true. Throughout our time together I had kept notes of his comments and at least some of his activities, which I have shared with you. They resonate on, at least I hope so. So I placed my hands again on the wall and felt the cold sandy texture almost caressing my palms. And where are we as we touch the shrine of our pilgrimage? Back where we had begun, but strangely higher as if on a spiral. I turned after a while with my hands outstretched. I was alone.

Matthew 28.16-20
'Setting out for Galilee'. This is a vitally important indicator. For the disciples make their way to the point which they first encountered Christ. So the memory of the story of their discipleship is key. The experience of the raising of Christ that they had at the place of encounter, was an opening, or using a more traditional word, revelation. So the significance of the Raising dawns on them in the place of recollection. The experience of following, of friendship, of betrayal, of rejection, of anxiety, of agony and painful death was the circle on which they had made their pilgrimage.On returning, they did not come back to the exact spot, for that is the journey of nostalgia a best and self-indulgence at worst. Somehow the word 'authority' wakens them to realise that they have come round to their initiation but they are lifted themselves, caught up in the slip stream of the Raising.

MY LOVE OF YOU GATHERS YOU TO THE PLACE OF ENCOUNTER THAT YOU MAY MOVE OUT IN THAT LOVE TO OTHERS.

Find a rock tat you can hold, that is no too heavy but substantial enough that you can feel its significant weight ad size. The age of the rock will be for the human imagination, immeasurable. It is safe to use the word 'timeless'. You had to lift it from somewhere in order to hold it. This was a raising. It is also a return to Galilee. Here is an experience of your beginning! The very stuff o he earth from which you cm an to which you have now returned. However, you have not entirely returned but have moved 'upwards' slightly. So,as you hold the rock, remember you first experience o God, no matter ho trivial and particular it was. Relive it. Tell the story of the encounter. Now replace the rock and lay you hands open as your commitment to allow the gift of your encounter t be passed on. 'I am with you to the end of time'.

A blessing from the Island of Iona

"Be the great Go between your two shoulders
To protect you in your going out and your coming in.
Be the Son of Mary ever near your heart,
And be the perfect Spirit upon you pouring.
Oh, the perfect Spirit upon you pouring. "

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 141

2009-01-29T21:10:00.001Z

“This is the last stage”. Columba pointed towards the city that lay on the side of the great hill many miles ahead of us. I certainly did not want this pilgrimage to end. “When we arrive, will we see each other again? I have this feeling, Columba, that you will want to separate.” Columba stopped with a sorrowful look on his face. “What, my good and trusty friend, will you remember most of this pilgrimage?” I laughed. After all, what I would not remember? “Every single situation we have been in from the unremarkable to the extraordinary, you have summoned me to reflect on the presence of God in it all”. “Continue that and you will never be separated from me. Like that other story of separation, however, you will not hold on to me…”

Matthew 27.11-15

There is a strong temptation just to let this passage be! The last phrase is: ‘…the story among the Jews’. Reference to the Jews in the Gospels has been approached by New Testament theologians in many ways. However, in the context of increased racial sensitivity and the constant awareness of anti-Semitism, this passage leaves the reader feeling at least uncomfortable. On the other hand, the inclination for those in power in any regime or institution not to have their less than just activities exposed is strong. Church history is charged with such stories of duplicity, intrigue, fear and evasion. The story also serves the purpose of underlying the significance of the fact of the empty tomb. That fact from then on, indeed, would be a constant challenge to all posturing of power, particularly religious and ecclesiastical ones.

THAT YOUR RAISING MAY INSTIL COURAGE IN ME TO BE SET FREE AND BE MADE WHOLE.

Even with yourself, it may be difficult to admit that you have been involved in the undermining of someone in your lives – someone of whom you may have felt jealous. For must of us, however, there is that blushing remembrance of our collusion in someone else’s hurt or belittlement. Even if you have been spared such an experience, you can certainly imagine it. Imagine a scene of hiding and fear in which you have sought to deny someone else’s humanity in any way. Now imagine yourself wanting to find a way of denying Christ’s rising.
+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 140

2009-01-15T20:25:00.001Z

“It is important to arrive at the completion of this pilgrimage by night”, Columba said quietly as we climbed up the last of the steep valleys, at least of this pilgrimage. “Why, by night?” “Because I want to ensure that as you and I prepare to part, we greet the dawn together with that stillness which we have learnt on the way; that moment in the early part of the day, when the heart is most ready to receive the mystery of Christ”. I then remembered that we started in the dark, so that as were into our stride, the dawn appeared to welcome us on the pilgrimage. It is as if the hope of the dawn – the Resurrection – is written into the cycle of the Universe itself.

Matthew 28.9-10

Here we have a simple list of demands: ‘Do not be afraid….go….tell…’ Jesus does not say, ‘Now, let’s talk about your fear’. Nor does he say, ‘Now look. You ought not to be afraid.’ He makes a straight demand, as if he expects it, without reserve or hesitation, to be followed. Jesus ‘suddenly’ comes to meet the women. So why shouldn’t fear cease ‘suddenly’? The brothers ‘must leave for Galilee.’ No ‘please’ or ‘perhaps’, but another demand. Galilee is where the brothers were first formed as disciples. So going back to Galilee is to return to their first significant encounter with Jesus. That return would open up for them an avenue of grace again to perceive the mystery of the Resurrection.

I WOULD RETURN TO THE FIRST HINT OF YOUR PRESENCE WITHIN ME AND WAIT ON YOUR RISING WITHIN ME.

As has been the case throughout this pilgrimage, memory is of vital importance. If Galilee would stimulate the memory of the disciples as to their first experience of Jesus, where would your ‘Galilee’ be? Where would be the experience…the first hint of Christ in the detail of your personal life? Do not overlook anything no mater how trivial it may seem. Remember that Christ gathers up the fragments that nothing be lost. Even a crumb of burnt toast in your memory might unloosen a whole array of delight or perhaps apprehension about your experience. One useful [and enjoyable] wayof enabling the exercise to be given the time that is needed for it, is to go for a long walk by yourself, if you are able. Take a little notepad. Don’t be afraid to talk to Christ. Return to your ‘Galilee’.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 139

2009-01-12T21:12:00.001Z

We hadn’t eaten for two days. When we found a friendly inn, we sat by the fire and after a huge plate of broth, fell fast asleep. We woke early in the morning just before dawn. Columba looked pale. I asked him about his first experience of Christ. ‘It was early one morning, when my mother woke me as she always did with the words: ‘Christ has risen’, to which I was expected to respond, ‘He is risen indeed’. At Easter when we could shout ‘Alleluia!’ as well. But this particular morning I asked my mother where I could find this Risen Christ. She replied: ‘He is going ahead of you.’ So my experience, dear pilgrim friend, is that Christ is always just ahead of me.” “Just out of sight?” I added…. Columba remained silent and smiled.

Matthew 28.1-8
The actual raising by God of Jesus is not described in this passage. It is significant that we are left with the facticity of the empty tomb and bewildering words: ‘He is not here.’ I am silenced, but not as a withdrawal from those who would challenge and indeed dismiss the resurrection. This silence is recognition that I must have the humility to be challenged and to think about the faith that is based on the witness of those who experienced the Risen Christ. There is a human lust for certainty and to have things spelt out. When they are, of course, there is the dissatisfaction. This story creates breathless expectation not certainty, like a child constantly delighted with what may lie round the next corner. ‘Now He is going ahead of you’.

BE SILENT AND PONDER MY PRESENCE WHICH ENLIVENS, RAISES YOU; GOES AHEAD OF YOU TO GUIDE YOU

Recall a time when you have been deeply afraid. Who is involved in this memory? Where are you? What is the cause of the anxiety? Be as observant as you can. Blame no one in this exercise, least of all yourself. For many, the most troublesome experience of anxiety is when there is rejection. Now read this passage from Matthew carefully and maybe several times. Stop whenever a phrase or a word captivates you. Notice the tomb. Allow your imagination to picture every detail, every feeling associated with that detail. Listen to the words of the angel to the women.Allow your imagination to be free. Where would you go now? What is your first reaction? Note down as much of your experience of this exercise as you can recall. He is going before you!

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 138

2009-01-05T19:46:00.001Z

[Perhaps it seems strange to be writing about Matthew’s account of The Passion, The Tomb and indeed about The Resurrection at this time of year. However, I remind myself that the mystery of Christ’s birth is really only perceived through the prism of the Crucifixion and the Resurrection. What is more, there is a strange and painful irony in that the Passion narrative is a matter for meditation during the appalling scenes of suffering, death (including children), hunger, fear and the creation of refugees within the small piece – Gaza…]

I had wanted Columba and I to by-pass what we were informed to be troubled territory, but Columba reminded me that a pilgrim must be faithful to where the path leads, including into the ‘heart of darkness’. Early one morning, a crowd passed our host’s house. Columba and I quickly moved among them to discover why they were looking so disturbed. They were holding aloft a painting of a young person who had spoken out against local leadership and had, as a result, been murdered. ‘What was the young person’s greatest quality?’ Columba asked. ‘Gentle integrity’, was the answer. “That’s a painting”, responded Columba, “that is carried aloft when you live gentle integrity yourselves.”

Matthew 27:62-66
One of the ways of undermining the humanity of those who are a threat, even when they’re dead, is not to name them, but to label them. A name brings intimacy. A label distances. The Christian Churches tragically find it all too easy to label rather than to name. Labelling someone is an attempt to ensure that we are protected from what seems alien. This is, of course, in total contrast to the Christian dynamic which is to love the alien. So Jesus, in the tomb is labelled as an ‘imposter’- a sham. What is more, a ‘leader of the people’ is perhaps more powerful when dead than when alive. For example, Che Guevara has now legendary status, after his death, as a guerrilla, someone who fought in South America for the oppressed. So sealing Jesus’ tomb was perhaps a futile attempt to erase Jesus memory, let alone undermine any story of resurrection.

I WOULD KNOW INTIMATELY THE LIFE OF CHRIST WITHIN ME, IN MY MEMORY, MY PRAYING AND MY LIVING.

One of the tragedies of modern conflict, particularly when it includes genocide, is not just the destruction of a people, but erasing as much evidence of the history as possible of that people: ‘shredding the papers’ of it’s story. The numbing fear of nuclear holocaust is not simply about millions of deaths and the turning of the earth to glass, but the erasure of any memory of humanity: the sealing of our tomb. That is why this passage is perhaps the most chilling of all in the New Testament. The sealing of the tomb is the final destructive act as it suffocates hope. What history of your life do you regard as essential and would be lost behind ‘the sealed tomb’? What would you do in order to keep the memory alive, so that what may seem lost at your death may be ‘raised’? Use the sentence to enter the exercise prayerfully.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 137

2008-12-08T14:19:00.000Z

A wealthy pilgrim joined us for two days. A delicate looking man, he wore fine clothes, too fine for a long pilgrimage. Some distance back, he had heard Columba give a talk in a barn on the Christian life about the important dynamics in being a Christian: to pray and to love in action. He wanted to know more. Our new companion, took us into an inn and bought us a hearty supper. All those in the inn recognised him as a wealthy man. An old man approached him and started to insult him for his wealth and the lack of wear and tear on his face and hands. Columba turned to the old man and growled. [Beware of Columba’s growl!] “Your skin is hard and cracked from hard work and hard weather, but so is your heart and your mind. This man has opened his heart to the risk of God.”

Matthew 27.57-61
A burial place, particularly wealthy and powerful Jews, would not only be in keeping with their life-style but also be a place of ‘permanence’, where they could be remembered. In that sense, the memory of the dead person would live on in others. So it was a considerable sacrifice for Joseph of Arimathaea to make his own tomb available for Christ. Legend has it that Joseph came to Britain with the Holy Grail, a unfounded connectedness that ‘Celtic’ Christianity may have had to the passage of the ‘relics’ of Jesus life through Europe. This intriguing ‘walk on’ part in the Passion narrative is perhaps a deep reassurance to most of us who feel at some distance from the centre of the story.

I WOULD HOLD ALL I AM AND HAVE BEFORE YOU IN OBEDIENCE TO YOUR LOVE.

This passage is one of the wonderful Gospel stories in which silence is so demonstrative of love, gentleness and generosity. The two Marys sitting opposite the tomb create that wonderful image of looking and listening with complete attention. In this exercise, in your own imagination, go back to a time when you were silent and were able to look and listen. What did it feel like for you? What was happening? Where in your life now do you feel you are being called to be a listener…someone who looks and gives attention? Give a little time to an occasion when you did not listen or look, when perhaps that might have been helpful. Now, in prayer, what do have which is most precious to you, that you would give out of love, out of love for Christ.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 136

2008-12-03T20:11:00.002Z

We had walked off the path, to sit for a while and look at the snow covered landscape that was now piercingly painful to look at in the bright sun. Columba’s fingers were blue with cold. His breath was laboured as he sat on a rock and tried to shield his eyes. We had left a village that morning, lucky not get beaten up. He had been invited to speak about our pilgrimage in the local church. Instead, Columba quietly chided the congregation that they were sitting there well-clothed and protected. ‘Homeless families are struggling to find warmth and you exclude them from the Church after they had been sleeping at the back overnight.’ The priest was furious. ‘You have taken advantage of my invitation to you to preach!’ Columba replied in the hearing of all as he left: ‘I haven’t started yet!’ For two days, we huddled with the families, until we were thrown out of the town for breach of the peace. God?

Matthew 27:45-56

The cry of God. Here was Jesus, God in History crying across the whole Universe, audible in every corner of it. Forsaken, Christ accompanies all those who feel abandoned by God; all those who experience His absence. In the blackest of black holes somewhere in space, the cry still echoes: ‘My God, why have you forsaken me?’ Yes, it’s a quotation from a psalm. The cry can be explained away but to no one’s satisfaction. The question ‘Why?’, is by its very nature never met with a satisfactory answer, let alone solution. God enters his own abandonment. In the middle of the terrifying earthquake and storm, at the moment of abandonment, the centurion recognises Jesus as the ‘Son of God’.

THAT IN THE PLACES OF FEAR, DESOLATION AND THE EXPERIENCE OF YOUR ABSENCE, I MAY REMAIN THERE AND WAIT ON YOU.

Simone Weil, the French philosopher and mystic starkly suggested that we cannot come to real belief in God without a real experience of atheism! Many of the great men and women of faith, seem to experience the Real Absence of God as well as the Real Presence. So allow yourself to experience in this moment of silent prayer a time when you not only did not believe in God, but felt the weight of his absence. Then feel yourself ‘cry out’ with Jesus about your sense of being abandoned. Maybe that describes where you are now! Remain with that experience. Now recall when you had an inkling of his presence. Both of the experiences are vital.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 135

2008-11-25T20:34:00.001Z

We were in a crowd of pilgrims who were making there way to some festival. There standing on a pavement was a pathetic young woman, cheeks soiled with tears. Her baby was wrapped in a filthy shawl and crying with hunger. The door of an adjacent house slammed shut. ‘Well pilgrims, eh? Well, pray for the slut!’ came a shout from a window. ‘She’s a whore and the child is the result of her whoring’. Two pilgrims as they passed her, haughtily scolded her. ‘You ought to have been on the pilgrimage with us, repenting of your slimey practices.’ Columba immediately went to her and hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. I was embarrassed. He took the child from her and urged her to join him. ‘Come with me. You are a pilgrim with us. We will find warmth for the night’. The other pilgrims? They had gone, of course.

Matthew 27.39-44
The passer-by… To pass by or to be at a safe distance can lead to the cowardice of finger pointing. Watching a drunken brawl on a city street can call forth dismissive accusations from that cold distance of righteousness. As I stand and condemn, I realise the dark confusion and violence of my own soul. When the pain is happening to someone else, so often it comes with relief for me. The jeering and laughing continues: ‘Save yourself!’ Here is an appeal that has echoed down history. A party atmosphere forms as jibe after jibe, including quotes from the Old Testament, gather pace and volume. ‘He has put his trust in God’. Death by countless sneers that probably for his crucified colleagues was at least a little distracting from their own pain.

OPEN THE EYES OF MY HEART THAT I MAY SEE WITH CLARITY YOUR LOVE IN THE DESPISED.

Before entering this exercise, use the sentence to still yourself for a few moments. Then…in your memory, go back to a time when you were jeered at; when you were powerless, belittled, humiliated at a meeting. See the people; listen to what is being said. Notice the looks on the faces. Imagine Christ there with you. Do not ‘do’ anything – just experience and watch in your prayer. Now recall the time when you have rejected and participated in negativity towards somebody. Now see Christ with that person. This exercise is not about shame or guilt. It is simply about being aware of the destructive power of group aggression. Allow Christ to be the dominant ‘centre’ of your prayer as he becomes an instrument that ;’short-circuits’ the dark energies of back-biting and jeering. Note down your feelings and reactions. Above all, do not accuse yourself, just notice….That is enough. This is your Passion!

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 134

2008-11-16T11:16:00.000Z

There’s not much further to go now. I don’t know what to expect when I arrive, nor what I shall feel like. Columba himself is exhausted. This pilgrimage for him has not just been about his own spiritual journey. ‘What is a spiritual journey?’ he once asked me. He wasn’t really expecting an answer. For him, all there is, is this moment and all that this moment is! Here is God, although, he would add, ‘You wont see him, for if you did, it wouldn’t be God.’ What then is there in this pilgrimage other than an eventful journey? And this morning I had the answer. Columba was leaning against an old tree, shielding himself from a sudden hail-storm. He was holding a piece of torn paper folded up, as if it was the most treasured possession in the world. He knew I was inquisitive. ‘There is a name in here. It’s the name of a woman whose months old baby died. She has been with me all the way, as she asked.’ Pilgrimage.

Matthew 27.32-38
There is a bewildering aspect to Christian Way, in that many seem to be ‘enlisted’ – with little or no choice. Simon of Cyrene is one such. After the brutal abuse that he suffered, Jesus was obviously beyond carrying anything, let alone a heavy cross. Maybe it was the inevitability of his death that was also weighing too much. There’s no telling what Cyrene felt or said. After all, for the Gospel narrative, obedience was of the ultimate importance. And what obedience! Jesus has his clothing removed. All of it? Completely naked on the Cross? God completely exposed and reduced to a squalid and humiliating fate. ‘This is Jesus…’ And to add to the excruciating experience, look at the company God keeps even at His death!

IN MY GIFT OF STILLNESS WITHIN YOU, I CALL YOU TO OPEN ALL OF YOURSELF TO MY LOVE

Maybe you can recall a time when you were asked to ‘carry’ someone’s load, either literally or metaphorically. Maybe someone asked you to carry their luggage, their shopping, their furniture…. Maybe someone asked you to represent them to some institution, some official… Relive an event when you felt you couldn’t really refuse. Whose weight do you feel called to carry in your local community? Have you resisted it? Now, imagine Jesus asking you to carry somebody, something, even his cross for him. Perhaps you are embarrassed at being associated with: ‘…Jesus, the King of the Jews’! Remember to review your time of prayer and imagining.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 133

2008-11-12T20:36:00.000Z

We came across a series of small houses built around a small loch, where I had imagined we could get some hot food and a wash. ‘We are about to meet someone who needs our help and support’ Columba said crossly. ‘The young man you will meet has been running from village to village hoping not to be caught. Remove your attention from your stomach and pay acute attention to what we must be and do!’ Columba had followed directions he had been given and quickly ushered me into a little stone bothy. There sat the young man shivering from fear. He had been wrongfully accused of raping a young woman in a hamlet back over the mountains. I was completely lost as to what we could do. Through the door came another young man who had been walking with us for days, also in silence. Columba obviously recognised him. ‘Go with Columba’, he said. ‘But you….They will come for…’ ‘Go’, said the young man.

Matthew 27:27-31.
Out of sight – out of mind. There would have been a sense of being in an exclusive situation – the Praetorium. No crowd here. Like all places of torture, it could be applied without censure. Here the expectation would have been to cause maximum fear and humiliation on Jesus. Those who were led to the Gas Chambers, were first stripped and left trying as best they may to cover themselves: a futile exercise. But Jesus remained in silence, fully exposed. Purple was thrown over him: the royal colour and ironically, the colour of healing. The thorns of the crown would not only cause bleeding but constant searing pain. Derision followed: which is designed to reduce and deny any respect. So here we have a bewildering collection of images: royalty, healing, physical torture, humiliation, defencelessness. His own clothes were put back on him in case the crowd grew angry with the soldiers for abusing the precious and expensive sign of purple royalty. With someone else’s phlegm dripping down his cheeks, the rest was inevitable.

I WOULD ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR LOVE WITHIN ME THAT I MAY SEE IT IN THOSE AROUND ME.

There is little necessity to imagine this appalling agony, perhaps because it is too easy to do so. What is almost impossible is to imagine Jesus’ composure. The Passion narrative is pointing us to who Jesus is. He is the Love of God in the darkest and most distant place imaginable from that love. Yes: this is the strangest of paradoxes. So, having read the passage carefully and slowly and briefly experienced it, move into silent prayer with the sentence and allow the positive regard of it to be the focus of the silence. Set a time for the silence and do not leave it until you have remained there with Jesus who remains with you, despite whatever agony we experience directly or indirectly.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 132

2008-11-11T19:55:00.003Z

The sky was clear and the air crisp with cold as we eventually reached the bottom of a range of hills above another of those hidden towns. Columba loves this weather. ‘You can see as if into eternity’. I mocked his sentimentality. We walked by a passage-way and heard a commotion. There was a woman hitting her drunken son with a stick. He was a pathetic sight. He deserved what he got. Was I enjoying his thrashing? I turned as if to leave them. Columba held me by the shoulders and turned me to face the couple. ‘Look into their faces as if you were looking into eternity. Our stillness caught the eye of the woman, who broke down in tears at the tragedy of their poverty.

Matthew 27:11-26
Jesus doesn’t even attempt to defend himself. One can sense Pilate’s and the religious leaders’ frustration. The ‘notorious prisoner, Barrabas, may have been a Robin Hood figure or a psychopathic killer on the other. Some have suggested that he might have been some liberation fighter. The admiration for him in the crowd is not that surprising. We have that strange propensity to admire such personalities. The movie industry thrives on them. Pilate’s wife, like a Lady Macbeth, is desperate to remove Jesus away from the trial and from execution. Somehow, she feels exposed in front of him, just as Herod’s wife felt exposed in the presence of John the Baptist.

THAT YOU MAY TURN MY HEART TO STILLNESS, LIGHT AND TRUTH.

In this exercise, imagine yourself to be there in the crowd….some anonymous figure. You are watching, hardly able to admit that you are enjoying the thrill of someone else’s inevitable suffering. You watch the politicians squirm and the religious leaders sweat at the seeming calm of Jesus. The thrill…such a mess! Gradually, you are startled at your own destructive desires and you long for that ‘skill’ in Jesus to remain still in the face of all those self-obsessed psyches. But try imagining yourself as Pilate’s wife: the anxiety; the alarm at what you see as inevitable from this show-trial. Then be Pilate’s wife: ‘What is it that I long to wash my hands free from...’? Write down in your journal your responses to this exercise and use your writing as a prayer, accompanying it with the sentence.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

The Lambeth Conference - 5th Reflection

2008-10-22T09:41:00.001Z

The Bishop of Argyll and The Isles.
Fifth Reflection on the Lambeth Conference.

I was about to remark that it is rather ‘late in the day’ to be offering my fifth reflection on the Lambeth Conference. After all, two months have come and gone. Being true to the word ‘reflection’, however, I am glad that I come to this one so late. What is it that stands out above all in the Lambeth Conference? Well it has to be for me: +Rowan Williams himself, our Archbishop of Canterbury. (Please note the use of the possessive.)

Yes, I know there are those who would wish to fault +Rowan in the current slow grinding of cog-wheels over the ordination or consecration of those in same sex relationships. There are those who would say that his political savvy is suspect. Why have endless discussions about an Anglican Covenant, when some claim that the goodly Archbishop has every intention of pushing it through no matter what? Well, there are many who claim to know. I catch myself often in a ‘knowing’ attitude to others, which is tedious and irritating. And as I remind myself on these occasions, there is a codex related to Luke’s Gospel that has Jesus say: ‘Cursed are they that do not know that they do not know.’ Mmmm! Further, there are those who curl their lips and shrug their shoulders at what appears to be the complexity of +Rowan’s intellectual approach to what he has to write and say. I am reminded by a friend of mine, who is himself a fine preacher and writer, of a comment he received from an elderly lady following one of his sermons: ‘I didn’t know what you were talking about, Rector, but goodness, God was in the passion of what you said!’

Now, I do not want to push this too far, but I have not heard anyone convincingly suggest that they have understood the depth of St John’s Gospel. Nevertheless in the reading and praying of it, there is an engagement with that mysterious spiritual chemistry which can only be described as an experience of God. Any Archbishop of Canterbury would flinch if he was compared to the author of the fourth Gospel. Despite the facile criticisms of +Rowan, I can only tell you that in the three day retreat that introduced the conference, I saw and heard something of the beauty of the Word of God in +Rowan. I experienced an intellect that is determined to stay with the constant struggle of pondering on and expressing the Word of God. There was a holiness in him summoning us, the gathered communion of Bishops, to model the Christ-like life. That holiness is rooted in his authentic and graceful life of prayer that has honed him to give of himself to live towards that model. I cannot find any other way to describe the experience as being, what Peter Berger would describe, a ‘Rumour of Angels’.

Gathering in that majesterial and soaring architecture of Canterbury Cathedral is awesome enough, but for the 650 of us to have it to ourselves with the courtesy and forethought of the Dean, Robert Willis, was a luxury and an unforgettable privilege. All we like rhinoceri gathered for a three day retreat in different sizes, shades and shapes (!). Rather than vaulted silence, there was that rumble of ecclesiastical concern, and a wallowing in the mud of Episcopal gossip. +Rowan hushed it all with his ascending a podium with his addresses on ‘God’s Mission and a Bishop’s Discipleship’. I am told by one of his aids that the addresses were prayed and written on his knees in hours of preparation.

In the slip-stream of the Roman Catholic Church’s ‘Year of St Paul’, and , as +Rowan put it, as an act of ecumenical courtesy, he led off with a quote from the letter to the Galatians: “...who set me apart from birth, called me by his grace, and was pleased to reveal his Son to me.” I remember sitting there next to a Bishop from Sierra Leone on one side and a Poerto Riccan Bishop on the other, wondering whether I really did believe that I was called by grace. Then, in what seemed to me, a simplicity of insight, confounding his critics, he summoned us to think and pray with our own ‘seeing’ of God. “...in what places, in which persons, where is it that we have recognised the Son of God?” Frankly, those who have glanced at these questions might spend the rest of their lives pondering these questions. For me, as I went with the questions into the Chapel of the martyrdom of Becket, I realised that if I were to pray with them deeply, there would be a response from deep within me in my attitudes to my work as Bishop, based on the fragility of my journey as a follower of The Way. Lambeth had already given me a gift which would change my perspective in an irrevocable way. So, as +Rowan gently peered through his Michael Ramsay-like eyebrows (do they go with the job?!), I could feel that gentle tug, asking how real Jesus is for me in this moment and in every moment. That is where the Bishop must start if he/she expects his/her people to start there.

Following the Christo-centric experience of the Bishop, I could almost tangibly feel +Rowan’s pain as he spoke about the Bishop as the ‘focus of unity’. Look at us, I thought. Is it possible that we Christians may prefer division than unity? Let me add immediately that +Rowan is not a man to wear pain on his sleeve. No self-pitying mud-wallowing for him! If you and I are in Christ and we mean that, then unity is that which we already have despite the divisions. We are already one!

I managed to find a spot in the Cathedral where no one else seemed to be. So I lay down on my back and gazed at the vaulting. This posture was interrupted by a concerned verger who asked if I was feeling alright! It was time to get up and leave. So he gave me his hand and helped me to my feet. I smiled at the unity of that simple moment. I didn’t sleep well that night as I read my notes of +Rowan’s address: “...turn over in your minds the question of where you have felt the difficulty of the pressure to belong to something less than Christ, and to take sides.” In the dark of my student study-bedroom, I tried to relive +Rowan’s stricture: “There are few voices saying that the death of a child in Africa or the suffering of a woman in Myanmar, diminish the human reality of the child or woman in Britain or South Africa or Brazil, and the other way round.” Here was a jolt – a jolt that took me into the core of what it is to be part of the Anglican Communion. This is no club for consenting adults. This is the flexible, organic and desperately fragile community that has in common each others’ suffering which is that of Jesus. If the communion is not about that, then it is of little use.

So +Rowan our leader.....? What was his view of Christian leadership in episcopacy within the Communion? “Even in the Christian world we have a very individual view of leadership: and what Jesus Christ asks us to do as the servants of his body, is to find how to exercise leadership in communion. And having said that, there is only one place we can go, and that is to pray and reflect in relation to what the leadership of Jesus Christ means. ...there is no separation between our leading and our following Christ: only as a disciple can we lead, only as a learner can we teach.”

If I am a sycophant then I all I can tell you is that there are worse things to be. For that disease has brought me a healing which Lambeth and its Archbishop gifted.

Each of the retreat’s three days, as we piled back into the coaches for Kent University, I passed a pale-faced demonstrator who looked as if he had never heard a joke, let alone tell one in his life. He was holding a rather tatty poster accusing us Bishops of encouraging Sodomy. As I made an entry in my journal, I couldn’t help laughing to myself at the irony. For it was only after I passed the poster and looked back to read it, that I realised its message. Well I have not yet turned into a pillar of salt.
At the final Eucharist, the Melanesian Brotherhood and Melanesian Franciscans, who had formed part of the chaplaincy team for the Lambeth Conference, carried a book of the names of the Melanesian martyrs from the west end of Canterbury Cathedral into the martyrs chapel at the far East end, singing as they went. As they passed the Nave Altar, +Rowan blessed the book as a sign of the community of suffering within the Anglican Communion. Richard Carter, an Anglican priest, and serving on the chaplaincy team himself worked in Melanesia at the time of the killings. In his book on the experience, he writes: “Things were turning ugly in parts of the Solomon Islands in Melanesia, as tensions rose between two ethnic groups from the main islands of Guadalcanal and Malaita. Many indigenous people on Guadalcanal, opposed the significant presence of Malaitans, who had left their under-resourced island in search of work. Fighting between militants from both sides broke out in 1988 and continued until an uneasy truce was agreed in 2000. One rebel leader who refused to disarm, led a regime of terror in Guadalcanal's remote Weathercoast region. Throughout the conflict, islanders turned to the Melanesian Brotherhood for sanctuary and escape, as well as for help in getting to hospital and finding family members. People had no-one else to turn to. Schools had collapsed, the police force had collapsed and suspicion surrounded the government. Religious communities were seen as impartial. We were the only ones allowed to cross the barricades. It was as part of the peace process that Brother Nathaniel Sado headed to the Weathercoast with a fellow brother and a parish priest in April 2003.
Nathaniel was put in a cage and continually speared until he had begged to die. He was known as a very simple brother... gentle and kind. Harold Keke the leading militant had trusted us. The brothers did not know at the time, but Harold Keke had become paranoid about people betraying him, including those closest to him. Keke believed Nathaniel Sado to be a spy simply because he came from the rival island of Malaita and had asked questions. Six other brothers set off to the Weathercoast to find him. No-one knew they were heading straight to Keke's camp until they had disappeared, too.
The following few months were extremely tough for the brothers, who found themselves not only in the dark about their colleagues but also the target of attacks by Keke's men. But the community held together incredibly keeping an ongoing vigil of prayer for the hostages. They learned in August that brothers Robin Lindsay, Francis Tofi, Tony Sirihi, Alfred Hill, Patteson Gatu and Ini Paratabatu had been shot almost from the moment they entered the camp.”
And so Lambeth 2008 came to an end. Or was it an end? Perhaps these brothers gentle sense of community may be a sign for us, if we desire to see Christ in it enough. Thank you again Diocese of Argyll for making this gift possible. Now, where was I….?

Fourth Lambeth Reflection

2008-09-04T18:28:00.001Z

Fourth Reflection on the Lambeth Conference.
From +Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

‘The Covenanters’?

I’ve changed my mind! I had planned to write about my experiences of the liturgy and the worship of the Conference, the addresses in Canterbury Cathedral and in Kent University. (Oh…. And most important… the making of new friends!) These, I believe, will make a better rounding-off of the series. So…

The title of this reflection might suggest that the whole body of Anglican bishops were in support of the creation of a Covenant. That is not the case, of course. The concept of a, Anglican Covenant has been wandering around laptops, emails, committee rooms and synods of the Anglican Communion for some time. The image that the word ‘covenant’ suggests, for some Scots, takes them back to the 16th and 17th centuries, when Presbyterians bound themselves by religious and political oaths to maintain the cause of their religion. For Scottish Episcopalians, of course, the word has an ‘edge’ to it. As a result of Charles I attempt to introduce the Scottish Prayer Book of 1637, The National Covenant was widely signed in 1638 as a ‘protestant’ reaction to it. Some 30 years later, when Presbyterians were persecuted in Scotland, further covenants were signed.

One of the keynote addresses in the Conference, was given by the Chief Rabbi, Jonathan Sacks. Here was someone who spoke with passion, with intellectual depth and that Jewish sense of humour framed by the ability to allow a primordial smile in the face of tragedy. He spoke of ‘Covenant’ in two forms. There was a Covenant of Fate in which the people of Israel facing persecution, exile and even extinction hold firm to their sense of the mystery of God even in the tragedy itself. The other Covenant is that of Faith, in which God creates an intimate union with his people in order to fulfil his loving purposes for and in history. So, for me, the concept of a Covenant to address the fragile dislocations of the Anglican Communion seems somewhat removed from the sheer ‘gravitas’ which the word covenant assumes. Even in law, where the word is also used, there is a solemnity to the word which has binding significance. Anglicans already have such depth in the threefold ownership of Scripture, Tradition and Reason. The draft Covenant seems to me to be offering the basis of a series of protocols which are gentle attempts to hold the Provinces together in some common discipline. Whether or not there will be an agreement about an agreement (!), I am not sure. However, in the Conference I sensed the desire that the Communion should work together towards some improved methods of communication and good practice that honoured the autonomy of Anglican Dioceses and yet also recognised that there are responsibilities that that autonomy brings in relation to the rest of the Communion..

In some ways, the group that has been asked to develop a ‘Draft Covenant’ for the Anglican Communion, has been trying to provide means by which Anglicans can unite round a commonly held series of statements. The reason for this was and remains because of the increasing sense that the issue of same-sex relationships was not only potentially divisive but could rupture the Communion. Further, there is also a feeling that other hugely divisive issues are not far across the horizon that could be just as disruptive, if not more so. For example, Lay Presidency of the Eucharist. Knowledgeable commentators have shrugged their world-weary shoulders and added that in the history of Anglicanism, there have always been schisms from which it has recovered. I might add wryly, that we are good at division!

To be honest, ecclesiastical drafting of documents doesn’t fill me with huge delight, let alone excitement….and there was a good deal of that at the conference. These Documents have now been published in a Lambeth 2008 booklet called ‘Lambeth Indaba: Capturing Conversations and Reflections from the Conference’. These are part of an organic process of development which I believe honours the attitudes and process of the Conference itself. In the section ‘Human and Social Justice’, this process is beautifully captured:
“God’s mission is holistic; its orientation is toward the redemption the whole of creation. For Anglicans, indeed the whole Church, the Gospel is not just the proclamation of individual redemption and renewal, but the renewal of society under the Reign of God; the ending of injustice and the restoration of right relationship with God and between human beings and between humanity and creation.”

As I have already suggested, there were Bishops at the Conference, particularly from the African and Indian sub-continent, who were anxious to be able to take back the message that the Anglican Communion was going to hold firm against the ordination of any in same-sex relationships to the episcopacy. Others, including priests and lay people in the Scottish Episcopal Church, are anxious to know when there will be agreed openness to such ordinations. The Lambeth Conference studiously avoided making resolutions, let alone decisions. We were constantly brought back to the purpose of the Conference which was to deepen our understanding of the nature of what it is to be a Bishop – ‘Equipping Bishops for Mission and Strengthening Anglican Identity.’

After lunch each day, ‘Hearings’ were held. This gave Bishops the opportunity to make critical comment on the Anglican Communion as it rises to the challenges of a deeper understanding of Mission, Justice, the Environment, World Religions, and, of course, the Covenant. I felt that these occasions were inclined to mirror Synodical debate. The work of the Indaba and the Bible Study Groups created the atmosphere of engagement at a deep level. The Hearings to my observation moved us back into the advocacy of position and not the engagement of the heart. I maintain that issues of the heart are not up for debate. They are to be lived with, struggled with, loved, because they are mystery.

Because I felt so inarticulate about the Covenant I went to several ‘self-select’ sessions which looked at the text in detail. Perhaps I am a hostage to fortune in trying to summarise what the Covenant seems to be about. It is a suggested agreement between all the Provinces of the Anglican Communion that we have foundational principles of faith, that we have Christian practice in devotion, spirituality and reason in common. These divine treasuries are based on scripture, the sacramental life of the Church, and the tradition of teaching that comes down to us principally from the early Fathers of the Church. If there is a whole-hearted ‘ownership’ of this Anglican dynamic, what arises for those who are proposing the Covenant, is a methodology of mediation, where there is conflict in the Church. Where conflict seems to be difficult to resolve, and where a diocese chooses to continue its ‘own’ path, then mediation would reveal to all concerned that the Diocese has chosen of itself to have less integrated relationship with the Communion.

In conversations with bishops from The Episcopal Church (the United States), there was some undoubted hurt that Bishops from other Provinces, particularly from Africa intruded in the life of the Diocese, often without notification, permission or courtesy and exercised their sacramental episcopacy, if the congregation was out of agreement with it’s own Diocesan Bishop. This has led not only to strained relationships between provinces, but to Churches wishing to ‘leave’ their own Diocese with all the legal and financial implications affecting the life and mission of the Diocese. To have strong views is one thing; to have lack of courtesy and pastorally sensitivity is entirely another.

Elspeth and I were invited by American Bishops to a talk given by Gene Robinson, elected to be Bishop of the Diocese of new Hampshire. He is in a committed relationship with his partner, Mark Andrew. What impressed me, was Bishop Gene’s clarity, gentleness and his articulate enthusiasm, not only for his task as a Bishop but also as a communicator of Christ’s presence. At the talk was a fellow-bishop, invited to speak who had not supported Bishop Gene’s election. However, he made it clear that the vote having taken place, then the clarity of the way forward was obvious. If I have a criticism of this experience, it is of the over-individualising of being a Bishop. Our addiction to ‘personality’ has created the tendency for us to look for ‘characters’ or ‘stars’, which combined with a corporate, apostolic understand of episcopacy may be an advantage. Personality by itself can become an ephemeral instrument for a cause which can distort the primary task of the Christ-like for others. This danger is also seen among bishops who oppose Bishop’s Gene’s consecration, privatising their episcopacy for their own self-justified exercise of power. However, I do acknowledge that perhaps ‘pioneering’ for a cause of any kind calls for ‘big’ personality.

I sensed throughout the conference what I can only describe as a shifting of ‘the centre of gravity’ in the Anglican Communion. The Church of England no longer holds automatically a central place in the consciousness of the Communion. Simply being another province, albeit the only one that has such a national role, seemed to be an uncomfortable realisation to some of the Church of England bishops. There are, of course, ‘bonds of affection’. There is a sense of historical roots in the Church of England. However, as Scottish Episcopalians, to name but one Province, influenced by the Church of England though we may be, our roots are distinct from those of many Provinces in the communion, including the Church of England. The call to Mission at the Conference was a call towards adjusting to new realities and a letting go of old norms of assumption.

I am constantly struck by how smartly dressed are Roman Catholic Bishops and Cardinals. No exception was Cardinal Walter Kasper, President of the Pontifical Council for promoting Christian Unity, who lead a ‘self-select’ session on unity. With no intentional play-on-words, the Cardinal was immaculately ‘groomed’, on which my mother would have commented, pointedly glowering at me! He was polite and well-prepared in his lecture, delicately mentioning but ‘body-swerving’ his way round the ecumenical sensitivities created by the ordination of women to the episcopacy in the Anglican Communion, for example. Keeping the doors of friendship and conversation ajar, nevertheless there was behind his diplomatic posture a slight chilly breeze, if not a wind. Here’s a question. If there is to be significant unity with the Roman Catholic Church, since it is ‘Catholic’ and, therefore, universal, what basis other than within itself does it conceive of unity?

However, between Christians whether Roman Catholic or Anglican, there is not only increasing friendship but desire to work together in the depths of spiritual growth and response to crises that now press on us all. The presence, throughout the Lambeth Conference, of Fr Timothy Radcliffe, a Dominican Friar, and Brother Guido from a religious community in Italy, as personal guests of the Archbishop of Canterbury, gave for me a different ‘feel’ of Roman Catholicism: less structurally bound and willing to recognise the ‘Catholicity’ that lies at the heart of the Anglican Communion.

Let me recommend thoroughly the lecture given by Dr Jonathan Sacks at the Lambeth Conference, which you can access through the Conference Website. If you prefer, then do get in touch with me and I will send you a copy of his text. The next reflection will be the last in the series.

Third reflection on the Lambeth Conference

2008-08-19T20:34:00.001Z

Third Reflection on the Lambeth Conference.
From Bishop Martin.
Looking and Listening.

I have a hunch that Nelson Mandela might well have approved of a process which, for the Lambeth design group, was to take a central place throughout the conference. That process is known as Indaba. The accent is on the second syllable of the word Indaba. To place the accent on the third syllable, as was pointed out to us, adds a set of images to the Conference, which might be open to misinterpretation! Indaba is a Zulu word, suggesting a gathering for purposeful discussion. For Mandela, such an approach to political development and the managing of conflict were ingrained in his culture. Thabo Makagoba, the Archbishop of Capetown, was responsible for the initiative at the conference:
“Indaba is engagement with each other as we listen to one another concerning challenges that face the community. These challenges are addressed effectively when there is a desire, despite differences and conflict, to foster ongoing communal living.”
Traditionally, the Indaba consists of approximately 30 to 40 people sitting and conversing until resolution and a way forward is established in the face of any threat to the community or some radical change that has to be addressed. The leader of the Indaba is the one who presents the circumstances for conversation and ensures that each member is heard. In my Indaba were two women bishops. The Conference was my first opportunity to meet and get to know women bishops personally. Few though they were, they were outstanding in their demeanour and gentle strength. They had the ability to challenge and speak directly without injury or blame. I hope and pray that the Scottish Episcopal Church does not have to wait for too long for its first woman bishop.

This, of course, is a culturally different method of public discourse that has become the norm in the Northern hemisphere, where adversarial structures are used, as for example in the House of Commons, or for that matter in Synodical procedures in parts of the Anglican Communion, where the word ‘debate’ or ‘discussion’ is used, which often assumes that positions are adopted and that arguments are won or lost.

Of course, I do not wish to suggest that adversarial politics does not provide checks and balances as a process of accountability. However, to win a debate and to have the persuasive argument in discussion does not necessarily bring about willing conjunction of energy let alone resolution. For me, that is where the Indaba has a great deal to offer us.

I had to keep reminding myself that +Rowan, the Archbishop of Canterbury, wanted this Lambeth Conference to have a clear aim: to equip bishops as leaders in God’s Mission and, in doing so, strengthen the Anglican Communion. The Conference was not there primarily to meet the needs of those who wanted debate, discussion and confident decisions. That, of course, was a disappointment to some, including some Bishops themselves who perhaps feel more at home in the exercise of debate. Certain journalists seemed to be hovering around like vultures looking for signs of victory or defeat. They went away, I suspect, shrugging their shoulders or scratching their heads. There were no ‘carcasses’ to feed off and there were no ‘medal ceremonies’. I might add in passing that I am disturbed at the ability of certain news organisations having the increasing ability to force agenda and decisions, which so often spawns attitudes to the media that are defensive at best and secretive at worst. So often a Church press Officer has to become a strategist for defence and an expert in the art of fending-off.
Throughout the Conference, there was at least one session of Indaba a day. In the Indaba in which I was placed, there were bishops from Sudan, Ghana, Gambia and South Africa, North and South India, the Philippines, Canada, the United States, England and, yes, me – Scotland. When the Indaba addressed the issue of poverty, there was a depth of nervousness and sensitivity, not surprisingly, given the massive economic imbalance between the different countries represented. Now I ask you to remember that this is my reflection and is not therefore representative. I can only illustrate the depth of importance in Indaba in an exchange I had with a Bishop from Central Sudan. He had been separated from his wife for over 6 years because of the various conflicts in Sudan. He did not know, during that time, whether she was alive or dead. They are re-united now and both were at the conference – tall, dignified, quiet and direct in their Christian expression. I asked him, in the Indaba, if I would be able to live for just one month the same daily life-style as he does. ‘No’, was his reply without hesitation, ‘Nor am I asking you to, Martin. I am asking you to look and listen to us and you will see that Christ is on the ground with us.’ This image of ‘Christ being on the ground with us’ is perhaps the most important gift I received in the Lambeth Conference. I pursued the matter with him, however. He has a cup of tea in the early morning and one meal a day which occasionally includes protein. ‘Martin you would not survive psychologically, because you would have chosen to live as such.’ Of course, the Sudanese bishop and, by extension, countless others do survive psychologically perhaps because they have to! How can you possibly debate and argue with such an experience?

What struck me when I had time to pray later on that day is the question as to how would a community like Oban, or Sheffield, or Falkirk cope if people went to Tesco’s or Sainsbury’s one Monday morning and found the shelves empty? At least, I am now aware of the first of the Millennium Goals: ‘The eradication of extreme poverty by 2015.’ Maybe it is alarmist to suggest the possibility of empty shelves. However, we do not have, I sense, enough inner strength as a culture to cope with levels of poverty that I looked at and listened to in the Indaba. A thorough examination of my lifestyle seems to me essential if I am going to begin to address my responsibility towards this Millennium Goal. In the Scottish Episcopal Church we talk about the responsibility of all the baptised. Perhaps that responsibility may include a corporate examination of lifestyle….?
There were, inevitably, one or two voices that intervened wondering when we were going to ‘get down to business’ and – yes – discuss the issue of same-sex relationships and make powerful statements to expectant people ‘back home’. Here there was a stark distinction to be made between bishops from India and Africa who were expected to return to their Diocese with clear decisions, recalling the fact that, as I understand it, homosexuality is illegal in India. For others, such as myself, the expectation of ‘Lambeth decisions’ was not so prominent, with the possible exception of a few contrasting groups within our Church whose respect for episcopacy, as they see it, has been damaged by bishops who are liberal, or conservative or just indecisive!
For many of us bishops, the question as to whether someone is gay or not is to do with the way we are as human beings. For me, the understanding of homosexuality has increased hugely over the last 20 years. Others see it as a condition which can be healed. Others see it as inherently sinful. There is little point in raising the eyebrows and claiming that it is no longer an issue in our culture; characterising it simply as a pre-occupation of largely middle-aged and elderly men. One Bishop from Africa is regularly threatened because he is an Anglican Bishop, with words daubed over his house: ‘The Bishop is a Gay Bastard’. He has had his life threatened on several occasions. In some cultures, homosexuality can still be a death sentence for some. The Bishop of California, Mark Andrus, a warm, calm and scholarly bishop, described his home city of San Francisco: a liberal culture, multi-cultural and wealthy and yet young gay people have been beaten up and left to die. In no way, could he compromise his stance that gay and lesbian people need respect and love and whole-hearted acceptance. Out of that Indaba session there was no resolution. How could there have been? What did happen was that bishops from spectacularly different cultures listened to each other and loved each other in the different agonies of their diocese, resolving to work together out of that looking, listening and loving.
I was a little anxious at the Indaba session which looked at the bishop as a leader in Mission. To be honest, I had already been winded by the image of the Anglican Church in Africa, Asia and the Pacific where growth is massive and constant. What was so heart-warming was to realise from the deep listening and looking at stories that the growth in the Gambia, for example, is a growth in which I belong. This Anglican Church is our Church. The growth in Sierra Leone is the growth of Argyll and The Isles. The beauties and struggles of our Diocese are the beauties and struggles of the Diocese of Kansas, Delaware and Swaziland. The growth of the Anglican in Africa is not to be understood as a judgement on our diminishment and failure, but a gift that in some ways has come from the faith and conviction of this land, which can now resonate back to us, if we see ourselves more as the communion which Lambeth inspired.
For me, what I have drawn from the Indaba is not just an effective process, but a sense of Eucharistic theology working. Here we were men and women feeling deeply thankful for each other, that what they had received was indeed ‘Christ on the ground’ in the detail of our contrasting lives.

Canterbury Cathedral and its role in the Lambeth Conference will be the subject of my next reflection.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles
19.8.08.

Second Reflection on the Lambeth Conference

2008-08-14T08:08:00.001Z

Second Reflection on the Lambeth Conference.
Bishop Martin
‘Permafrost, the Bible and Poverty’

In the Paisley of my childhood, the Bible was something black, that was ‘brandished’ in various locations from the lap of my unhappy grandfather to the bed-side table of my Mother.

The Bible was not a book, but an instrument; frankly, of the controlling world of adults and the judgement of a God I could not discern or make sense of in any way. You might think it strange; therefore, that I now find myself a Bishop, who, after all is expected to be a prime holder of the truth of Holy Scripture. After all, at the Lambeth Conference, the three great planks on which Anglicanism is founded are Scripture, Tradition and Reason.

So when it became clear at the Lambeth Conference that almost every day following breakfast there would be a Bible Study, my first reaction was to grit my teeth. That is not to suggest that the Bible was and is not of vital importance to me. At King’s College, London, in the 1960s, where I was taught theology in , the Bible was seen as a highly complex piece of literature that revealed in varying and sometimes in conflicting ways, the story of liberation of a people through suffering, death, triumph, starvation, plenty, deceit, truth, hatred, love, betrayal, loyalty, humour and seriousness…. and belief and unbelief. The complexity of this Bible; this ‘library of the history of salvation’, demanded that the priest in training, must take seriously the literary analysis and criticism that was determined to find out the true sources of the Bible; who was involved in the creation of the writings and for what and whose purpose they were written. The reality was and remains, in my view, that there are some well founded theories that this science has still to finalise, but uncertainty remains. For me that uncertainty adds to the adventure and importance of the Bible, about which there is always a question mark. Sadly, from my perspective, much of that critical approach to the Bible has disappeared. However, I with the Bishop of Lincoln, a good friend of mine, did our best to remind the Conference that Anglicanism has been at the forefront of Biblical criticism.
I feel that there is a Christian mentality now that wants little else but
certainties. Bible studies can often be the place where certainties are hungered for and truth is in danger of being a casualty.

But, but! There on the first morning of the Bible Study, I was in a tiny supervision room of Kent University, near Canterbury with seven other bishops. At the same moment hundreds of bishops and spouses were in similar rooms throughout the University all allowing themselves to be drawn into the mystery of St John’s Gospel, and more specifically the great ‘I am’ sayings of Jesus. There in our cramped space, with a shining face and bright eyes was the Bishop of Kansas, Dean Wolfe, who led our group. His first action?...He gave us all chocolate coated peanuts! [Thank you Jimmy Carter!] By the end of the three weeks, each of us gave each other gifts from our own culture. Let me get this out of the way now. You will have to forgive me! I gave each member of the group – yes – shortbread. I had forgotten to take gifts with me. Guess what? Elspeth went down to Sainsbury’s in Canterbury to buy the shortbread! I can just feel the air thick with emails now! The others brought gifts of American Indian (First Nation) Christian necklaces, The American prayer Book, Candles made in a township outside Pretoria in South Africa, a stole from Ghana, a video of life in the outback near Perth in Western Australia, books, prayer cards and a pink rosary! These wonderful Bishops were from the North American Permafrost to the heats of South and West Africa.
One of the bishops was from a strong evangelical tradition and had attended the conference in Jerusalem (GAFCON) on reasserting traditional Christian values; the Archbishop from Canada who works among First Nation peoples speaks Cree and is profoundly committed to the Church’s open attitude to those in same sex relationships. Bishop Tom from Perth, Australia, flew the flag for liberal attitudes to New Testament study. Bishop Nedi Rivera from Seattle enabled us all to risk speaking the truth to each other and listen deeply. Sitting often quietly but so attentively was the Archbishop of Ghana with a wonderful Christian name: Justice. He was from a strong Anglo-Catholic culture which had been born from the work of USPG in West Africa. Bishop Mazwi from Pretoria was deeply concerned about poverty and how a culture that has increasing images of plenty is going to adapt to the inevitable rising tensions. I silenced the group by telling them that the Diocese of Argyll and The Isles, the ‘cradle of Christianity’ in the West, has only a little over a thousand Episcopalians. I added that I have only ordained one person in the four years in the Diocese and shock of shocks, confirmed only 12 people in that time. Despite this massive diversity in such a small group of Bishops, most of us we had never met a woman bishop before. (Nedi – what a wonderfully inspiring and strong person you are!) Love and prayer marked our time together. To be honest, I suspect that is because we wanted to listen deeply to each other. And there lies the secret.
St John’s Gospel ‘I am’ sayings (‘I am the Bread of Life, I am the door, I am the good shepherd etc’) became not sayings to be examined under a literary microscope, but beautiful summonings for us to be brought into Christ. And here’s the perspective that for some may be difficult to take. To be in Christ is for each of us to be the ‘I am’! So, as you can imagine, there were moments of silence. What dawned on us all, from our different perspectives, was that because the Bishop is an apostle of Christ, he/she is therefore ‘I am’ – the presence of the Word to be discovered in each corner of each Diocese at any given moment. Laughter, sadness, empathy and listening formed the basic chemistry of the group. A few of us did fly the flag for biblical criticism. That didn’t distract us from the subjective engagement with the text, but deepened that engagement. [If you go into the Lambeth Conference website, and click on the ‘resources’ page, you will find an excellent approach to St John’s Gospel which complements the Bible Study process at the conference itself. It’s called ‘Signs on the Way’. You can download it in different formats to suit you. You might find it useful as a basis for a Bible Study in your charges.]
Now, before you read on, I would like you to get your Bible… yes over there in the corner. No, it’s not black, I know. Now open it up and read 2 Samuel 13.1-22. I’ll wait until you’re finished…… The reason I have asked you to do that is because I now want you to imagine a huge Marquee (‘Big Top’) in which about a thousand people are gathered. One of the Bible Study sessions at the Lambeth Conference was held with everyone together. Professor Gerald West a South African Biblical Scholar (with film star good looks!) had asked that the men (Bishops mostly, with a few male spouses) be on one side and women on the other (Mostly spouses, with a few women Bishops). This was a Bible Study on the story you have just read about Tamar – a raped woman, as you will gather from the text. [When was the last time you heard that story read?] Gerald split us up into fours, which enabled us simply to turn around to those closest to us and share our feelings about the characters who abused, were abused, who didn’t want to face the truth, who held their dignity, who resisted acknowledging the reality of abuse. Roving microphones picked up some reflections from each group. The atmosphere was electric. In so many cultures, abuse is not acknowledged, let alone talked about. Facing up to the potential in all of us, including in me a Bishop, to abuse others in ways subtle and not so subtle, was the painful but creative outcome of what was astonishingly skilful and, for me at least, harrowing experience.

What occurs to me is that perhaps from time to time, more of our charges might risk such an approach to Scripture in the middle of the Eucharist. What would happen if occasionally at a Eucharist, following the Gospel, you simply turned to those closest to you and shared your feelings about the Gospel? If then the reflections were pooled…. Who knows what might come out of it….?
Thank you Lambeth Conference for renewed inspiration in the Bible as it becomes a living present engagement with Christ. My next reflection will look at an approach that was adopted by the Conference to sharing critical issues of our time in a way that has been developed over the centuries in Africa – Indaba.

First Reflection on the Lambeth Conference

2008-08-10T17:14:00.003Z

First Reflection on the Lambeth Conference.
From Bishop Martin.
Argyll and The Isles.
The Pre-Lambeth Visit: Planes and Boats and Buses.

Bishop Surya and his wife Veendya [The Diocese of Karimnagar, North India] stood on the deck of David Ainsley’s powerful boat ‘Porpoise’ and played right into my romantic conceptions of that mystical looking which I associate with those of a spiritual nature from the Indian Subcontinent. They were one of the episcopal couples who were being hosted in the Diocese of Argyll and The Isles as part of the Pre-Lambeth Conference programme. The appeal of what I have imagined to be an Indian spiritual temperament arose in my early experiences of being an Episcopalian. Back in the 1960s, the Rector of St Barnabas, Paisley, my home town, was the saintly John Aaron, originally from the Church of South India, whose wife Grace had that redoubtable quality of not having to try too hard to convey her authority. Both John and Grace had that look, as if they were patiently waiting for a realisation to come from some distant place about which the rest of us were unaware. I could see the same in Surya and Veendya.

Bishop Wayne and I were wondering, before the conference began, whether he would still be the tallest Bishop in the Anglican Communion. The verdict now is…just! He is closely followed by a Bishop from Khartoum – Joseph. Wayne and his wife Holly, of course, are well known to our Diocese. My predecessor, +Douglas and his wife Pat, created the companion relationship with the Diocese of Delaware and that relationship remains strong. Speaking of his height, he says it is an advantage in a crowd provided he’s not late for an appointment!
I plan to be writing several reflections on Lambeth, which will include my experience of sharing the conference with the Bishops of the American Episcopal Church and their spouses. I would only comment, at this stage, that most of the American Bishops I met at the conference, including Wayne himself, were enormously patient and generous, given their experience of Bishops from other parts of the communion who exercise alternative episcopal oversight without courtesy or consent. This practice has developed as a result of a reaction from some parts of the Anglican Communion to the American Episcopal Church’s decision to permit the nomination and ordination of a bishop [Gene Robinson] in a same-sex relationship. Although this was expected to be and became an important feature of the conference, from my perspective it was by no means the most significant given the global environmental, poverty and conflict issues that were addressed and engaged with at depth. (More of this in further reflections] Wayne’s gentleness and strength are indeed an example. Holly, Wayne’s wife, returned to the States following the pre-Lambeth visit. Like many Bishop’s spouses, she had her own work to do. Holly is a practice nurse covering a wide range of medical issues in Wilmington, Delaware.

One of our experiences during the Pre-Lambeth weekend was the welcome Festival Evensong for the Feast of St Benedict at the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit, Cumbrae. Alastair Chisholm and the St Maura Singers prepared fine music and with the beautiful and traditional liturgy of the Cathedral, our episcopal guests were truly introduced into the small, beautiful and challenging life of our Diocese.

The Archbishop of Aoterea,Turei, [New Zealand], has a fascinating Christian name – Brown. Now, I was tempted beyond self-control to ask him if there were connections, given his name, to Scotland, given the immigration history of New Zealand. That produced a smile and a ‘d’know’ look. He and his wife Mihi had the misfortune to have had their luggage mislaid prior to arriving at Glasgow Airport. Turei is a quiet man who has a constant and gentle smile. The connection was made with him through Fiona Rice and the Mothers’ Union. Getting to know Turei and Mihi revealed how strong the MU is in other parts of the Anglican Communion, deeply involved practically and widely in desperate circumstances. Many communities and family life is breaking down, even in New Zealand, including among indigenous or first nation peoples.

Yes, during the Pre-Lambeth weekend, we had a visit to Inveraray Castle. You can imagine that, despite the polite restraint, there was understandable fascination with the history of a culture that had a strong influence on our colonial history. During the conference itself, I became deeply aware of the history of British Missionary organisations (e.g. USPG and CMS) which accompanied that history. These eras may have passed, but the Christian legacy is now bearing huge fruit and a ‘shifting of gravity’ to where Anglicanism is growing and flowering.
I caught one of our guests staring open-mouthed at the hall in the castle filled with pikes, swords and muskets. I commented, perhaps inappropriately, that the images of Argyll that such a quantity of weaponry creates, was of a part of Scotland in 18th century, not unlike the Balkans and the Caucasus in the 20th and 21st century. Our guide was fascinating. But I shall never forget her answer to the question: ‘What is that huge wool tassel just under the sharp part of the pikes. The calm answer? ‘Oh, that’s to collect the blood so that the handle of the pike doesn’t become slippery’!

Tanzania is an African Country where Christianity is strong and growing. Bishop Mdimi, the Bishop of Central Tanganyika, another Bishop in the Argyll and The Isles group, told me that on the Sunday before he left for the Lambeth Conference, he had confirmed 150 people at the Sunday morning Eucharist and a further 100 people in the evening. For that, he needed the assistance of two retired bishops. He was stunned into silence when I told him that in my four years, I had only confirmed 12 people in total. Comparison by statistics, of course, is not helpful. Our cultural and ecclesial circumstances are so different. One of Mdimi’s challenges, of course, is how those numbers of new confirmed are then nurtured and supported. One of the challenges to me, nevertheless, is to ask myself what is our mission not just in wide sweeping terms as in our Diocesan Vision [“Christ call us to live like Him is Word, Sacrament, prayer and Service amongst others”], but also locally in our little charges, as our culture seems to face increasing distance from Christianity, where many have had little or no significant exposure to Christianity, let alone its teaching. Sadly, not long after the conference got under way, Mdimi’s wife, Irene, had to return to Australia, from where she originated, because of their son’s illness.

Elspeth, my dear wife, with her trusty team – Beth Connolly, Fiona Rice, Christiane Lee and Vanessa Kilpatrick, have given time, creativity and careful organisation to the pre-Lambeth visit of the four Bishops and their wives: Hospitality, Ceilidh, Minibus, Travel, Boats and the hosting Charges of Dunoon, Duror, Campbeltown and Oban. Thank you to them for their hard work and many gifts. That work, I believe, set a tone of care and friendship which was essential for the Conference itself. However, none of that welcome would have been possible if it was not for the generosity of charges across our Diocese that contributed to the weekend. Christ was ‘on the ground’ with us throughout and we set off for Canterbury with a sense of that image of Christ also ‘going before us’.
One footnote to this reflection…. The journey from Glasgow, by coach to Canterbury took 15 hours! There was a three hour delay on the M6. However, Christ was there as well. There I stood on the third lane of the motorway, surrounded by stationary (you will glad to now!) solid metal, talking to the Archbishop of Quebec, who was hosted in the Diocese of Moray, Ross and Caithness, talking about mission in remote rural Churches in Canada and Scotland. Thank you M6.
My next reflection will be on the Retreat in Canterbury Cathedral for Bishops before the conference itself began. Watch this space…

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles
Sunday 10th August 2008.

Matthew under the arm 131

2008-08-08T20:00:00.003Z

For days now, Columba and I have been walking through wilderness. Nothing seems to grow except the occasional desolate scrub. The pathway is like caked clay. Beside the road, family groups huddle on their haunches staring hopelessly at us as we pass. They have been fleeing for weeks from the war. It is as if, as Graham Greene would have put it, they were waiting at an appointed place for their inevitable fate. In my bag, was a bottle with just a suggestion of water at the bottom. Wrapped in cloth was the remainder of yesterday's bread and cheese. Columba was needed. So I urged him to continue past the groups until we found a place where could have something to eat and drink. Eventually, beside a ruined sheep pen, I gave him a little bread and the bottle. he disappeared with both. Later in the afternoon, he was rasping for water. I realised then that he had taken his food and drink back to the group. Christ of the alienated and destitute, I am still on this pilgrimage and I have still not learnt!

Matthew 27.1-10
One of the greatest challenges to any legal system even in supposedly sophistictaed societies, is to ensure that the outcome of litigation is not engineered in advance. Even in the UK, there have been recent legal cases where evidence has been distinctly loaded or 'spun' in order to produce a desired outcome. After all, it can be said that agile council has the precise job of attempting to steer the mind of the court or jury in a particular direction. That's the job. Even on a personal level, I want you to be seen to be wrong and for you to accept that I am right. Worse, I am in danger of assuming that you need to have the 'Jesus Christ' that I want you to have. Worse still, I might find myself using the Bible as spiritual justification for my own prejudices and desire for influence over others. My outcomes! So the devastating and intolerable guilt that welled up in Judas when he realised that the case against Jesus was 'stacked' was too much. What an end! A potter's field - a graveyard for foreigners. Maybe that is where Christ is to be found first! Otherwise what's the point of the story being included on the Gospel?

I would have the trust and courage to find You in the places of alienation

Where is it that you feel, or have felt, most alienated yourself? Remember that this question is to be asked in the context of you praying! So establish stillness and focus. Sit in stillness, breathe easily and keep your hands resting on your lap. (or choose whatever posture helps you!) Be with Judas as he goes through his own agony in this passage. If you have the nerve, allow yourself to BE Judas in this story. Then, recall times when you have felt alienated, particularly by your own behaviour, attitudes, even words. What is essential, as always, is to conduct this exercise in the presence of Christ. This maybe a disturbing exercise. Share your experiences of it with someone you trust. What lies at the heart of the exercise is to recall what your feelings were about Jesus Christ as you prayed.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 130

2008-08-05T18:37:00.003Z

[I have just returned from the Lambeth Conference. My own lifestyle has to change before I can be really truthful about my own experience of the Conference. How else can I respond to meeting the Bishop of Darfur, Rembock, Swaziland and California! For me, all the other issues fade into insignificance....]

The day's walk was long and, frankly, tedious. It was too hot for walking. To make matters worse, Columba kept stopping, sitting down on the side of the path and putting his head in his hands. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't seem to get from him what was wrong. From my bag, I pulled out some bread and some cheese to cheer him at noon. He simply put his hand up to push it all away. By mid-afternoon he was so overcome with fatigue, that he leant on my arm with his head bowed. 'I read early today of Peter's denial', he whispered. 'And so...?', I prompted. 'I realise', he added with a cough, 'that I have given attention to so many pilgrim's on this path, but I have not seen Christ in you.' 'In me?' I laughed. I looked at me and wept.

Matthew 26.69-75
At least Judas didn't lie! Maybe his intentions were convoluted (to which the Gospel writers and Christian history have added the word 'betrayal', which has that permanent stain to it). Peter, 'the rock' of the Church was a liar, as I am, even if I hope my lying is not too often and not too obvious! But there is a wonderful impetuosity and naivety to Peter. Maybe the gift of naivety is an important one for the Church as well. God spare us from the blandishment of subtle and sophisticated Christianity, without losing the importance of the intellect and the refinement that questioning brings. The third denial and the cock crowing led to that powerful moment so powerfully caught in J S Bach's 'St Matthew Passion' and 'St John Passion'. The narrator sings the words 'wept bitterly' with musical and liturgical pathos which is unparalleled in musical history. So Peter's lowest moment is 'celebrated' in the Gospel. Therefore, there is no place, even my own denial of Christ, that I can go that Christ in his love cannot come.... indeed has not already come! Despair and hope - the paradoxical experience of Christ.

I WILL COME TO YOU IN THE PLACE OF YOUR GREATEST DISTANCE FROM GOD.

Enter into your silent meditation no matter how you are feeling. Your mood maybe be that of wanting to do everything but be with God. You may want to put your hand up and simply dismiss the activity of meditation as a waste of time. Don't judge yourself. It maybe that you are longing to enter this bleak moment with Peter as it touches your own personal experience. Whatever the feeling (or lack of it) be faithful to your time of prayer and go to your centre. Remember that it is important to discipline yourself to the regular practice of meditation on a daily basis. Even if this is established in you, don't imagine that denial and distance from God is no longer an issue for you. If it isn't now, it will be at some point. This is precisely why I can never, never be your judge. This passage is for me and it is for you in our own dark moment around a fire trying to stay anonymous, only to have our lonely inclination to hopelessness exposed gently and lovingly as in the Gospel. If you feel like weeping...then weep.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 128

2008-07-10T19:50:00.000Z

Being younger than Columba, I had been walking faster than he had. The head wind made the waking tiring, if not exhilarating. So I waited on him by a style for well over an hour. He appeared eventually, surrounded by five men who were shouting at him as they walked. He had his head bowed. This was a frightening scene. ‘You are a waster. You have been on this pilgrimage for months,’ they bawled, ‘and attracted those followers of yours. You walk through our villages and expect us to feed you out of our poverty. Pass on….with that useless friend of yours.’ Columba looked at them and said gently,’ You are not poor. Why do you speak on behalf of those who are? What are you frightened of…’ I hid behind the wall….

Matthew 26:57-68

This is one of those classic Gospel scenes where what is not said is of the greatest significance. Fear dominates every character and submerges the truth under the cloak of ‘righteousness’.. Christ was afraid, but his uniqueness in the scene is that he behaves out of the truth of what he is thinking and feeling. There is a resistance to accept that Christ was fearful. That, however, is to turn away from the God who loves through the bleakness of fear. The severe beauty of Christ is that he can see the fear of the Sanhedrin, who must annihilate this perceived religious threat by any means. And seeing, he engages with the silence of God. That same beauty, faltering though it may have been, is in the fear of Peter who wanted to see what the end would be’. The glorious beauty is not to be found in avoidance but in these fragile moments of powerlessness in His Passion. That is when the Christian Church is at her most beautiful when we live and breathe out of powerlessness.

I WOULD BE STILL WITH THE SILENCE AND BEAUTY OF GOD THAT LOVES IN THE MIDDLE OF FEAR

There are countless ways of using this passage for mediation and prayer. I would recommend that you allow yourself at least half an hour simply to read and read repeatedly the story, identifying in each reading with different characters, including Jesus himself. Note down your feelings. Remember not to assess those feelings. No judgement! Then with one image or word simply be there with Jesus, allowing the affect to surround you of his ‘seeing’, his ‘understanding’. When you are finished, it is important to note down what happened in the period of mediation. Reflect not just Christ’s Passion, but your Passion.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 128

2008-07-08T19:37:00.000Z

Last night, I was awake for most of the night. After all these months with Columba, I had finally realised that he wasn’t mine. Oh yes! There were moments along the way when my desire for Columba’s love was ‘seen through’ and I had learnt my lesson. Or so I thought! Now that the pilgrimage is reaching a climax, I am so disappointed in myself that I still feel that Columba’s love is now, not just of the countless pilgrims along the way, but for ‘pilgrims’ in their myriads down history long after I am forgotten. My wakefulness was exacerbated. I thought of my desire for Columba to give me a sense of direction; a security in God. I wanted him to be the great leader and me to be recognised as his ‘minder’, the one who had made it possible for him to be ‘famous’. Tonight, he looked at me at the table while we were finishing our meal and said: ‘I love you and that love is for you to give away, not to suffocate…!’ He stood up, shook his head and sat by the fire. I was left alone in my resentment.

Matthew 26:47-56 The arrest

The pain of this passage is that I can identify with both responses. The first is betrayal. Perhaps I will only betray the one whom I love. That’s why Judas’ betrayal includes the detail of the kiss! (Perhaps a new slant on ‘The Kiss of Peace’!...) Betrayal is a form of poisonous resentment: a hatred even; that my own deep love does not bring about that person as my possession. That kind of love wants to define and control love for my own fulfilment. To fall in love and then realise that that love is not solely mine, but is part of others lives as well, can lead to suppurating jealousy. Unlike envy, jealousy is destructive of both me and the one I love. Second, there is the violent reaction of the follower, who drew a sword to defend Jesus. I can almost see the clenched teeth. Jesus sees through both responses and allows himself to be abandoned into the hands of those who really want to destroy him. Oh! This story touches the very base of us! Alleluia! Try this sentence in the silence….

COME TO ME IN YOUR MOMENTS OF ABANDONMENT AND REALISE MY LOVE FOR YOU THERE.

You cannot hate someone you do not love. In the silence of your prayer, in the presence of Christ, live in your memory of the occasion when you perhaps hated someone, even if it was only for a moment. If you say that you have never hated anyone, then perhaps you are lucky, or perhaps it is too painful to acknowledge. Look at the history of the relationship that went from delight to poison. With Christ, allow the silence and his acceptance of you to heal deeply. Now, one visit to this relationship will not necessarily heal the hurt within you. You may return and return… However, only do so provided you have someone you trust (a spiritual director, for examp;le) with whom you can share this spiritual and psychological process.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 127

2008-07-02T19:41:00.000Z

I began to sense days ago that this journey, this pilgrimage was nearly over. What next in my life? There are circumstances back home which I left many months ago and which I had forgotten until recently. A fellow pilgrim had brought me news that my own region was suffering from starvation and disease, particularly among the poor. Here was I on pilgrimage while those that I loved would be suffering and perhaps even resentful that I was in easy circumstances. I became afraid of returning home. Had the pilgrimage become an escape for me?

Matthew 26:36-46

In recent productions of the Oberammergau Passion play, the two acutely traumatic scenes to watch were Jesus with his intimate friends in the Garden of Gethsemane and, of course, the Crucifixion. Any comparison would be absurd. The agonising sense of abandonment in the Garden was for me almost impossible to watch. ‘My soul is sorrowful to the point of death’ is one of the sayings of Christ in this scene, that is often overlooked. Perhaps the sheer pressure on Christ’s heart was getting dangerous.. The clenched teeth can almost be felt as he then cries for the ‘cup that he has to drink to pass by’. The desolate and, perhaps, silent scream of the Son of God, can be pictured by imagining Eduard Munch’s famous painting: ‘The Scream’. This scene of Christ’s agony does not tell us of the conquering of fear. Rather, fear and dread are quite simply faced.

THAT YOU MAY BE AWARE OF MY PRESENCE IN YOUR DEEPEST MOMENTS OF ANGUISH AND LOSTNESS

Fear and one of its symptoms: anxiety, reveal the most vulnerable part of the human psyche. Most would do anything to avoid being seen to be fearful. Worse, to experience fear can be an intensely painful and isolating experience. One reaction is to fight; come out ‘punching’. Another reaction is to run away somehow. The difficulty is that to run away from fear is to assume wrongly that you don’t take it with you! The third reaction is to stand and acknowledge it. This is perhaps the most important moment in any inner life that is going to be entered upon with courage. The meditation sentence assumes the ‘voice’ of the Christ who knows desolation, is offered so that the fear you experience can be faced. But you would be well-advised to share it with someone who is a spiritual director or a listener whom you trust.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 126

2008-06-29T17:03:00.003Z

[I am aware that the pilgrimage with St Matthew's Gospel is drawing to a conclusion (if ever pilgrimage end!). In this posting I refer to St Martin... Having his name is a wonderful honour, particularly as you will see, as the great Bishop of Tours, he influenced so much of early Christianity in Northern Europe and Britain.]

I couldn't wait any longer. yesterday evening, I asked Columba about where the pilgrimage would end. 'For me, it will be another dying!' What did he mean? 'Just remember the great Saint Martin of Tours and the cross that calls us....' Again, I had no idea what Columba meant. I then added: 'But you are so much stronger now. What is it with you... 'dying'? You are too important to be near death.' Columba drew five circles on the soil at the side of the path. Two circles he drew clockwise and three anti-clockwise. He then winked at me as he said 'Our Father...', holding up five fingers of his right hand and then silently pointing at the sun. 'Soon', he said. That evening in the inn as I downed a long and gorgeous drink, I turned to a fellow-pilgrim and waxed eloquent that I was being taught spiritual secrets by Columba... But he overheard... 'Dying? is that much of a secret... Pay attention!'

Matthew 26:30-35….
The writer of the Gospel was immersed in the Psalms and the Prophets. He would see the echoes of Jesus’ story going back to ringing and yet disturbing passages in the Hebrew Scriptures. As we pray with this passage, we are wrapped in the experience of the early church perception of Christ both wounded and risen which lies at the source of every part of the Gospel; Christ who is to be identified with the most alienated and apparently least likely to be associated with the Glory of God, and yet, they are the very ones through whom we experience the mystery of the Resurrection. Peter who was to become the founding apostle of the Church is in the dark as to the significance of this mystery. All his securities are collapsing around him. Therefore he responds out of fear. Peter falls into that obvious trap of ingratiating the one he admires. Oh! A much repeated habit

That in the alienated, I may affirm the work of Thy Rising.

The psychology of trying to please may arise from a natural admiration of someone’s skills or personality. The motivation is often that I may be included in the admired person’s life and that I may receive some reflected affirmation. It may also be that I want to escape the lack of self-worth or of my weaknesses being exposed. In this exercise imagine someone you have come to know and admire. Notice even the slightest inclination in you to ingratiate. This is not an exercise in self-accusation. Simply be aware. Then read the passage again. Identify with Peter, hearing Jesus speaking to you – understanding the depths of you. Jesus is not a hero or celebrity to be ingratiated. He is too deeply within you, for fantasies about his remote otherness to have any meaning.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 125

2008-06-20T14:32:00.003Z

Down in a valley this morning, that lay below the rough cart track that we seemed to have been on for days, there lay a village. Smoke crept stealthily into the early morning sky. Columba ate some dried fruit that our hosts gave us yesterday evening. He sat on the damp grass and gazed on the little house. After half and hour, he stood up and immediately set off down the fields, with me scampering afterwards. (His walking step was huge and long...) On entering the village, a little chapel snug among the cottages, revealed itself. The door was open with flickering candle-light within. Old women, children and bored looking men lurked in the shadows, waiting. The priest entered. There was his muttering. But then, as if something had woken him, he said slowly 'This is my body'. He raised his arms with bread between his fingers. Columba looked at me and smiled. We knew what we were saying to each other. Christ walks with us. He is here! I knew then that this was why Columba always held to the old fathers' insistance on the daily Eucharist. 'Give us this day our dailybread'.

Matthew 26:26-29….
In the heart and mind of the Gospel writer is the immanent death of Jesus. A meal, ordinary though it would seem from the description, was and is of ultimate significance – Christ, Messiah, Son of Man – the revelation of God – is in the bread and wine. From this eating and drinking would follow Christ’s death. This too becomes part of us. And so, in the food of God and the 'death' of God there is the route to the activity of the Kingdom.

In the presence of Your Body and Blood, I would know the mystery of Your Life and Your Death.

The Eucharist is not simply an act of remembering, it is recollecting – a bringing into the present the Christ of the Gospel. It is also an enactment of the feast of the Kingdom which is to come. Heaven and earth truly touch in the Eucharist. All prayer emanates from this enacted recollection. You are called to honour this by your regular receiving of Christ’s Body and Blood – to meditate, when you can, before the Blessed Sacrament. From this discipline, you are called to see Christ’s Body around you, that you may serve and love wherever and in whoever you see that Body.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 124

2008-06-15T18:05:00.003Z

[So sorry to be so long in making a posting. My excuse is ...leading a pilgrimage to Assisi and the Scottish Episcopal Church General Synod....]

For two days now, this woman has been walking with us. She has been asking Columba questions about himself and his spiritual life. She has never asked me anything! On one occasion, Columba was speaking about relating to emotions in prayer, the woman suggesting that when she prayed she was constantly plagued by emotional 'surges'. I tried to put in something from my approach to prayer. All that happened was that I was completely ignored...by them both! So I stumped off on my own, head down and heart beating in a rage, about which I could do nothing at the time. This morning, it happened that I walked with the woman myself. How do you imagine I am feeling now? I told her about Columba's temper and how depressed he can get.... 'Why are you telling me this?', she asked.....

Matthew 26:14-25….
The Gospels do not give much detail as to Judas’ motivation. One possibility is that he was trying to force Jesus’ hand to ‘take on’ the religious and political powers and bring in the kingdom now. The other is that he was jealous of some of the disciples being closer to Jesus than he was. Perhaps he was frightened that eventually not only Jesus would be arrested but that he would be. The feast of Passover provided a possible timing for the realisation of all these. The exposure of betrayal at table is significant, because eating together is an intimate experience. Everyone at a table is included in the experience. Whatever the motivation, Judas’ fear is plain to see. So is mine! Fear!

Let Your Light expose and heal the fear that lies in the depths of my heart.

One of the most dangerous of emotions is jealousy, which not only wants what someone else has, but wants to make sure the other person cannot have it either. It is dangerous because it can lead to destructive behaviour towards others including oneself. In this exercise, you may find it helpful to have someone you trust to talk through your experiences. Recollect the occasion you wanted to behave destructively towards someone. Relive the events in detail but without judgement of yourself. Then imagine yourself at table with Jesus and feel the same feelings towards him! However, for the major part of your meditation use the sentence to realise that all these feelings are in you and that you are being freed from them.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 123

2008-05-18T15:03:00.003Z

Columba is beginning to worry me. He is exhausted. But there is a limit to what I can do....isn't there? Surely? This evening when we arrived at a little cottage to sleep in the barn, the old lady who owned the house, offered us water to wash ourselves. Columba said he was too tired. I replied that he stank to high heavens! 'Well then. You wash me! I'm too tired to do anything for myself'. There was silence. 'I'll wash your feet and your head and hair....' 'When you were a boy', he then asked, 'Did your father or mother not wash you all over.' 'Of course', I answered apprehensively. 'Well, I am your child now. Wash me all over'. When I lay down on my blanket to sleep, I buried my head. Why? I turned away from Columba and could not face the intimacy.

Matthew 26:6-13….
Jesus’ host’s skin-disease was probably contagious. It would have been seen as a moral ‘sentence’, not unlike leprosy. Then, for Jesus, it would have been risky to have a woman be physically intimate with him. Further, the oil was expensive and lavishing it on Jesus seemed to contradict Jesus teaching about poverty. To cap it all, Jesus used this anointing to prepare his disciples, men and women, for his death, his burial. Of course, anointing was associated with death, but Jesus' death? He has been called The Sign of Contradiction. On every count in this story he ‘goes against the grain’. Why? Because his kingdom is not of this ‘world’.

I would look for the signs of Your Kingdom in among the rejected.

In your silence, recollect a time when physically you have been loved in whatever way: some act of love given freely entirely for you, no matter how small. Get into the detail and enjoy it. It is Eucharistic! ‘Do this in remembrance of (recollecting - 'anamnesis') me.’ ‘This is my body. This is my blood.’ Now recollect some intimate act of love you have given for someone else, particularly to someone most people would reject. If this is difficult, then simply imagine someone you would be inclined to reject and then - love them! Go on - do it - now! Use the sentence to deepen your prayer.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 122

2008-05-13T17:01:00.003Z

Behind us earlier today, came two young men who seemed to be policemen or soldiers. They were shouting at us. 'Move to the side and let the procession pass!'. Five minutes later, a caravan passed through which included important looking people surrounded with assistants and officials. Columba smiled. I felt resentful. Didn't they know who was with me? Later when we reached the nearest village the leaders were sitting in the inn. It didn't take long from the conversation for me to realise that these were religious leaders. Columba approached them, put down his copy of Matthew on the table. One leader lifted his eyes and looked at Columba, who asked them gently: 'Have you read...really read this? Have you ruminated with the Gospel? Have you prayed with it? Have you rested with it?' I was angry at the contempt on the religious leaders faces. Columba put his hand on mine. 'Do not meet fear with fear!'

Matthew 26.1-5....
The three days of Jesus Passion is dove-tailed into Old testament prophecy which had developed a theology of God's presence to be found in all things. Jesus himself was aware of the political processes that would lead to his execution. Religious leaders have always felt threatened by those who have a spirituality that is immediate and raises questions about institutions that protect their own power base and vested interests. We can almost smell the anxiety of the chief priests and elders...that terrifying prospect of loss of control.

Let My Freedom within you lead you to a deeper awareness of My Love in others.

When there is a feeling that your own Leaders have not been true to their responsibilities, the criticism is often severe. Look what happens so often in families when a parent dies and the will is read as a record of who is loved and who deserves. The feelings can be intensely destructive. But Matthew and the early Church learnt by their acute spirituality to look at their Jewish leaders through the eyes of Christ. Look over recent days and see when you have felt threatened and fearful. Was it the possibility of rejection? The loss of control? Use the sentence to look at the detail of your feelings through the eyes of Christ.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 121

2008-05-07T07:32:00.004Z

As I looked at Columba last night before we slept, his eyes seemed sunken not so much with the strenuous walking of the day, but with something much deeper than that, that I couldn't quite understand. He understood my look. 'Do you know what has tired me most? It has been carrying in my heart on this pilgrimage those for whom I have been asked to pray. I feel, for example, a powerlessness in praying for two factions in these lands who have been at war with each other for decades and there is no prospect of peace. There is the aweful sense of Christ's Gospel demand that the Church is one in Christ, and yet the anomosity and suspicion are deep within the Body of Christ.' As he crept into his bunk, he was weeping and hoping I hadn't noticed. I realised that here was the Intercession of Christ lived out in this holy man. In some strange way, he is a sign of hope. His holiness is a judgement on my resentments and divisions. 'The End' of all things will surely be marked by such love.

Matthew 25:31-46….
In the Hebrew Scriptures, the development of a concept of 'the end of all things' comes through the experience of suffering and catastrophic events. This language suggests the way God was communicating with his people; ‘judging’ his people now. The focus of this development in the Hebrew Scriptures is often on a single figure: The ‘Son of man’ - of huge moral and spiritual stature, who would suffer at the hands of distorted humanity and judge humanity at the ‘end’. As the title suggests, although there was an exalted tone to it, nevertheless there is a sense in the texts that the Son of Man is also a representational figure. Therefore, I am deeply caught up in the movement towards the end now. Matthew’s Gospel makes the connection between Jesus and the ‘Son of man’ image. It is also a call to waken up to the urgent need to change life-style as a preparation for the ‘end’, because as the Son of man is identified with Jesus then the end is not far away. Indeed, that end' in breaking-in now.The Passion and Resurrection of Christ is the exposure of the very presence of the Son of man.

Be still and know the freeing power of My Wisdom within you

The rise of anxiety over the ecology of the planet, the delicacy of global economics, coupled with the threat of nuclear or bio-chemical warfare has raised awareness of ‘ends’. However, the Gospel summons you to be awake to this moment as an ‘end’. After all, your own death could happen at any moment. So in this exercise, imagine your own death, but only do so if you have someone with which you can share the exercise. What happens a few moments before your death and what happens to you afterwards: to your body, to your belongings, to those you love. Repeat the same, but move down say 10 years or 20 or 40 and so on. Using the sentence after this exercise is a powerful experience of waking up to this moment!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 120

2008-05-02T19:01:00.002Z

For most of today, a young boy joined us. His Mother and Father were walking well behind. The boy had heard that I could sing and wanted to accompany me on his flute as we walked along. However, I shrugged off the suggestion and said that he was too good for me and that I would spoil his playing. Undoubtedly, he was talented. Columba sang, however....out of tune and with the most dreadful tone! Soon, we were joined by about 20 people laughing and singing. I became more and more resentful and ashamed. So I dropped out and hung behind them all. That night Columba told me a story from Matthew.....

Matthew 25:14-30….
The most important part of this parable is where the third servant hid the talent given him… ‘so I was afraid.’ Remember that parables only make a single point. Our attention is often drawn away from the single-hearted focus of our life: namely on the Kingdom of God, not to be identified with human psychology or power structures. Fear demonstrates the power we have given to others. In turn, the decisions we make are to placate or even to appease. We become more interested in pleasing those in power rather than God.

Let me be aware of the gifts you have given me and so offer them to Your service

Read the passage carefully and slowly several times. Then imagine that Jesus is telling you the story. He is with you now. What do you do in your daily life to focus on the will of God for you and what do you do to please others out of fear? Write down your reactions to this question. Write down the gifts you have and then use the sentence. Imagine you have your gifts in the palms of your hands, given to you to use. Note your feelings.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 119

2008-04-29T19:46:00.003Z

Yesterday afternoon, we couldn't find any inn with a bunk because the whole town was full of wedding guests. However, we were invited to attend the wedding. Outside the church, in the square there was wonderful food and dancing. Eventually, the bride came across Columba and I sitting on the wall surrounding the village fountain. She saw Columba's 'Gospel of Matthew' sticking out of his coat pocket. "What do you carry that for?" she asked almost cheekily. "Well, for the same reason as you might carry it with you everywhere. Christ is summoning you to live like him in your marriage. He loved weddings, remember. In marriage, you can learn to be a servant and to suffer on behalf of the one you love. This will lead you to be a servant and to carry the suffering of many."

Matthew 25:1-12….
In the Old Testament, the prophets guided the Hebrews to see that God’s judgement and his love were behind even the catastrophic events of their history. Messiah – a servant 'leader' - would lead the people to a new way of being in faith to God – through suffering and service. Jesus was the realisation of that hope. And so, with Jesus there would always be endings, which would be part of God’s creation and recreation history. Hence in Matthew the importance of readiness for the presence of Christ. The story about the wedding attendant locked into a tradition that living in union with God would be like a wedding banquet: the intensification of loving, serving relationships in the context of delight.

Let the Hope of bringing you into Union with Me, enrich your heart for serving Me in each moment

Despite the fact that many marriages do not work out, nevertheless the hope that they will be symbols of eternity and the delight of union is still strong in the imagination of some. The spirituality of Christianity summons you to be attentive to the potential for union in each moment. The tragedy is that the more awake you are the more you realise how many opportunities you have missed for delight and realising God’s presence. So empathise with the foolish wedding attendants! As you move into silence look at the last 24 hours and become aware of the opportunities that you have used in the most insignificant circumstances. With the sentence, move into the detail and allow God to intensify his Union within you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 118

2008-04-26T15:52:00.003Z

For some days, a young woman has been walking with Columba for most of the time in silence. It hasn't looked as if Columba has been saying much either. As for me, I have been silent also. However, mine is about having lost my voice through chest problems. My breathing has been difficult, affecting my sleep as well. For mile after mile, the two of them seemed to exchange little but the occasional glance or smile. Yesterday when we stopped for some bread, cheese and some fruit, I turned to her and asked with a rather painful whisper, why she hadn't been saying much to Columba, let alone asking him questions. 'I have been trying to learn from him how to watch and to listen.' 'But, there has been no conversation to listen to', I added in puzzlement. 'Yes, there has been listening to the silence.' What was she talking about!? Columba smiled at me. 'Remember, silence is the gift of God. It is not the absence of sound. It is gift. It comes with the gift of simplicity. And in explaining that to you, I have said too much!'

Matthew 24:37-44….
Jesus was not so much concerned with the actual events of a devastating end to history. The fact that it can happen at any time - ‘momento mori’ - calls for a constant awareness. This calls for simplicity. The speculations of enthusiasts for apocalyptic events also distracts from the crucial issues of ‘this’ moment. There have always been Christians who have lived a life of simplicity; who have followed a vocation, 'an option' to be poor in order to be awake to however the presence of God is to be discerned in ‘this’ moment.

I would have my life simplified by the indwelling Spirit of awareness of Your call to me in each moment

Look around your room now. How encumbered are you by ‘things’? The vocation is to be ready and awake enough to discern God’s presence in your life and the lives of others. What gets in the way of that? Can you do something about it? Seek guidance from a spiritual director of skill otherwise this exercise can be nothing other than a plunge into guilt. On the other hand, you can easily avoid the uncomfortable question. However, some ‘things’ are for sheer enjoyment. They can be means of discerning God’s presence. The issue is whether you are free to have them or not to have them. It is identifying yourself as ‘possessing’ that can be the disease. Use the sentence to deepen this awareness.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 117

2008-04-22T07:52:00.002Z

There he was, on his own, looking out across a rather bleak moorland. It was early in the morning. Columba has taught me the importance of praying in silence early in the day, before its concerns and, sometimes, its intrusions break in. [By the way, he also taught me that these 'intrusions' are also indicators of the movement of God in the heart. So they are not to be dismissed.] This morning his eyes were sunken and he looked anxious. Indeed, that was obvious. He was shaking. Columba? I approached him trying not to startle him. He turned and looked like a desperate child into my eyes. 'I am lost. I simply cannot pray.' 'Why?' I asked gently. 'Because I am constantly confronted by my fear of dying and death - of loneliness. My belief has deserted me, if I ever had it'. Columba! Inwardly, I smiled. Here was holiness indeed!

Matthew 24:29-36….
Three strands of Jewish culture and belief come together. One is the established sense that there would be an ideal man, one who was utterly obedient to God as servant and prophet. The second was a developed sense that the end of all things was not the end for God. All events in creation were God-events, including devastation and suffering. The third strand was that this ‘man’ is effective in bringing healing and love (redemption) even in the course of the ‘end’. Jesus for Christianity became the ultimate focus of these strands: The Son of man.

Let the eyes of your heart be open to my Healing and my Love in all creation and experience

In the face of the news, the suffering of someone you love or maybe your own suffering, it is difficult to discern God’s healing and loving. The stomach tenses. the heart races or the dark clouds of depression gather - or all three. Praying in the middle of these feelings is hard. Maybe you can only last a few moments, if any! It is in these moments that prayer is most important. Don’t concern yourself as to whether you are concentrating or not. Acknowledge briefly that God is to found in all your experiences. Simply use the sentence faithfully throughout the day and you will begin to see God as the one at the heart of all your experiences. That discernment maybe of vital importance to you and to others.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 116

2008-04-17T19:55:00.003Z

After all these months with St Matthew's Gospel, I had begun to feel confident in my understanding of its 'flow' and meaning. Yesterday... Well, let me explain. Two young girls joined us. They were covered in mud and were damp through. However, they were blissfully happy. They asked about myself and about Columba. I then started to wax eloquent on the Gospel of Matthew, that I was carrying. 'I have it in my heart now', I added with sickening sentimentality. So I gave them my take on the new certainty that I had of the Kingdom of God and how they ought to have the same. Columba, who was walking ahead of me, stopped when he heard me. he turned and glowered at me. 'And are you ready to be crucified? Only then claim the Gospel as a certainty. Then God will be the on ly certainty there is and, of that, you will doubt....' Silence. Did he need to embarrass me...?

Matthew 24:15-28….
Religious communication around the first century CE was often fearful and portentous. This was not surprising, given the Roman occupation, the interplay of many religious cultures in the Near East; and then the destruction of Jerusalem in 70CE. Matthew's Gospel was written after that devastating experience. In our own time, when there is uncertainty about our own culture, there are many religious leaders who attract attention to themselves, manipulating the emotions and fears of many. One of the marks of religious proselytism is its certainty. That certainty is often claimed to be basedd on faith in God, when it is often a claim about certainty in the human mind, which is very different indeed. This kind of 'certainty' is inclined to feed off (vultures) the fearful (corpses). Like others, Jesus had a prophetic sense of the terrifying implications of his times, but implored that those who followed him take responsibility for themselves and be constantly prepared for God’s kingdom and not be distracted by the opportunism of fanatics.

Let your heart and mind be awake to My Wisdom

It is important to notice that Jesus did not condemn fear. He frequently exclaimed: ‘Do not be afraid’. Everyone is afraid of something and sometime. Christ was simply acknowledging the power of fear. What matters is to recognise and understand your fears, in that way, very slowly, they will begin to have less power over you. Gradually you will begin to focus on what is really important. You will be les prone to being manipulated by those who know how to manipulate your fears. Begin your meditation by looking at that of which you are afraid. Do not try and get rid of fears or chastise yourself. Move into praying gently with the sentence. Once or twice during the day, when fears rear their heads, use the sentence and just notice how your fears operate in you. Ask God to that your fears may be used for others healing: a preparation for the Kingdom of God.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 115

2008-04-13T19:52:00.003Z

The weather for the last few weeks has, on the whole, been wet and windy. Columba looked pale and tired by mid-morning. So I found an elderly couples little dwelling just off the path. Smoke was rising from the little chimney...a welcoming sight. The old man took us in and gave us some hot water to wash and warm ourselves. His wife produced soup and bread. There by the fire were four other pilgrims. Three of them were watching the fourth with awe. Columba paid little attention. After a while one of them asked Columba: 'Do you know who this is?' Silence. 'Do you not know you are in the presence of a great spiritual teacher? He knows the scriptures and knows what it is to trust in Jesus.' Columba smiled and simply said, 'I'm enjoying my soup. That's my spiritual teacher for now'.
Matthew 24:1-14….
Jerusalem was sacked in 70CE and perhaps the writer of the Gospel was feeding back that experience into Jesus’ sayings. Here we the readers of the Gospel are having our compass bearings readjusted. The Kingdom of God is beyond any temporary civilisation or political system. Fear is engendered when a status quo or ‘our’ life is under threat. By focusing on God’s Kingdom these fears then become redundant. When there is the fear of collapse on any scale, characters emerge in public who claim apocalyptic insights and powers for themselves. Our culture now has a myriad of such personalities particular in the world of 'spirituality' and 'religion' played out in the realms of fantasy and marketing.

Be still and know the Truth of My Kingdom within that frees you from fear.

What makes it difficult for you to 'name' your fears, even to yourself? Do you recognise inclinatons in yourself to shift responsibility for your fears on to something or somebody else? Who do you know that accepts you for who you are and you can speak to about your fears...? When you look at a well-known a Christian leader that you admire, what qualities does he or she have? So in the silence allow your fear to come to the surface, but do so 'in the presence' of the sentence.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 114

2008-04-04T08:57:00.002Z

As I have seen many times on this pilgrimage, Columba, before he gets into his blanket, or under some rug-skin to sleep, kneels upright (and without leaning on anything) for about 10 or 15 minutes, no matter how tired he is. I asked him why? "Going to sleep is symbolic of preparing for death. Therefore this prayer is one of constant preparation!" With a wry smile he added that in any case, he may die that night, and, looking at me with a bigger smile... "...and so might you". Chuckle. Mmm. In the morning he rises early. The dawn of Christ crucified and risen. And that 'habit' has become vitally important for me. I wasn't a 'morning person'. Now I am. "Rise and listen to God before anything else pre-occupies your consciousness," spoke Columba with that hopeful ring to his voice. He used his 'Matthew' and what I discovered was his memorised prayers...mostly the psalms. Then there is silence, even in a room full of people. "Waiting and stillness", he added once "are the roots of the prophetic heart. In these attitudes we will sense in the air the rumour of God." These gifts of Christ I have come to realise are not what 'I' or indeed 'you' may do, but are gifts of God. My job is to let myself be there/here to receive them...obedience!

Matthew 23:33-39….
The genius of Judaism is that the simplicity of God is to be discovered in his intimacy with all creative and human activity. God therefore is the ultimate focus of every moment of our lives. When religious institutions and their leaders then behave otherwise, then there is a denial not only of God but what it is to be human and a significant as well as responsible part of creation. Political blueprints that, in effect, denied the underlying inspiration of God had corrupted Jerusalem theocratically inspired civic life. The prophets were (and are!) those who drew attention to that, sometimes in dramatic ways that lead to their rejection and in many cases 'liquidation' by the leaders of religious institutions. That disturbing process is as much if not a major cultural issue for us now.

Realise in your heart that I am the Source of Life in all you are and do.

This meditation is best practiced at the end of the day, but before you are too tired! Sit or kneel in silence and use the sentence to focus your mind into your heart. Then review each detail of your day. What were the priorities that governed your attitudes and your behaviour? Remember that you can write your thoughts or even symbolise them by drawing. Do not analyse, only observe. The meditation is not just about your shortcomings. You might consider how you can recall at various points during the day, God’s presence and his will for you and the context in which you are set. A simple form of prayer and reading in the morning, midday, evening and at night can help you maintain your spiritual compass-bearings. With some apprehension, I would add that for Christians this is an obligation, not a word that sits well with a culture obsessed with 'choice' and paltry notions of freedom.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 113

2008-04-02T11:59:00.002Z

For three days now, a young woman has joined us on our pilgrimage. In fact, it looks as if she may remain with us for the remainder. Despite her years, her face already shows the marks of pain and anxiety. There is, however, something intensely strong in her eyes. What that is, perhaps I shall discover. Columba talks and talks in her presence. I couldn't help feeling slightly gleeful at an exchange which happened earlier today. Columba was sitting on some dry grass and showing the young woman, Clare, his copy of Matthew's Gospel. He was describing how he and I had been using Matthew on our pilgrimage. Columba seemed to indicate huge knowledge and confidence in the Gospel. I was irritated in what sounded like self-righteousness in his voice. He noticed this in me. We became embroiled in a lengthy debate, he and I, in how confident we were in the Way of Christ. The young woman listened and listened until, at last, there was an break in the prattle. She added, 'It's not whether YOU are confident in The Way... That is impossible. What is possible is the confidence and love of God in you....' Silence descended. I hope she stays!

Matthew 23:13-32….
“I am one of those who have the key to finding God…. To find God, be like me…. I give my attention to the things of God rather than God himself…. My scrupulosity over the details of my life is designed to impress…. I give pride of place to my image of myself…. My attention to my outer life is starving my inner life…. I blame others for the maltreatment of the saints of the past masking my complicity in violence….” Jesus in these seven ‘exposures’ provided the opportunity for self-examination in the early Christian Church to be clear about its motivation in preparation for God’s Kingdom.

I thank you that you are opening my heart to Your Clarity in preparation for living in Your Truth.

Begin with silence and the sentence until you feel still enough to look at this exercise. Use the seven ‘exposures’ above to review some of your attitudes. If it feels appropriate, write your reactions down honestly without being over-analytical. Do not try to make any resolutions too quickly. Simply observe your feelings that arise and face them for what they are. You may want to share your observations with a spiritual director or someone you trust. Soon the story of the Passion will be the greatest exposure of motivation that there is.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 112

2008-03-27T09:25:00.003Z

For two days now, Columba has had that pinched look to his face. Frankly, the great man is being a pain. But there is a beauty to that! he had a sleepless night last night and I had to join him in his lseeplessness. He moaned away that no one had spoken to him about anything worthwhile for days. No one had asked for advice. No one had said 'thank you'.... etc. etc. 'Poor you!', I mockingly added. He turned over and snorted. In fact, I am certain he swore at me! Rather self-righteously, I said to him,'But Columba, you have spoken about giving away power, about humility....' 'Yes!' he replied, 'I spoke about it, but I can't do it'. I added, 'Well, if it was me saying these things, you would be remarking something like... "If you can't live it yourself, then let Christ live it in you."'. Another snort!

Matthew 23:1-11….
The reality is that those who have any level of psychological security do not need to be noticed or given status. In political and religious institutions in particular, the weaker they become the more names, ranks and hierarchies seem to appear. It reveals an anxiety about collapse and loss. Jesus makes the assumption that the one who follows him has begun to experience inner security for two reasons. The first is that he or she acknowledges the Kingdom of God as the only process into which human endeavour is aiming to be incorporated. That process is entirely characterised by service and not power. The second is that God has such prior place in human consideration that status and posture is of little if no significance.

I would be more and more free to be of service to the Hope of Christ.

What you choose to wear, your manner in all conversations, what you spend your resources on, are give-aways! Self-image is one that is more important than most are prepared to admit. Lack of affirmation can lead to alienation and resentment. If whole classes or ethnic groups feel such, there are profound dangers, which our cultures are now experiencing. On the other hand, to seek for admiration or conversely sympathy for its own sake is to be cut off from the health of Christ’s vision for hope in God. In the silence, look at recent days and relive the experiences where you sought for attention for its own sake. This exercise is not about guilt, but about becoming awake to motivation and action. In your prayer, ask deeply to have your ‘compass bearings’ reset to the love and service of God in others.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 111

2008-03-22T09:40:00.002Z

[I appreciate that there is huge anachronism in these 'posts' given that it is in the period of Holy Week and Easter. There is a magnificent and disturbing painting by Matthias Grunewald, contained in the triptych known as the Isenheim altarpiece. Christ is putrid and decaying on the bent and knotted framework of the cross. Below Him is John the Baptism holding the text: 'I must decrease.; he must increase'. With his free hand he points to the hideous figure that has that inimical and severe beauty to it. Of course, the 'presence of John the Baptist' at the crucifixion is, perhaps, a glorious anachronism! After all, my standing at the foot of the cross with you, is also an anachronism...... Remember that these meditations are shared with you from the perspective of thousands of years of living in the economy of a Risen Christ crucified... time is turned on it head! May the souls of the dead visited by Christ this day (Holy Saturday) be for us the mystery of hope.]

Two days ago, late on in the afternoon, Columba was climbing some steps over a dyke wall. Admittedly, it was pouring with rain as well as being bitterly cold. He and I were soaked through and miserable. Yes, Columba, thank God, was miserable. That was reassuring, at least! However, he fell and, having put his right hand out to stop his fall, his wrist audibly snapped! He cried out in agony, dancing around at the edge of the field, moaning and wailing. Cruel though this may seem, I was even more reassured. So Columba can make a fuss too....! I did my best to wrap his wrist with a cloth I use to keep my Matthew's Gospel dry! All the way to the village, he was nothing short of panicing. 'My hand has come away from my arm...I am never again going to be able to use it.' When we sat down by a gorgeous blazing fire, he calmed down as I helped him drink some soup and eat some fresh bread. Columba looked at me like a child... 'How, my good friend, am I going to understand Christ's pain when I can't come to terms with this?' I shrugged my shoulders. He shouted his question again... His question was not rhetorical, he was beseeching me to answer. A deep question from Columba! Humility indeed.

Matthew 22:41-46….
Some first century Jews held that Messiah would be David’s son. However, if Messiah is greater than David, there is a difficulty. So Christ is both son and Lord… In our western way of thinking we assume here some sort of hierarchy. Jesus plays with this. To be son is to be in God and to be Lord is to be a slave! Thus Jesus puts a question mark over all assumptions about power and indeed about human relationships.

Let Me be your servant that you, being in God, may serve

Notice the importance of questions in the Gospels. In a strange way, they reveal the power of Jesus. Normally when questions are asked they demonstrate that one person is dependent on another to answer. So asking a question gives away power. Questions then reveal humility. That is precisely where the ‘power’ of Christ is: service. So the focus of spirituality is in the inner desire to know, to grow in order to move outwards to serve. You may have a question for someone today. What lies at the heart of that question? In your silence enter that question then use the sentence. What is the real question in your heart that you want to put to God?

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 110

2008-03-18T18:52:00.002Z

Yesterday was a difficult day. I was feeling depressed and tired. Matthew's Gospel had been with me for all this time and I felt I had come to know Christ less and less, let alone be known by Him. Columba had a terrible habit of slapping me in my lower back when I looked low, as if to say: 'Snap out of it!' He was always nauseatingly free of depression. Bad tempered frequently, but not morose, like me! To make matters worse several pilgrims had been gathering for days at various junctions of the pilgrim route to meet with Columba and ask him questions and catch pearls from him. Watching all this, made me hugely jealous! I want that kind of following and admiration, but I daren't tell anyone... This morning, Columba insisted that we rose even earlier than usual to leave the inn. 'Why?' I asked him. 'The worst part of my personality is that I want to hold onto those I have come to love.' 'But all they would want to do is to say thank you!', I added thoughtlessly. 'Precisely!' Columba quipped.

Matthew 22:34-40….
The two greatest commandments have a simplicity to them that disturbs. They are imperative. The whole person must move out to The Otherness of God. In the slip-stream of this movement is the love of neighbour. The development of the personal spiritual life happens as a consequence of this attitude and activity. However, the inner life is where the well-spring of The Spirit is. The Love and Service of the other person is a reflex reaction to the inner life.

Wait still on My Life and My Love that your life may be Christ-like in simplicity and service

In your meditation, it is important to remember a simple process. You move in, in order to move out. That is why that pattern must be explicit in Christian Liturgy. The Eucharist is a process of moving in to offer 'ourselves' (the community of faith... the 'Body'), then to receive the sacrament, the active sign of God, in order to move out to give. That is why all prayer is Eucharistic, sacramental. In meditation, 'we' move into pray in silence in order to offer our 'lives' in Love to God, with all your distractions, doubts, hope and emptiness. We then move out, while still in meditation. Otherwise the meditation bears little or no relationship to living.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 109

2008-03-12T20:57:00.003Z

[As you can see, I am going to get nowhere near the conclusion of St Matthew's Gospel in time for Easter. Well... I justify myself by suggesting that I, for one, can only see the resurrection through the prism of the crucifixion... Anyway to all your bloggers out there, I hope your postings and receivings are strength-giving and encouraging for you during this Holy season.]

Two ponies looked rather doleful at the edge of a field we passed earlier. This was not surprising, as the wind was almost horizontal and the snow seemed to cut into everything. Columba climbed the wall, gave them some feed which he had gathered by scrabbling around beneath the snow cover. He was speaking to them and consoling them, gathering broken branches to form a wind-break... That evening at the inn, Columba winced as he listened to the acid gossip of two men. He stood up and held his cloak in front of the men, in effect hiding them from the guests in the inn. 'What are you doing?', I asked. 'I am protecting the guests from the storm from these men's mouths.' Mmmm. I laughed and then remembered my own inclination to undermine!

Matthew 22:23-33….
Most have had the experience of coming across an argument that will win us a debate. Either we will win admiration or we will have trapped our opponent. The motivation is to raise the status of our ego and reduce the other’s. Admitting to the desire to undermine someone of whom we are jealous or afraid is hard. The Sadducees desire to trap Jesus is one with which we can identify all too painfully. Every circumstance becomes a creative opportunity for Jesus. So he speaks of ‘now’ – the living. This is the moment of God. While we argue about what we do and do not believe, which is more about hubris, we miss the opportunity to perceive of God’s desire for this moment.

I would receive Your Grace to listen to others as Your Living Presence in the present moment.

Establish silence with the use of the sentence, remembering that one of the ways of describing meditation is ‘Listening to God’. This listening then becomes more and more an attitude that you will have towards others in your daily life. Silence is not the same as the absence of noise or the refusal to speak or engage. The Carthuisians have that lovely phrase: 'We speak in silences'. Further, there are some to whom you will probably find it hard to listen. Maybe you would, in your heart of hearts, like to undermine that person to inflate or protect your own ego. See that person in your imagination and ask for the gift of listening. Ask also to be freed from the desire to undermine. What happens is the gradually you will see what is true in that person because you are being true to yourself. The desire for ego-inflation becomes redundant.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 108

2008-03-09T20:41:00.003Z

A priest joined us on a relatively easy part of our walking. He had that look on his face which I always leaves me guessing. Was he arrogant or fearful. After all, arrogance is often a posture adopted by the fearful as an attempt not to have the fear exposed. Columba was talking with this priest for hours on end. What struck me was that most of te time Columba asked the priest a question, he seemed to have an answer. When the priest asked Columba a question, frequently Columba's response was of not knowing or even uncertainty.

Matthew 22:15-22….
Two groups which represent religion and local politics feel threatened by Jesus. So they hoped by a pincer movement to trap Jesus – either for blasphemy (Caesar is divine – therefore a direct challenge to Jewish theology) or for incitement to dissidence (Caesar is not divine – against the political status quo). His neat reply is almost like a Zen conundrum (koan). The Kingdom of God is breaking in but it is also not here. All religion falls into the trap of either being over-identified with political power and norms or putting itself beyond them. The motivation for both can be disturbingly similar. The way of Christ demands simplicity. However, true simplicity is delicate and demands a refined balance.

Let the Way of Your Truth deepen my awareness of Your Life in all things.

By disidentifying yourself from the drive for power over others and by refining the spiritual antennae of awareness, you can remain free to live and work in the middle of human structures, and so bring a simple prophetic insight of detachment, by the way you are. This demands great discipline. That is why you are asked to spend time regularly in prayer – by dropping down into your inner life. That refined balance is achieved by the Spirit of Christ that then has a consequent affect in your outer life.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles.

Matthew under the arm 107

2008-03-01T11:28:00.003Z

Several weeks ago, Columba and I stopped by a rather half-hearted fountain in the middle of this admittedly picturesque little village. I pulled out from my bag some bread and broke some for Columba. He produced some rather pathetic looking tomatoes and an apple from his pockets which he shared with me. Next to us, two men and a women were having an animated discussion about someone else in the village. The absent subject of the conversation was having his personality torn to shreds, which is always the danger of gossip, of course. Columba stopped munching and looked at me, horrified. He turned to the group and said, 'Move on from your self-destruction'. They stopped and looked puzzled. Later he said to me that at least their puzzlement stopped their destructive conversation. 'As for you', he raised his voice to me, 'You were enjoying their gossip'. I was. We reached a crossroads and turned left. As I turned left, I broke into tears. Columba laughed and gave me some ginger from his little paper bag. 'Be ready on all occasions for the presence, the suffering, the death and the resurrection of Jesus', he added with a wink.

Matthew 22:1-14….
The ones who are at the crossroads are at least prepared to go in whichever direction they are called. They are waiting. But the waiting to which Christ alludes must include a personal readiness: a waiting on God. So we are summoned to be at the crossroads and to have all our affairs in order – the wedding garment. The Gospels writers assumed that readers would be familiar with the Kingdom of God being like a banquet, a wedding, a party. After all, the best parties are about relationships. Beautifully cooked food and prepared tables are a sign of love for the guests. Good parties and eating together are also a sign of a group ready to move on in their relationship. Once again the Kingdom of God is not seen as a place but as a process, a journey. Experience shows that the best parties take place on pilgrimages!

In stillness, let your heart and mind be aware of my call to follow My Way

In this exercise, if you can, go out for a brief walk with your bible. Notice the simple activities of how you prepare for this walk. Begin by noticing the environment of your walk: the weather, the street, path or pavement, the buildings, the natural world around you. Smell, look, feel. Stop for a few moments (in a safe and, if possible, inconspicuous place!) and read this passage twice. Then as you continue, recall the parable. Return to your place of prayer and use the sentence to deepen your awareness to Christ’s vocation and the state of your personal readiness.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 106

2008-02-29T08:19:00.003Z

[The numbering of the postings have gone slightly awry. Apologies. There were two 104s! Will this Pilgrimage end by Easter? Mmmmm?]

At the bottom of my bag, I have a treasure. It is a little book. Oh yes! I do carry a little copy of St Matthew's Gospel 'under the arm', as it were. But this little book is a hand-written collection of beautiful poetry. Unfortunately, after a solid day's rain, my bag and its content were soaked through. However, my little book was wrapped in several layers of paper to protect. Columba noticed, as I was putting the contents of my bag out to dry by the fire in our lodgings, that I was lovingly clutching to my chest the little book. 'I haven't seen that before.' Proudly, I showed him the book and its poetry. He asked to look at it for a while. In fact he took it to his bunk with him. The following day, I had forgotten about the little book. The rain continued. As we stopped in the ruins of an old dwelling to shelter from the continuing rain, I asked for my little book. Columba reached into his bag and, of course, it was soaked through. I was furious. 'Don't worry', said Columba 'I know all the poems by heart. I will write out a new one for you.' He must have spent all night learning them 'by heart'... But the book is precious....

Matthew 21:33-45….
The pull towards owning is deeply sunk into the human psyche. This comes about because we have identified with it. The most dangerous aspect of this phenomenon is in religious groups. We say: ‘My Church, ‘My Belief’, ‘My beliefs’ or we say ‘Our…’. Not suprisingly, it is also an acid that eats away at the inside of Christendom, to such an extent that groups stake out their territory, which then must be defended. Christ stands outside those boundaries and weeps. Once the possessive pronoun is used it immediately sets us off against ‘your…’ ‘their….’ Etc. Fear of our own demise or alienation – worse still- being forgotten leads to a hunt for significance that might placate our fear. Christ is the one who offers freedom from the possessive pronoun, but we get rid of him because we have no intention of being free – really free.

That your heart may be still and aware of My Freedom

There is a helpful exercise known as ‘Disidentification’. Begin with silence as usual and use the sentence for a good stretch of time. Then look at the things, issues and people to which you feel attached. They are not yours. They are not anybody’s. They may be vitally important parts of you. Use the parable to deepen your imagination. Remember that it points to the simplicity of cooperating with all around you to enrich it for its own sake, not for yours. Earlier in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus taught about poverty of spirit. It may be clearer now what it means. Letting go of your feelings of possessiveness is hard, for some, very hard. Renunciation is not the demand here. It is freedom. Strangely, you will find that you enjoy what thing and people you are given to care for but are not yours.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 104

2008-02-25T16:33:00.004Z

I had an accident on the pathway two days ago. There I was looking at the racing clouds in the sky, when I tripped on a rock and fell flat on my face into, what I can only describe, as substances left behind by a passing herd of cattle! Oh well! Two pilgrims caught up with me and helped me clean up my bleeding knee. On asking them about their background, they made it clear that they were not 'believers' and were only intrigued by the process of pilgrimage as a human endeavour.
Over a hot plate of soup that evening, I said to Columba that I was somewhat taken aback that those who have little or no belief should be on the pilgrimage. Columba looked cross and said nothing to begin with. But then the surprise....! 'God bless them for their honesty and their love and care of you. Ubi caritas.....!' I then asked rather weakly, 'Well. What's the point of beliving then?' Columba smiled and I winced, 'Your leg is healing!'

Matthew 21:28-32.
Perhaps it is worth repeating that parables make one point only. The unlikely ones, for 'religious' people, by what they do and say appear to refuse the supposed benefits of religion, are the ones who are accepted. We would do well to be careful about our attitudes not only to people of different faiths, but to those who refuse to have anything to do with 'religion'. Maybe they have the word of God for us! Given the history of certain kinds of religious 'righteousness' in this and the last century, it does not take much to imply exclusion which in extreme circumstances can lead to to ethnic cleansing. Christianity is not about security for Christians, but it is about insecurity for the love of the alienated.

Open your heart to My Wisdom that sees My Truth in all

The desire for affirmation is often greater than the desire to do a requested job. It takes some courage to say 'no' because it may cause criticism and rejection. It may need to be done for its own sake. The ones who actually 'do' the job are often the 'outsiders' because they have less to lose. They probably know that they are not going to be accepted anyway. In your prayer imagine or remember a caring person you know but who will have nothing to do with belief or religion, or who belongs to a different culture than you. Then look for what is creative in them. You will see that what they do or don't believe is less significant. What they are and do speak of is love and ordinary kindness. Not a bad desire for meditation.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 104

2008-02-18T20:55:00.002Z

'What is in your mind today?', Columba asked looking piercingly through my eyes. 'Oh. I have just been remembering my Mother,' I replied soulfully. 'What was she like?' 'Towards the end of her life, she was disturbed and even angry...about anything, particularly about me.' Columba's questions went on, until he looked into the distance in silence and asked. 'Would you help me with understanding and relating to my Mother?' Columba's questions were as much a revelation of his authority as of his humility. How much people reveal fear in themselves when they feel they have too much to lose to ask questions.

Matthew 21:23-27….

Jesus normal mode was as teacher. I have a tendency to claim that I like being educated. However, I suspect the education I like is the education I want or feel comfortable with. Education can be much more than that: an increase in my understanding of myself. Jesus' authority was right in the heart of what education is about. He recognised a hunger and so he fed it. However, he also engaged with ambiguity, irony, parable and metaphor as a means of educating those who lareglt didn't want to 'hear'.
When authority becomes an issue between people it is becomes a possession: who has power and who has not. An institution that becomes afraid of losing control over people becomes obsessed with authority, particularly those who have status within that institution. Education, the drawing out of that which is within us and is potnentially creative, dies in these circumstances. Jesus refuses to get drawn into a discussion that would become competitive and negative, like most discussions!

Let your heart experience My wisdom that you may live in My Light

The verb ‘to discuss' comes from a Latin word meaning 'to tear apart'. Jesus was not about to have an interesting debate with the chief priests. A discussion on the whole is about the airing of prejudices, the desire to win and persuade. Jesus’ question was an attempt to listen to the fears of the chief priests. Listening is the key. In a group that you are in, try to listen to each other and not turn your group work into a discussion. Listening involves simply reflecting verbally on what you heard someone say. In the silence, reflect on conversations in groups that you have had and notice your responses in that group. Remain for a while in the silence and just be content with listening to your own life and breathing.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 103

2008-02-10T19:45:00.000Z

[I can't help noticing that the current disturbing treatment of +Rowan our Archbishop, at least for me, has echoes from in the time of Christ's Passion. The Roman 'Law' was held supreme in Palestine and yet it clashed with Jewish Law. Christ dared to stand in the middle of that clash and pose questions.... Where did that lead....? Or for that matter look at the way St Paul wrestled in his letter to the Romans with Law and Grace. I thank God for the depth of +Rowan's prayer and his presence which is his leadership. He or she who has eyes or ears......... ]

It was a very cold day yesterday. Columba and I found it particularly hard to keep going. Further the landscape was tedious, not helped by the low lying mist. We came across a crossing of paths and felt uncertain as to which direction to take. Behind a stone wall, there was an old evergreen tree, the shape of which was distinctly influenced by the prevailing winds, and yet it was still there and still green. Columba seemed to be looking at the tree for an inordinate time. I was getting cold. So I tapped him on the shoulder. He didn't turn, but fell to his knees in prayer before the tree. 'Can't you see?', he almost snapped at me, 'We are being invited not simply to read about the Passion. This tree is speaking: "Be the Passion!"

Matthew 21:18-22….
The word vandalism initially comes to mind. However, understanding this story is difficult, given the years and the consequent difference in cultural assumptions. Authority over nature itself was presumably regarded as a mark of divinity. Although allegorical interpretation is not regarded as highly as it once was, the fig tree that bears no fruit might be paralleled with the tree (the cross) that did bear the fruit of Redemption, particularly as the story is placed just before the Passion. The heart of the story is faith and prayer. The starkness of the story illustrates the utter centrality of God in and over all things.

That in your stillness you may Receive My Gift of Faith and have My Grace to live it

In the Middle and Far Eastern religious cultures, the story of God is portrayed in myth. Myth is truth told ‘at a tangent’. If you were invited to tell a group about faith and prayer, as you understand it, perhaps you would use story and myth. In the stillness begin with the sentence; tell a brief story that comes from you about the centrality of faith and prayer for you. Perhaps afterwards, you may want to write it down. Then with a friend or spiritual director tease out how you live out the faith given you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 102

2008-02-04T21:15:00.000Z

[So sorry... I've been away so much recently...I must learn to do this blog on my little PDA...!]

An old lady in this village, sold medicines that some people found helpful. Columba had an infected heel as a result of a huge bluster, which he had not looked after properly, silly man! So we stood in the queue to see the esteemed lady. There in front of us was anargument. Three men were leaning across the counter and wagging their fingers at the old lady, telling her that she ought to sell their potions as hers were old fashioned and probably useless. What they didn't know is that the old lady listened to people, almost as if the medicines she gave out (freely!) were beside the point. Columba couldn't resist it any longer. He went to the front of the queue, got hold of three men and asked them to leave. No he didn't ask...he shouted 'Out!' The old lady looked at Columba's heel. She sucked her teeth and looked at him. 'I know. I know.' Columba sighed.

Matthew 21:12-17….
This act of assertiveness, if not aggression, challenges the perception of Jesus as emotionally controlled. But high-jacking people, no matter how surreptitiously, for the sale of goods or for their adherence misses the point. Sacred places are for prayer and not for canvassing, persuasion or indeed proselytism for that matter. Proselytism can so often be a mask for the execution of power based on fear. The one who prays comes in to a church in order to offer him or herself, not to become an object of marketing. Although Sacred Places must be attractive trough the reflective arts and architecture, they are not entertainment centres attracting custom. Children shouting is not often encouraged in sacred places. Jesus encourages it because it is the simple and direct offering of their lives.

Let the sacredness of place and of time be a focus of your pilgrimage into My Holiness

Sacred places are not always easy to find. Often they are beset with the need for survival or become centres of business. But that is also true of your inner life. In your imagination, invite Jesus to enter your life and kick over a few bits of ‘furniture’ (or even 'people'!) that clutter your soul. Perhaps he might throw out of your heart the grasping desires that create distraction and even pain. Your heart is a sacred space. Use the sentence so that Christ can reclaim it for the holiness of your pilgrimage.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 101

2008-01-25T22:43:00.000Z

I spoke to Columba this evening about this last phase of our pilgrimage. He simply held his hand up and continued to set very still and silent. But he did so in such a way that I wasn't excluded from his silence. It was as if I was invited in to 'another' pilgrimage. His silence was, as it were, laying plams down 'on the road' for me to process into the silence with him. So I sat and, even for me, was still. When he finished about half an hour later, I asked him what may same a rather silly question. 'Well what now?' 'Say 'Hosanna!...silently!' Two pilgrimages as one.....

Matthew 21:1-11….
Three images of insignificance are paradoxically striking. One is Jesus’ procession on donkeys. The second is the contrast between insignificant Nazareth and self-conscious Jerusalem. The third is the branches as a carpet. These do not point to lack of preparation or cynicism. The crowds suggest that these symbols are important. In retrospect, we notice now the natural ‘cross’ on a donkey’s back. A week later, the ‘hosannas’ would sound differently. But the prophetic challenging by symbols of religious power, the ecclesiastical authorities, must not be missed.

I would have my attitudes and actions transfigured by Your Humility and Strength

By establishing stillness, even if it is only for a few moments, you have experienced a little humility, because you have to let so many perceptions of yourself go. Contemplative Prayer is, perhaps, the most honest' act' you will 'perform'. There are no rewards, there are no 'achievements'...there's just you and God, and even God is imperceivable. It is an act of love and self-giving that takes the risk of ...nothingness. It is without power. It is charged with hope, however. Spend time thinking of circumstances where power is exercised against the challenge of love. Then become aware of ways in which you perhaps collude with the engines of power. Perhaps there are ways in which you can symbolise the way of humility and its strength. Do not force it. Allow the sentence to build up attention in you and the action to arise out of it will surface.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 100

2008-01-22T18:32:00.000Z

[Well. Posting 100! If you are still out there...thank you for sharing in the pilgrimage, no matter how far ahead, behind, in the bushes, behind the wall...etc... you may be. I know this is a little early for the 'moving towards the Passion'. My guess is that it will take us into Lent and perhaps to Holy week etc... In any case, the Passion, as with the Nativity, is with us all the time...]

The last few days have been great! We've had a long rest. Somehow, I found that with his guidance throughout the pilgrimage so far, I have kept the habit of daily contemplative silence with the Gospel even on the 'days off'. That silence, that stillness has become part of me. Of course, it can be hard. The time can be about falling asleep! It can feel like a waste of time. Occasionally it feels exciting and feeding. But the habit now is ingrained. Today we move into the final and long stage of our pilgrimage. When I woke this morning in a bunk at 5.30am (thanks to Columba), from across the room came the cheery question: 'Are you ready?' 'No', I replied in a slightly irritated fashion, given the time. 'Good', said Columba. 'Do you want to be ready?' 'Mmmm? Don't know...for what?' 'For following the Way....' 'By the way', I added, as I put my feet on the cold wooden floor, 'Where are we aiming for...' 'The door', he replied helpfully.

Matthew 21:1-11

Messiah enters Jerusalem. The two principle features of this passage are the attention to detail and the acute connection to the Hebrew Scriptures. The cloaks coming off the backs of the disciples symbolise their desire to participate in The Way. [You might add what I like as a rather appealing image - they were, so to speak, rolling their sleaves up!] The branches symbolise the participation of nature in the Way. The fulfilment of the prophecy concerning a donkey and a colt brings into the present moment, with the other symbols, the role of the followers of The Way to prepare carefully each step as an act of natural obedience to God. The Way is that of death and resurrection being the marks of the community that prepares for the coming of the Kingdom. So with the 'big picture' in mind and heart, the preparation for it is simple but precise.

I would respond now to prepare Thy Way of Love in Thy Life, Thy Death and Thy Resurrection

There is in front of you and the Christian Community to which you belong the demand to work with Christ for the Kingdom of God. Spend time becoming clear about your role and responsibility in that work. Do not force plans and programmes into your heart. Allow your imagination to have the delightful freedom to 'picture' such a Kingdom in your context, no matter how outlandish it may initially seem. What is your role in the preparation and in the obedience to The Way towards God's Kingdom as it is to be in your context? What do you imagine will be the cost to you and your community? Take careful note of your expereince of this prayer, as part of the careful preparation.

+Martin
Argyll and he Isles

Matthew under the arm 99

2008-01-12T16:30:00.000Z

Two men were staring into a field, as we passed them yesterday. Columba was fascinated. 'What are you looking at...?' There was a deep sigh from one of them. 'Look at the cattle. Wonderful. beautiful condition, great pasture... They must produce superb milk.' 'What is that to you?', asked Columba rather cheekily. 'Well, you should see my cattle', said the other. 'Dreadful condition... poor pasture and I don't make enough money to feed them or winter them properly.' Columba paused for a few moments then asked: 'What do you want?' There was nervous laughter between the two envious men. 'Come on!' pressed Columba. 'Don't know really...!' 'Yes, you do!', Columba said with a wry smile. 'You want these cattle.' 'No, No, No.....' came the rather weak denial. 'Well, if you don't want them, do you wish that this farmer had cattle in the same condition as yours' . They were angry now, not suprisingly. I was embarrassed and felt that an ugly scene was ensuing. 'Well, alright. Yes, we do want their cattle. But we can't have them, can we?' 'Yes, you can', replied Columba. 'Go and learn how these cattle are reared and looked after. Then you will have cattle like them. And stop complaining.....' I was even more embarrassed. 'By the way,' added Columba. 'These cattle are not the possession of this farmer. Maybe what you really want is a superior farming image for yourself, not the cattle at all'. I wandered off thinking to myself that Columba can be pompous! [I'm away for a few days break from Tuesday next week... ]

Matthew 20:29-34….
The crowd feels that Jesus is its property. ‘Our’ Jesus must not be interrupted by ‘you’, even when there is some urgent request for help from someone not part of the crowd. Perhaps, they cry for pity because it feels to them that they are inwardly blind as well. They do not want to articulate their real desire in front of the crowd of followers, in case they might be ridiculed. Jesus insists that they name exactly what they want. They must take responsibility for what they desire. We avoid that because we have a self-image that we want to protect. To name what we want seems either aggressive or demeaning and might lead to rejection.

Open your heart and mind that you may trust Me with your desires

In some cultures, their language does not have possessive pronouns, like ‘mine’, ‘ours’, ‘yours’…. In English, it is not possible to do so without losing meaning. But Jesus cannot be owned. He is not the property of Christendom. Jesus comes to me to stimulate me to take responsibility for all that I am, including what I desire. Use the sentence for a good stretch of time and then express clearly and simply what it is you desire. Notice your feelings as you name them. Be simple, direct and don’t try to be too sensible! Then ask Jesus…!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 98

2008-01-07T19:49:00.000Z

Altogether it was a sad and disturbing experience. Columba and I had been walking from first light. The sky was heavy and grey-dark - almost threatening. We had had with us, for several days, a young man who had just joined the pilgrimage. He had felt so proud that he had walked all day with us. On his second day, he was 'blissfully' happy that he had learnt so much about Christ and so much about prayer and so much about loving action. Yesterday morning, As we were leaving our hostel, an old woman who had been sleeping rough rushed up to the young man and asked for some money. He refused. 'Well, would you take me into the hostel and buy a little bread and hot milk for me?' His reply? 'Look - not now! I am on a pilgrimage. I am into my stride now and must press on to my next stage, otherwise I will lose momentum and interest in the pilgrimage.' He strode off. Columba took the old lady into the hostel and bought her bread and hot milk. By the time Columba finished listening to the old lady's life-story it was the afternoon. I looked up the the empty road and felt sad for the 'not now' of the young man...

Matthew 20:24-28….
In this ‘against the grain’ passage, Jesus seems to demand the impossible, at least psychologically. Our images of greatness are turned on their heads. We assume that by being a servant, we will at best be used, but mostly ignored. Despite the fact that most who have become great do not appear to enjoy their greatness, most are addicted to it. In a sense, Jesus is freeing us from addiction or what is called ‘status anxiety’. Greatness begins by being aware of the insatiable desire for significance and then working to find that significance in others, which is Christ.

My Strength and My Life are discovered within you through service

Most of your discontent comes from fear. Fear, in turn, is based on lack of affirmation or being rejected. It is the circumstance of the majority of the world’s population. Spend some time in your meditation simply observing your own discontent. Feel it, but do not judge yourself or anyone else. You will notice that it is hard to put away, it is so basic to your experience of life. For some, it will be more pronounced than others: raising, perhaps, disturbing feelings and memories. Allow Christ’s own self-knowledge and acceptance to enter into you deeply as you meditate with this sentence. As you leave your silence, be of some service to someone: a letter, a phone call, an email, a visit… pray for that person. Do it soon! In fact, do it now!...you never know....

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 97

2008-01-04T20:14:00.000Z

[Forgive me... I have been away from my blog for too long. I wish I could give the excuse that I had the seasonal bug.... but as the exxistentialists say: 'No excuses!'.... So I am wondering whether anyone is still out there!]

Oh dear! Oh dear! Very embarrassing. A woman religious appeared outside the little stone chapel this morning, just as Columba and I were going into to say together the Morning Office [So beautiful at this time of year with those wonderful psalms and readings focusing on fulfilment and hope.... Christian spirituality at this time of year always makes me want to peep around every corner as if Christ might appear in the most unlikely circumstances. Maybe he has and I haven't noticed!]. Anyway, the woman didn't (luckily) know who Columba was. She had met me two days before after a big celebration when, I must confess, I had more to eat and drink than was good for me! 'So here you are about to say your prayers with your strange friend and your life-style bears no comparison to what your lips say'. I was cross and eased up to her with clenched teeth, only to be pulled back by Columba. 'I suppose,' she added with one of those snooty smiles full of condemnation, 'You are another one who says one thing and does another'. I was just about to reveal to her who Columba was when he pulled me back. He smiled at her and simply said,' Why don't you come in and join us?' 'Join you? I will meditate in the silence of clean air! You have let Christ down'. 'You're right', said Columba,' So why don't you come and pray with us and help us be stronger before God....? We could do with your strength, perhaps.' I scowled at Columba. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.... Infuriating man!

Matthew 20:17-23….
Denial of reality is a common experience, particularly when an event may effect us deeply. This third prophecy of Jesus execution is matched by Peter’s three denials a little later. Reality is frequently too acidic for the digestion to cope with. There is also the naivety that Jesus and His Kingdom of God is some place, some utopian landscape where the followers will realise power and, frankly, what amounts to egotistical admiration. Religion is a magnificent playground for the ego, and particularly the frightened one and the one that seeks for power under the mark of spiritual righteousness or, worse still, false humility. To be fair, however, a mother naturally has hopes for her son who has followed Jesus faithfully. We are to face the reality that for all who follow Christ, the Kingdom of God is more of a process, a ‘Kingdoming’. ‘Taking up your cross’ in some form is a prerequisite to understanding the nature of God’s love which is evolving all the time. Following Jesus is about verbs, and they cost dearly.

Wait on My Light and My Truth, and be awake to their development within you

I want recognition. I want to be noticed. And so do you! Even the more content among us. Be aware of that desire and strangely it has power over you. Jesus is modelling this process by gently heightening the awareness of his forthcoming suffering, in which the disciples, all of them will share. Move back into a memory of an experience when you felt most abandoned; indeed when you have suffered most. Do not stay in those memories long. Just acknowledge them. Now remember them in detail and imagine Jesus there in the stories. Picture what he does or says. Then remain with Him and not the memory in the silence using the sentence.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 96

2007-12-20T15:57:00.000Z

[I am aware that it must seem strange to have arrived at a point in the Matthew pilgrimage leading up to the Passion, when in fact we are a matter of days from Christmas. Simply remember that the 'marks' of the Passion are already on Mary and the Christ-child....]

Late yesterday afternoon, Columba and I had to take shelter in a forest from a sudden downpour of rain. To make matters worse, we were both starving. Luckily the trees were closely packed together that by sitting under the firs, we could have some protection. However, we were already soaked through and, of course, getting tired and cold. Columba started to shiver. His circulation was poor, that I knew. I tried to warm him by rubbing his hands, his arms and his feet. Then came thunder and lightning. Being under elderly trees was not advisable. So we battled on against the wind and rain. Eventually, we came across a long track to small farm house. We banged on the door, having seen a light inside. A man came to the door and peered out. Without saying a word, he showed us into the barn, where there was straw. Later he returned with hot soup and bread. Never has any food tasted so wonderful. We tried to get the old man to talk. He remained silent. This afternoon a pilgrim who had shared the barn with us, told us that in the early morning the old man was found dead by his front door. Were we touched by the Kingdom? Columba simply added, 'Act out of Love now!'

Matthew 20:1-16….
So what seems a logical hierarchy in heaven is turned on its head: the last – first. Nor is there any suggestion that the Kingdom is egalitarian. There is no political or moral application of this story whatever. It is about the undermining of assumptions. Deserving, exemplary lives are not necessarily about God and the ‘kingdom’. We can still use our high morality as subtle (and not so subtle) means of control over others. Jesus who is the Son of God, we might have expected to be the centre of attention, as he would soon become ‘king’ on a donkey in a procession. But that all came to nothing. He became the last and the least within days. This story, then, prepares us for the Passion.

Through the simplifying of my attention, I would become aware Your Humility in those who are powerless

The Kingdom of Heaven is an image that you may find difficult. It is a not a place set in time somewhere other than here and now. And yet, there is a taste of the Kingdom in you and your experience that is drawing you towards some fulfilment. That fulfilment has little to do with achievement or control – certainly over others. It is beyond life and death. So in the silence, allow images of that ‘Kingdom’ to surface. Write them down or even draw them, if that helps. If the ‘kingdom' is about the ‘last’, recall the least or the last you have encountered recently and their circumstances. Maybe you have experienced being the last...? Using the sentence, imagine Christ relating to them, (to you!) ...notice what what he says and what he does. Imagination it may simply be, but it may be significant for your response.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 95

2007-12-15T17:05:00.000Z

In the afternoon, Columba and I were walking rather slowly. He had been quiet for over an hour, obviously thinking deeply about something. Eventually he asked, 'Did you notice...? That man who came into the hostel with us last night, kept asking me questions...'
'So? He was so boring. Asking you about the meaning of evil; whether strong belief is essential..... You didn't really answer him convincingly.'
'Because there aren't convincing answers to these questions.'
'Well. Why were you are thinking about him so much.'
'Because his questions weren't his real questions.... He was asking something that he felt he couldn't ask directly.....'

Matthew 19:27-30….
The edgy question: ‘What’s in it for me?’ is important. Perhaps, Jesus wouldn't have had any disciples unless they felt that there was something in it for them: some wanting recognition in the face of anonymity; some wanting power in the coming of the new kingdom… These questions, asked in a thousand different ways, are in effect based on basic questions that are sometimes to hard for us to ask: ‘Am I going to be affirmed?’ or ‘Do you love me?’ Any organisation, including a Christian one, cannot function effectively unless there is something ‘in it for those who participate’. The Kingdom is marked by the gifts of affirmation and love. Jesus recognised the importance of that. His execution was all the more devastating for him as few stayed with him. Perhaps there was nothing in it for them after all!

That I may be still and receive Your Acceptance, Your Love and Your Hope

No matter how busy you may or may not be (and remember the uncomfortable fact is you may have chosen to be busy!), look at your activities recently and be aware of the ways you have asked for affirmation no matter how indirectly, materially or emotionally. What do you feel about that seeking? Then take those circumstances into silence and imagine yourself once again seeking that ‘reward’. Jesus does not condemn the seeking. Now turn to Jesus, and imagine you are wanting the same from Him now…. Notice what happens and use the sentence to deepen your desire.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 94

2007-12-10T10:02:00.000Z

It was a 'fast' day yesterday. I have been trying on each of these days throughout the pilgrimage not to eat too much; steering clear of the local wines and even going without a meal, which is quite hard on a strenuous pilgrimage. Columba sat outside on the wall on a farmyard munching away at a huge slice of bread and some local cheese. In his other hand, he had a huge mug of hot soup. I approached him (with nothing in my hands, of course) and just stared. There was a mixture of pride in the fact that I had got through until 4.00pm with only some water and a rather elderly apple. Columba stopped still in mid-munch. He had that dreadful habit of speaking with his mouth full, which caused mangled crumbs and cheese to spray! 'What are looking at me like that for?' ....I could just make out his meaning. 'This is a fast day', I said in a low meaningful voice. 'Do you feel better?' he asked.

Matthew 19:23-26….
Jesus begins by saying that it is hard for the rich to enter the Kingdom and concludes by suggesting that it is impossible. The initiative for entry into the Kingdom is God's. So the rich are not alone. A camel going through the eye of needle, even if ‘the eye of the needle’ refers to a tiny gate in the walls of a city, would seem to inhibit anyone including the disciples. There is the common assumption that if you try hard enough and get your spirituality ‘right’, then you’re ‘in’. Even extreme asceticism becomes another rich possession! [The intractable disease of the lust for being right!] The question is: how do anyone become spiritual without turning it into another project that can be measured in terms of success or failure? It is the wistful freedom that comes from a trusting attitude in God that draws you into His love.

Enter into My Light and My Life and grow in trust of my gift of freedom

Learning about the spiritual life can even be useful, but the basis of it is simply you and God in all your experiences whatever they are and with whoever. Silence and stillness do bring an attentiveness. However, the perplexing truth is that the experience of God is there for the most unlikely people in the most unlikely set of circumstances. Any exclusive spirituality goes against the grain of the inclusiveness of God. It is worthwhile speaking to a friend who is experienced in the spiritual life (not an expert! In fact, if you come across one, run!) to check out how possessive you are about your spirituality! The most encumbered and, perhaps, dangerous person spiritually, is the one who gains spiritual acumen as some sort of expertise.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 93

2007-12-05T22:42:00.000Z

For weeks and weeks now, I have been following this man Columba. Yes, I admit I am prone to sycophancy. The danger of that as a disease is that can lead to envy, and worse: jealousy...that brooding on someone, waiting on them to fail, willing them to fail...marks of my own insecurity. Of course, I had seen, on this pilgrimage, many moments of Columba's - yes - arrogance. At times, he seems to focused on the way of God, that there is a slight callousness there. Despite those, I have always envied the inner clarity and centredness. But there he was today... weeping. He had hoped I hadn't noticed. When we arrived at our accommodation, he went straight to his bunk and asked me to leave. He peeped through the slightly ajar door, having pretended to go downstairs for something to eat. 'God, I am pretending. I am pretending that I have knowledge of your love.... So many ask for my advice...and I pretend.' Jealousy and envy left me at that moment, but they were replaced by awe at the humanity.... severe holiness.

Matthew 19:16-22….
‘Perfection’ and ‘goodness’ are only possible in God. God, as Simone Weil puts it, is The Absolute Good. In saying that, though, what have we said? Greek philosophy, so influential on Christianity, saw perfection and goodness as qualities of the soul that needed to be perfected by spiritual endeavour and thought. Jesus is simply saying that perfection and goodness are impossible. In which case, following Jesus is also impossible. After all, the disciples of Jesus were hardly good, let alone perfect. So Jesus engages with the man in a manner that will waken him up to the illusion and, indeed, danger of human perfectibility. He, like us, is left with these questions: ‘Do I find God at the heart of all aspects of my life?’ ‘What are the implications of this finding in how I use my resources?’

I would find Your Light and Your Wisdom at the heart of all things

There is always ‘the never-the-last-wordness’ about things! Psychologically, there has been incalculable damage done by a Christendom that believes that it is possible to be perfect, which suggests a condemnation of those who are not. Conversely, that it is not possible for anyone to be perfect, therefore, we are perpetually subservient to the Grace of God. Both of these have the image of God not only distinct from humanity but separate. Meditation is a resource that helps you to be free of that dualism. A separate God hardly leads to the discovery of love in ‘the other’, least of all in yourself. Let the practice of silence, free you from what you ought and ought not to believe as a Christian. Let yourself be drawn into stillness. Let the sentence bring you into a process of freedom and discovery. For a start, if you are wealthy, you will waken up to the fact that it isn’t yours anyway!

Matthew under the arm 92

2007-11-30T11:48:00.000Z

In the middle of some low trees, swept in one direction by the prevailing wind, was a small building with children chasing hens and being shouted at by a fearsome looking woman. This was a remote village which few pilgrims frequented. Some old folks were gathered round the children as they played. Columba had stopped about 100 yards back. He was crouched down and organising stones on the ground. Eventually, the children noticed and came to watch. ‘Don’t just watch!’ said Columba. ‘Go and get some more stones - and not too small.’ Before long a huge mound grew. Columba said nothing more. But we all could see that there on the ground he was outlining a huge bird. The adults muttered, but the children made the assumption about what kind of bird Columba was creating. They kept asking him, but he didn’t reply. Eventually, Columba stopped and watched the children complete the bird – a dove. One child asked, ‘Is that what you wanted?’ ‘What I wanted?’…… As dusk fell, Columba summoned me to move on. ‘I hope the priest was there,’ said Columba. ‘That’s how worship happens.’

Matthew 19:13-15….
To bring anyone to Jesus is a common activity in the Gospels. The disciples behave almost like personal assistants, even bodyguards – there to protect their ‘VIP’ Jesus’ time and space. Jesus, however, wants to be left with the children alone – without the intrusion of protective adults and their own needs. So he expects them to let go and trust in the way children do themselves. By being with children alone, Jesus can see through adults’ and children’s manipulative behaviour. Acceptance can flower through the simplicity of touch: marks of the Kingdom, that is dawning.

Let the simplicity of stillness and silence, open you to the touch of My Love.

Enter into the silence in the attitude of gentle noticing – your physical sensations, thoughts and feelings. Notice them and let them go. Give a little time to be aware of your breathing: the ‘in’ breath for stillness and silence – the ‘out’ breath for letting go… In a sense, you are being like a child… Allow yourself to be brought to Jesus and to be touched by Him. Who would you bring to Jesus? Imagine the process and that you are being asked by Jesus to leave that person alone with Him.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 91

2007-11-23T19:45:00.000Z

Someone was sitting beside the road resting from the pilgrimage playing a small stringed instrument, rather like a mandolin. What struck me most was not so much his playing which had a poise and gentleness to it, but it was how he prepared. He made sure that he was sitting on the stone wall as still and yet as supple as he could be, before playing. When he finished he didn't look up for appreciation or admiration. He allowed the silence to carry the music through the silence and, as it were, beyond himself. There were about five or six of us spell-bound and in stillness and silence ourselves. After a while, Columba approached me and whispered in my ear: 'Silent music...'

Matthew 19:10-12….
Jesus is not calling for heroism. Christianity has its heroes, but it is not heroism, being dependent on the Grace of God. Faith costs not less than everything. Who can do that? Marriage that is dedicated to loyalty can be heroic, but when it is a sign of the relationship between God and humanity, that is a gift. Jesus sees celibacy as an attitude of single-heartedness: an active sign, a sacrament of the coming Kingdom - availability for sacrificial service. That disciplined single-heartedness is not so much an attitude towards God, but from God to others, including those we love. Our love of anyone can be single-hearted by Grace. Celibacy and single-heartedness are indeed vocations...!

Let My Light and Truth dwell in your heart and in your actions

Single-heartedness comes from a disciplined practice of meditation and, of course, your life-style choices. The simpler the time of meditation is the better. Always begin with physical stillness and noticing your breathing. Refresh your memory of meditative practice from your own study, experience or indeed get in touch with me, if you would like some help. By an increased disciplined approach to single-heartedness in your meditation, then you don’t need a project for your following of Christ. It will happen almost as a habit from the heart of you, which has been trained and gifted in meditation.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 90

2007-11-20T17:47:00.000Z

For the last month of the pilgrimage, I have come across a couple in their fifties who have been near us from time to time as we walked, but Columba and I have never engaged them in conversation. Sometimes they would walk hand in hand and sometimes they would be seen walking separately. They didn't appear to converse much with each other. Just this morning as we stopped for something hot to drink in the village, they came to join us. Columba asked if they were related. 'We are....friends'. 'But you don't seem to say much to each other.' They looked at each other and smiled, as if a whole encyclopaedia was being exchanged between them. 'Love..?' Columba sheepishly enquired. They smiled again. 'Our friendship only exists through love', the man replied. 'And how do you love like that?', I asked rather enviously. 'They looked again at each other... 'Practicing, I suppose', the woman added. 'Practicing what?' Columba asked. 'In our case....? Marriage maybe... No longer any need to define or establish...'

Matthew 19:1-9….
The journey towards to Jerusalem would mark Jesus death, but that death for the early Christian Church was the proximate ‘day’ of the end of all things and the beginning of the new. So not surprisingly, there is an uncompromising tone to this passage. When people know their death is coming, they want to sort out their lives, including their relationships. Matthew not only points towards Jesus death, but the necessary death of all things as a preparation for the Kingdom. So Matthew’s readers are summoned to waken up and sort out difficult and negative relationships. All relationships, no matter how insignificant, have an affect on us and others.

Let me realise Your Love in my service of those You have given me

These verses are not primarily about control and sex. The word ‘adultery’ has a condemnatory feel. That’s not the point, it seems to me. Truth and simplicity are the marks of a lifestyle that is geared towards the Kingdom of God. The committed Christian in the early years had his or her bag packed ready. Nor is this exercise about guilt. The sentence is about creative loving service practiced in truth. What relationships help you to enter something of that dynamic? What relationships are in danger of distracting you from it. In marriage or friendship, in what ways do you compromise truth and commitment within it? It may perhaps.... be less destructive disengaging from a relationship than sticking with it out of the 'muscular' attempt to be 'stick with it'. Christ’s presence recognises and even rejoices in the admission of brokenness.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 89

2007-11-15T16:33:00.000Z

I grumbled to Columba as we sat with our meal in the inn. He had been very cool towards me all day. It's true that the wind was against us for most of the afternoon. Sheepishly I said to him, 'You look ... angry with me.' Anger, he pointed out, is fear expressed in a particular way. 'I heard you speaking disparagingly to someone about how fed up you get with me sometimes.' 'So you feel betrayed by my moaning'. 'Well, yes I do', he said calmly.... Silence prevailed, but a recognition and a courage grew.... Columba smiled again. Two over-sensitive pilgrims. Yes, even Columba.

Matthew 18:23-35….
The early Christian communities had a sense of urgency. Time was short because political circumstances and God’s ‘role’ perceived 'role' in history spelt a drawing together (a judgement) of all things. The Kingdom of God 'breaking in', demanded an ethical life according to the standards of Christ based on a truly awake spirituality. This parable sees the attitude of forgiveness as fundamental, because that is who God is. Not to forgive, no matter how difficult, is to deny God.

Be awake to My Healing Forgiveness within you and practice that gift among others

Be attentive to one person in your imagination about whom you feel resentful. That person perhaps ‘owes’ you something… even an apology, in your view, for the way you have been treated. Allow these feelings to come to the fore in you. Be there with her or him in the presence of Christ as you use this sentence. Then after the silence…What can you do to show that you are keen to restore relationships? Don’t appease, but keep the possibility of communication open. It maybe there is nothing you can do. Allowing the stillness of meditation to heal your resentment, nevertheless, is vitally important.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 88

2007-11-11T15:26:00.000Z

Early this morning, at Columba's insistence (!), I met him by the fountain in the middle of the village. Two others came to join: a woman, I would guess in her fifties who lived in the village and by the look of her, not at all well off. The other was a young man whom we met on the pilgrimage yesterday. He was on his way back! Columba had obviously met them and asked them to come to this little group. I was so cold in the early 5.30am light. However, it was so still, except for the attractive percussive sound of the breeze among the sycamore trees. The young man started by asking for silence. The woman then spoke of her prayer life. Just once I interrupted before Columba put his finger to his lips. She was speaking of feeling physically restless in her prayer. I spoke of my restlessness. Columba simply said to me: 'Listen to Christ in this person.' Then we were silent as each spoke, including me in my turn.... Wonderful moment of gentleness, truth and simplicity! We never saw the man and the woman again. What did Columba share? He spoke of moments of deep anxiety in his prayer. Yes, Columba!

Matthew 18:19-22….
There is a key assumption behind Jesus insight into the essential practice of prayer. If two or three people give time to reflecting on their common circumstances, in each person confidence and perspective is deepened in praying, in ‘begging’ to perceive God’s loving presence in all things. It is out of this practice that forgiveness comes, not so much as a project but as natural response to the love given and received in the group. Because of the support and the inner depth gained by the sustenance that comes from others praying with us, the ‘impossibility of forgiveness’ (70 times 7!) is not the issue. So prayer and forgiveness are the basic practices of small but open groups of Christians. One is the essential resource; the other is the outcome of the way we are in Christ.

That My Prayer within you may be deepened in friendship and practiced in reconciliation

This sentence is best used if it is possible for you to be with a small group (no more than 3 or 4) of those who wish to deepen their praying. It is important to limit the time for the group so that you focus on the task of praying, as distinct from a social gathering. Begin with silence and stillness and help each other with it by radiating your desire for deeper prayer to each other. Then listen carefully, without comment or debate, to the concerns of each person in the group for themselves and others. It’s vitally important not to discuss anyone’s circumstances that are not in the group. Remember the direction of the group is towards the work of reconciliation. Then enter the silence again with depth and expectation.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 87

2007-11-08T18:37:00.000Z

Achilles' tendon problems! So that's us for three days at least. Columba moaned and groaned last night as we arrived at our lodgings. Saints sulk, you know. (Thank God!) But...this morning...he was sitting down in the lobby of this rather smelly house. He was having an animated discussion which helped him forget his pains. A group of teenage boys had come into the village who looked strange and spoke a strange and unrecognisable language. "Mumblers!", is how one man described them. These 'mumblers' wore shabby clothes and stank to high heavens seemingly. In fact, the teenagers were severely hard of hearing. "With all the other smelly pilgrims around", said someone else, "These 'mumblers' are unwelcome". Columba staggered to his feet to look out the window. We were all curious. There, passing the window were the 'mumblers'. "Let's chase them out', said a rough voice. Columba rushed out to join the 'mumblers'. Those inside the lodging shouted at Columba: "What're you doing?" "Mumbling", he replied. 'Oh...and we're listening to each other!'

Matthew 18:15-18....
There is a presence that lies underneath what Jesus is saying. The 'wrong' here implies harm done to the community. Personal ethics are important not for the development of the individual, but for the benefit of the community in which we are set. Some ethical assumptions may need to be challenged and changed within the community. The emergence of the Kingdom may be about painful transformation but not about harming. The distinction is not always clear. Out of fear, we are inclined not to challenge the 'closed system' of some community norms. (Including the Christian church!) The 'Gospel' demand is to have the truthfulness and courage to challenge those within the community who have harmed, undermined its well-being by their self-absorbed activities, self-protectiveness and attitudes based on 'being right'.

May Your Wisdom and Truth lie at the heart of the communities of which I am a part.

First, through a gentle review of yourself, become aware of someone who has had the courage to make you aware of negative attitudes. Recollect the story, the feelings and the consequences. Only by that awareness can you, with detachment, have the gentleness and strength to approach others, concerning their attitudes, through listening and reflection with them. Imagine Jesus with you as you consider prayerfully cirucmstances of conflict in which you may be currently. Be still and use the sentence constantly throughout this reflection.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 86

2007-11-01T19:52:00.000Z

Between his feet, he was making marks on the dust on the path. We had stopped for a drink of water and an apple. I looked closer and it seemed as if there were about 50 or 60 marks he had made on the ground. 'What are they for? Some game?' Columba turned and smiled. (So irritating!) 'Close your eyes. I need your help.' So I did. He then gently and quietly went through names of people carefully. 'Just have the name resonating in your heart as I say them. Radiate love in Christ through the name!' When he had finished, I opened my eyes and Columba had crossed out all the marks. 'Who were they?' 'The people we have met on the pilgrimage, of course.' 'And you remembered all of them?' 'Well, perhaps I got one or two of them wrong.... But no matter, as I crossed out the marks on the dust, you prayed with your eyes closed. Thank you!' I frowned. He dug me in the ribs with his elbow. 'Come on or we'll be late.'

Matthew 18:12-14….
If I lose something precious, its importance is in how it reflects on the image of myself. Losing something often means I have lost control over that image. So the rejoicing of the shepherd is about the interior relief and not so much about the sheep itself. That’s not as self-absorbed as it might appear. The point is the lost sheep has become very much part of the identity of the shepherd. If it wasn’t, he possibly wouldn’t care as much. This passage is about Jesus’ identity, which is entirely wrapped up in others – particularly the vulnerable.

Let your personality be infused with My Life in your service of the vulnerable

When praying for those you know who are fragile for any reason, be aware of your own desire for them. This can so easily become a means of advancing your own needs, strengths and possessiveness. Not that your needs and strengths are not important.... Lack of awareness of the desires around them, can get in the way. Imagine Christ to be with you – in whatever imagery or feelings help you – use the sentence to be with Him. Christ’s ‘ownership ‘of the vulnerable is paradoxically about freedom and release. In your local community, if Christ were to come (in your imagination) in his humanity again, where and to whom would you take him? Who is lost? Following your answer to these, you may be opened to the reality that you are His coming!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 85

2007-10-30T15:20:00.000Z

Woops...typo error - The last posting should have been MUTA 85 not 35... Sorry

Matthew under the arm 35

2007-10-30T15:07:00.000Z

A young woman came rushing out of her house as I passed through a village. She had anxiety written all over her face. She shouted down the street, three names...her children, of course. Columba had been wanting to walk on his own. He was well behind me. I asked her if she would like some help. Her eyes gave the answer. Together, we went down an alley and onto the main street of the village, next to the market. We could hear children's laughter from a good distance away. Relief! There by the fruit stall was Columba. He was sitting on the ground telling stories and teaching children to tie beautiful knots with ordinary string. The young Mother looked suspiciously at Columba and was about to grab her three little children. Columba noticed. 'Untie this knot', he said to her with that cheeky smile of his. Afraid of seeming hard and foolish, she took the string and tried to untie the knot. She was beaten. 'Allow the knot to relax in the palm of your hand. Look at it and it will tell you how to do it.' She smiled. She too was a child after all. And so is Columba!

Matthew 18:5-10….
Drowned, hands chopped off and eyes torn out. The culture of the Gospels is one of urgency. And so Jesus’ methods are urgent. The image of a child is one of total dependence: a model for relationship to God. So to relate to a child with kindness and sensitivity is to relate to God. The ‘child’ is not just an infant, but anyone who understands what it is to be utterly dependent. Child-like. In our culture, such dependency is regarded as inadequacy. The contrary is, of course, true. To depend utterly on God, whom we do not know, is what faith is.

I would learn simplicity from those who live in dependence on You.

Abandonment or surrender is central. Go through your day’s routine and engagements and ‘hold them up against the light of surrender to God’… At least, you will have surrendered yourself to other people and even machines! As you use the sentence, imagine someone you know who has come close to this abandonment to God. What do you admire about him/her? Do you want to imitate that dynamic? Now take a simple activity for which you are preparing. Spend a few seconds holding it, surrendering it to God. Breathe deeply and gently…. And let it go…. Finish by praying for children you know.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 84

2007-10-24T18:51:00.000Z

This morning, Columba and I were joined by two students. They were knowledgable and articulate. One knew about the stars and the other knew about trees and wild flowers. Columba remained silent as they waxed eloquent on their new found intellectual agility. He nodded and muttered politely. They both knew that they were with Columba, yet not once did they ask him anything about himself or his thoughts or experience. I whispered to him, 'Such arrogance'. 'No, no', he winked. 'They are trying to find a way of asking me how to live and live well, but don't know how to. To ask me would feel humiliating.' Columba turned to them. 'How do I learn more about these magnificent trees?'......!

Matthew 18:1-4….
All the questions and comments, including the ones that are about information, have their basis in just one question: Do you love me? That’s an embarrassing question except for children and lovers, who don’t really mind revealing their insecurity. Those that do hunger for position are asking that question by other means and they will discover that their question will not be satisfied. The further away we get from the basic question, the more recognition is sought by other less direct and less honest means. A child wants affirmation and realises that he or she is dependent on others for that. The kingdom is where questions are asked freely. David Jenkins described his own spiritual journey as: constantly refining the question...

In the silence and stillness of your heart, come to Me in Freedom and Truth

If I ask you a question, I am saying to you: ‘You have knowledge about something that I do not know’. Blessed is he who knows that he does not know. When you do have the humility to ask, the question you put is not necessarily the actual question that you really want to ask. ‘Do you accept me? Am I OK? Do you love me?’ Now these do reveal insecurity. But these questions are often asked in a manipulative way to get the feedback we want. Alternatively, they can be asked as masked acts of agression. Often in those circumstances, they are not really questions at all, but posturing. That can be a form of abuse. The Kingdom of Heaven is where you can be straight forward and yourself. You can taste that Kingdom in the use of this sentence, following your silence with a few question to Christ. What would they be?

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 83

2007-10-22T17:03:00.000Z

Late last night, despite the fact that I wasn't hungry (Alright, I was sulking!), Columba came to my bunk and kicked the edge. 'Come get up...lazy thing!' 'Why?' 'Come and listen.' So I grudgingly went down the stairs of the hostel, yawning as I went and 'growling'. All Columba did was laugh. No sympathy for poor me! 'Listen to this man', he urged. There by the fireside was an old man who had managed to walk on the pilgrimage on crutches! Columba looked into the man's eyes and said that he and I would carry him tomorrow. I dragged Columba to one side and, through my teeth, asked him why the man couldn't just wait and rest. After all he had got this far! 'Because', glared Columba, 'He has lived and prayed all his life with Matthew Gospel. I have a great deal to learn from him...and so do you!' I snarled, 'So we are carrying him for your learning, not his needs!' Columba smiled! 'Of course!'

Matthew 17:24-27….
There is no clear explanation of the story at the end of this passage. We are invited to enter the exchange and see the story as a kind of colouring of it, in all its mythic detail living now in us. There are themes: Insult… Jesus and his disciples being regarded as foreigners, unwanted aliens, perhaps the real disturbing nature of the ones that follow Christ… Sensitivity to the others... the collectors’ jobs being more significant that the new freedom of the disciples …. The legend of a fish is probably an extrapolation from early Christian times when the symbol of the fish for a follower became common currency. Perhaps the fact that it was a whole shekel rather than the demand for a half one, might be another symbol of the extravagant if not rash generosity of Christianity.

In all you responsibilities towards others let My wisdom be within you

Responsibility and freedom are dependent on one another. Let one test the other. A responsibility that is trapping cannot be addressed creatively. Likewise what you may regard as freedom may be at another’s expense. After you have been with the sentence in your prayer, play with the legend about the fish in your imagination. Expand it and make it your own. If you were in a dream about the fish, what would find in its mouth and to whom would you give it? It’s the kind of story Francis of Assisi would have loved and probably did!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 82

2007-10-19T09:30:00.000Z

In the middle of a market place, at dusk yesterday, there was Columba telling one of his stories. 10 children had a candle each. They lit the candles and were enjoying the gentle warm light that they gave out. One little boy said to his sister next to him, 'My flame is higher than yours'. She lent across and blew the boy's candle out. He then lent across and blew hers out and the boy's on his other side, so angry was he at being treated like this. Before they knew it, not only was everyone trying to blow everyone else's candle out, but they were throwing them at each, causing screaming from the hot wax landing on skin, except for one little boy. When he had his candle out, he simply looked and remained still. He didn't join in the candle throwing. He stood up, and went to collect 10 new candles and lit them all, a little distance away. He sat and waited...

Matthew 17:22,23….
For Jesus ‘to be given into the power of men’ arises from an attitude of deep self-knowledge and clarity. His attitude of non-resistance is one of clarity and even assertion and not of misplaced meekness. The power of his submission (if that's the appropriate word) is greater than any oppressive power against him. The story of Jesus execution and God’s raising him is about the transfiguration of negative energies by non-resistance and the intention of understanding destructive forces that arise from fear. This dynamic approach through death strained the disciples imagination and understanding....and still does!

I would enter into Your Divine self-awareness and so be an instrument of peace and creativity

The sadness that you may feel when someone you love dies or leaves, highlights the level of your possessiveness or dependence. In the silence, allow your imagination to feel the level of possessiveness or dependence in your relationships. Now, imagine you have this intimate relationship with Christ. Feel him telling you of his coming execution and 'sense' the absence of any suggestion of resistance. Use the sentence to deepen your understanding of the creative place of non-resistance in the practicalities and relationships of your life.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 81

2007-10-16T19:36:00.000Z

Two days ago, I was having a rest after a difficult stretch of road. It had been pouring with rain for three solid days. The mud and wind seemed to make the walking twice as hard as it probably was in reality. Columba bumped me on my shoulder and ushered me to come and help. We walked into a little house, where an old lady was distraught with anxiety. She had her hands clasped in agonised beseeching. There on a couch was a boy of about 15 or 16, he was pale and thin, eyes staring straight ahead of him. Seemingly, he had been like that for weeks... Terror was in his face. When I looked at Columba's face, it was as if the same terror had overtaken him as well. Columba looked at me and whispered that I must sit on the floor, remain slent and imagine Christ's presence in the room. 'Work hard at your prayer,' he added urgently. 'Prayer? Hard work?' 'Of course...the hardest and most vital work.' We were there for over 24 hours.... no food, no sleep, but working with the terrified boy. This morning, we returned. The boy was sitting, with equally ashen features.... Was this a healing by Columba? 'Maybe. That's not the point,' he replied. 'Integration lies at the root of all wholeness. That's what's Christ's unity within is about.' I am now even more exhausted, even more wondering.

Matthew 17:14-20….
A sufferer from Epilepsy can seem ‘taken over’ by some external entity, not only to the anxious oserver but the sufferer her/himself. In a culture where the God of history drove natural as well as historical events, such distress came from a ‘negative God’, or devil. What is important for us is that the story portrays the complete confidence in Jesus to extract the ‘devil’, because that is the nature of God’s Kingdom, where restoration is free of destructive forces through the activity of love. That total confidence in God is lacking in the disciples. In Mark’s Gospel Jesus claims that the disciples had not prayed or fasted: a suggestion that the spiritual preparation we give to whatever we do is essential in the journey of faith.

In readiness for the tasks before me, I would ask for stillness and attention to Your Healing Wisdom

Take out your diary or calendar. Let it lie on your lap or on the floor before you. Make it an offering to God. As you look at the detail, having memorised the sentence above, gently repeat it after each item. If there is a particular task about which you are concerned, enter it in your imagination with Christ, using the sentence. Remain there repeating the sentence and being as still as possible. Breathe carefully and hold the diary with your palms open. Pray deeply that you may become more and more available for ‘Kingdom’ restoration work: working for local justice and integrity in whatever way you can, no matter how insignificant.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 80

2007-10-11T12:28:00.000Z

Columba was holding a mug of some kind in his hands as we were taking a mid-morning break. The early morning climb up the path to the ridge overlooking the next valley was a stiff one indeed! To begin with, I thought he was simply out of breath: his mouth sucking in air from the exercise. As I drew closer, I realised he was moving his lips as if whispering prayers. When I asked him afterwards what he was saying, he replied as if it was obvious, 'Well, I am just reciting the Elijah story in the Book of Kings.' I was staggered. He knew the whole collection of Elijah stories and sayings by heart. 'John the Baptist knew them and lived them,' said Columba rather sharply. 'Knowing scripture by heart means what it says....the Word in the heart...then you become the Word.... Christ in you...yes even you!...The Hope of Glory.' He smiled cheekily and as he stood, slapped me on the back: 'On we go and remember Christ knew scripture by heart. So he was able to use it prayerfully and passionately at the moments of rejection'. Columba continued to whisper! Praying and knowing scripture by heart, eh? Mmmm!

Matthew 7:9-13….
It is important to remember that in ancient times, human personality was not so individualised as it is in our own. No one is entirely sure what are the actual words of Jesus in the Gospels. So, the ‘words of Jesus’ represent his continuing presence in the lives of those who follow him. The Word. Likewise, John the Baptist is the continuance of Elijah’s uncomfortable warning about faithfulness to God rather than the idolatry of human power and acquisitiveness. John ('whose shoes I am unworthy to tie') is the prophetic warning of God. Jesus is the anointed suffering of God. Both pointing to God’s utter emptying of himself out of love.

I would be aware of Your Presence in those who point to Your Love

The central task of spirituality is that you are the Presence of God for the service of others and to draw attention to the causes of suffering among those who are alienated from love and human well-being. Silence, contemplation, reflection on a disciplined basis is the source of these two aspects of spirituality. So before you pray with this passage look at the story of Elijah in 1 Kings and again at the story of John the Baptist in earlier chapters of this Gospel. Take the atmospheres into your use of the sentence.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 79

2007-10-09T14:21:00.000Z

[Sorry! I have been away again... I need to learn how to do these blog postings on my little PDA]

About three o'clock, this afternoon - and I will never forget this - Columba and I were meandering along a path that eventually led into some trees. The trees were huge and closely packed together. The result was that the light was dim. Coming towards us was a group of about 6 or 7 people who were walking slowly. In fact, they were exhausted. Among them was a young man in his early thirties, I would guess. He had his head raised high. His arms were around the shoulders of a young couple carrying two tiny babies. Columba asked the young man about the group. He told him that the family had been ejected from their house in a nearby village. he was taking them to find some food and some shelter. I said that the next village was at least 15 miles away. Columba said nothing, but helped the young man to create a shelter with branches. Together, we managed to make a make-shift shelter for the family who were distraught. The young man and Columba began to talk together. I couldn't help noticing that there was a distinct aura around the young man. 'Well,' said Columba a little later,' There always is around someone who acts out of love and compassion. You only have to look and then roll up your sleeves.'

Matthew 17:1-8….
Like all experiences of intimacy, what is actually happening in this passage is beyond analysis. Like all mysteries, all that remains is to delight in it. The prime Hebrew Scriptures characters, Jesus’ dazzling appearance…. All on a high mountain. Peter’s shelters are like the tents in the desert lands that were set up to shelter the sacredness of the God-given Law, the presence of God. It is as if in this one bewildering passage, the whole of the biblical mystery of God’s presence is recollected. The gospels were written in the light of the followers of Christ’s experience of his resurrection. Jesus Christ is the present sacredness of God.

That your whole self may delight in My Presence going before all you are and do

Transfiguration is what you are about. That’s the task…to bring God’s transfiguring hope to places of darkness and despair. To enter into that mystery deep within you, imagine that you have climbed a mountain – one you know, one you imagine. Who is there with you to enjoy this moment: your most intimate friends? Just let your imagination go! ‘See’ Christ in front of you… Even if its ridiculous, what would you like to do…? Nothing much may come to you, if anything. Whether it does or not, use the sentence, simply to be there.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 78

2007-09-26T21:14:00.000Z

All day today, Columba was silent. Not only that, but he seemed to be walking with a slower pace than usual. [Why is it that holy people always seem to walk so fast...?] Everytime I asked him if something was wrong, all I got was the hand going up halting me from pursuing the matter. After a while I gave up talking and asking. In the evening, after supper during which Columba seemed to eat little, he went outside the inn and sat on the bench looking at the sunset. He asked me to join him. he opened the palms of his hands and let them face upwards. I copied him. 'What am I supposed to be doing?', I asked feeling rather silly. 'During this pilgrimage', he said with a sigh, 'I have come across so many people who are feeling lost and are hoping to find something, some way forward, some deeper part of themselves on this pilgrimage. Many come to me, including you, and are expecting me to give a sign, give an answer. I feel useless. So all I can do is first to open my hands and accept the uselessness as a kind fo crucifixion...me, picking up my own cross. Then I imagine I am carrying them. Help me!'

Matthew 16:24-28....
Notice carefully that Jesus indicates that the follower must take up his/ her (own) cross. We have our own journey and our own responses to circumstances. For the writer, some form of 'ending' was near, figured in the Son of man's immanent appearance. Behaviour here is not some moral code but an extravagant expenditure of life....almost like 'going for broke'! Christ is with us in the expense.

Be awake to the expense of My Love in you and from you

To enter into silent prayer is ‘to take up your own cross’. It can include, perhaps, the painful discovery that nothing of any significance may lie at the heart of you...an emptiness. Prayer does not necessarily increase spiritual strength but it deepens humility and suffering. Now, suffering here is about living in the heart of someone's pain or loss. For Christians, spirituality is not about righteousness or self-development. It's not some programme, some project. Certainly, it involves an athletes dedication as Paul would have it. It is looking out at the agony of a people and experiencing in prayer their agony, while staying with your powerlessness. Receive courage to use the sentence to enter this prayer.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 77

2007-09-23T19:47:00.000Z

Yesterday evening we had a good meal and, after our being apart for those days, we had a lot to catch up on. 'We're well into our pilgrimage now' he said as a throw away remark. 'So?' Iadded. 'Well, you have become very attached to me and I to you. We have already been through a great deal together. You left me for a while and felt insecure. I have tried to teach you that there is a wisdom in insecurity. It is the wisdom of Christ Himself. You have learnt a great deal about prayer...the importance of daily discipline, of silence, of being formed by Christ through prayer and service. The conclusion of our pilgrimage is still a great distance away. But now we must move into a time of you learning more about The Way which is not someone else's path but that bcomes yours as you become more and more Christ-like.' I laughed. 'Me? Christ-like?' Columba's face darkened with anger. He didn't have to say anything.

Matthew 16:21-23....
Peter's attitudes were dealt with harshly. At one moment, he had been promised the powers of binding and loosing. The next....Peter received another promise: the source of these powers would be executed. So the promise made to Peter seemed to him, futile. Futility is often the judgement made by those who are frightened of losing control. The hard reality of Christianity is that the way to fulfilment in God is through suffering and death: a loss of control. A denial of that demonstrates a lack of listening to God.

In obedience to the Way of Christ within me, I would be open to suffering with others

Following Christ is only experienced in living alongside those who suffer. Imagine in the silence, those who are or have been alongside you in your suffering no matter how insignificant: an experience of Christ being with you. Perhaps visit, write, email or telephone someone you are aware is suffering. Get involved, perhaps, with a group that relates to those who suffer in some way.... You might spend 10 minutes imagining Christ's silent love alongside the suffering, with your silent love and service. With the sentence, draw alongside that person (or group or people....) and in the presence and Way of Christ love them. That is the power of binding and loosing.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 76

2007-09-20T20:44:00.000Z

For two days, I looked for Columba in the centre of the town, where I was told I would find him. There he was leaning against a wall next to the prison. He had tears in his eyes as he watched men arriving bound, pale faced and with that strange mixture of defiance and fear. I was transfixed at Columba's intense identification with the prisonners. By now, I have learnt that on these occasions when I see such intensity in his face, to let him be. Eventually when all the prison gates clanged shut, I rushed across to Columba to express my relief at finding him at last. 'I have found you and caught up with you at last,' I said lamely. 'More importantly,' Columba said in a low tone, 'Follow Christ'. 'Stop being so pious!', I retorted irritated that he didn't seem to miss me. I added in a fed-up tone,'Where is He anyway?' All Columba did was to point to the prison and put his finger up to his lips. 'Shshsh'

Matthew 16:13-20....
The centre is the revelation of God. God becomes present now and that presence is experienced in Jesus Christ. Jesus is the realisation of God. The terms 'prophet', 'Son of man', 'Christ' have enormous and unfathomable significance for Jewish and Christian cultures. The disciples at this stage could not possibly take in this breath-taking encyclopaedia of theology. The silence that Jesus demands allows space for awe and understanding to grow. To keep the realisation quiet is to acknowledge that religious cultures have the inclination to 'own', to 'possess' creeds. Christ points beyond such imprisonment.

That in your heart and mind you may realise the Christ in you: the hope of glory

So the 'strict order' for silence is the demand that you enter the Love of God… in silence. The mystery of Love you will meet in the silence of you prayer but also in the silent action of Love, where Love can only be understood 'at a tangent' and, because of limited perception, never ‘head on’. Envisage who you think Christ to be for you. ‘Picture’ that Presence. Write or draw what you experienced in the silence.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 75

2007-09-18T19:10:00.000Z

Columba waited for sometime but eventually decided to go on ahead of me. According to rumour, he is quite a few days ahead. This is the first time I have been on my own on this pilgrimage. What's more, the rain has not stopped all day. Despite the fact that I keep my Gospel of Matthew under my arm, as it were, it's getting sodden and dog-eared! True, I do find Columba sometimes a pain. True, I occasionally feel even humiliated with him. But...to be on my own now. All I really want is to find him... He is my guide. I feel secure with him. Every village I have been through, I have been asking people if they have seen this little man called Columba, with wide eyes and a scraggy beard, walk through with that urgent step of his. Invariably, all I heard was 'Oh yes! Him! He passed through here several days ago. All he said to us was, "If my fellow pilgrim asks for me, tell him I have been here."' So, what if I never catch up with him? What if he goes in one direction and I in another - and I am lost! It was only when I found a bunk in a hostel earlier this evening, that I remembered him saying to me: 'The wisdom of insecurity will guide you.... the wisdom of Christ!'

Matthew 16:6-12....
Religious certainty is destructive. To believe in a religious system that gives certain guidance leads to the feeling that we have licence to decide others fate: anything from over-riding control, rejection to a crucifixion - even genocide. That person, those people are denying my religion, therefore they are blasphemous and must be alienated. We are hungry for certainty as if it were bread in the wilderness. We are deluded enough to believe that certainty in religion will banish our deepest secret - fear. The dangerous ‘leaven’ of religion.

Through Your Wisdom, I would realise the freedom of insecurity.

What is the gift you have received, the generosity you have experienced that has been given without any expectation - that has created a sense of freedom in you? Picture the giver and the gift. Go before Christ and 'hold' it out to Him in deep thanks. Allow yourself to smile! What certainties have you been given? Any? Do you really want them? Generosity is an act out of uncertainty, even insecurity, otherwise it wouldn't be generosity. Generosity is risky. Now enter your prayer and experience the freedom that spiritual insecurity, uncertainty brings. (‘Blessed are the Poor in Spirit...’)

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 74

2007-08-29T08:33:00.001Z

[I am taking some 'time-out' on the Pilgrimage with Columba...just two weeks. Some reading, some thinking, some looking.... I WILL BE BACK WITH COLUMBA ON 16TH SEPTEMBER. I hope you'll join me again, maybe for the first time! Thank you for your company!]

We decided two days ago to do some night walking. The moonlight and starlight was sufficient for us to find along a path which was clearly marked in any case. As we left our lodgings, there out in the middle of the street, was a brawl. Inevitably, a crowd was forming with much shouting on behalf of one or other of the brawlers. Fists flew and blood poured from broken noses. The shouts got louder. I was appalled at the behaviour of the crowd. However, I had ignored the fascination in my heart. Sweating with rage, I shouted to no avail for the fight to stop. Nothing happened. There on the other side was Columba who had wormed his way through the crowd into the clear space. He stood still with his eyes closed. For a while he was pushed and shoved in an attempt to get him out of the way. I was terrified for his safety. The fight stopped and the crowd stared at Columba in amazement at his calm presence. Prophecy by silence. We started walking....

Matthew 16:1-4...
To develop ‘the eye of the heart’ (Ephesians 1) is to have the insight of a prophet. Prophecy is the gift of seeing what is happening around us in this present moment and finding God in that...no matter how consolate or desolate the experience. This will lead to having insight on behalf of others (and for ourselves!) that may be hopeful, decisive or even disturbing. Jonah was swallowed by a whale for three days (a convincingly desolate experience!) and then spewed on to a beach (consolation?) - death and resurrection. What seemed a curse was in fact a blessing. But insight may in some cirucmstances lead us to the reverse conclusion!

In the reality around me, let me be know Your Truth and Your Wisdom

Discerning the presence of God in every circumstance may seem extreme, if not impossible. It is not the same as giving reassurance. Christian spirituality is not about experiencing ease or even peace. Try taking into your prayer (with the sentence) an experience you have had recently; some event or exchange that you have observed. Ask to perceive the Spirit of God in it. Don't force the prayer. Wait and watch. Write down what you felt in your prayer and wait on clarity emerging.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 73

2007-08-22T11:57:00.000Z

(For those of you who have just come across this blog, this is a 'pilgrimage' I am making with St Columba, the great early saint of Christinaity in these islands. The destination will reveal itself! Each blog posting has a story of the pilgrimage that relates to the Gospel passage. The piolgrimage involves walking with Matthew's Gospel ... 'under the arm.)

Today, at about noon, I was so hungry! I had travelled with Columba for two days without provisions. Given the weather, water was not a problem! Beside the road was a rather run-down farm. So I knocked on the door and asked if the old man had any spare bread and vegetables to sell. His toothless smile was wonderful! He summoned us in to share his table, which of course, didn't amount to much. When he put a plate of soup in front of us, I couldn't help wondering about the contents! He held his hands up for some silence. Columba frowned at me for looking so critical. The old man simply said: 'God. Jesus. Spirit. These two pilgrims... gifts for the end of my days. Thank you.' A table in the wilderness indeed! Eucharisting...thanking indeed!

Matthew 15:32-39....
This story might be a repetition of the previous feeding story. However, it may be Matthew's intention to be insistent on the constant importance of feeding in Jesus' work.... hospitality in an inhospitable place. Again Jesus is available where convenience is not considered. This demands a simplicity of life-style in order to be thus available. There is a different 'take' on the first story's 'blessing' of the food. Here Jesus ‘gives thanks’. Despite the adverse circumstances, Jesus' blessing is deepened by thanksgiving. We are summoned to make sure that thanksgiving receives priority in all places. That is the inspiration, of course, of the Eucharist...Blessing, breaking, giving thanks and giving... The fundamentals for those who follow Christ that we may be the presence of Christ.

I would find Your Presence in all things, and so give thanks.

In the busiest time of this day, pray briefly and intensely that you may find God in the most crowded moment...in the detail of your day. Then, in your journal note down what you experienced as a result of that intention. It is essential to have the habit of silent contemplative prayer that your 'spiritual antennae' maybe awake to find God. So enter into this sentence with expectation and imagine you were establishing the skill of a bird-watcher...!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 72

2007-08-20T15:50:00.000Z

In the corner of the room yesterday evening, kneeling on his bunk bed, there was Columba. His eyes were half open looking at the simple little wooden cross he always carried in his pocket. He had laid it on the end of his bunk. There was a simplicity, almost a naivety in his face. It was a captivating, even a beautiful sight. He didn't know I was watching. However, I felt a sadness. I realised he had a love in him which reached away out beyond him.... I have always throughout this pilgrimage assumed he had a special love of me. But somehow at that moment, I wondered whether I had 'lost' him. After a while, he rose and went to wash. He had left his cross on the bed. I picked it up and turned it over. There, scratched on the back of the words were the words as if spoken by Christ: 'My Love for you is for your love for others.'

Matthew 15:29-31....
‘By the shores...on to the mountain.’ Two images are striking here - of Jesus being 'on the edge' - the shores - with those who were probably pushed to the edge by their circumstances, and moving up to where Jesus was sitting: a sense of relaxation and freedom to be open that being on a mountain brings. The healings give a freedom to speak, a loosening of being confined, the ability to have the wider view, to walk and be expansive. So healing is not freedom ‘from’ but ‘for’...as love in Christ is not love 'of' but love 'for'....

Come and be still with Me. Be healed by Me, so that you can be free for Me.

The tragedy is that religious practice has brought some to illness and it has been the cause even of hideous brutality, instead of bringing freedom and adventure. Religion is open to being coercive, even in subtle ways. Spirituality draws you into freedom - to be who you are - your 'real' self. In the depths of your prayer, speak from your heart to God. Straighten your body out and be erect whatever your posture is. Have in front of you a painting or an icon and look with attention. Then stand up for a moment or two and walk slowly and carefully for a few steps. Focus on your movement. Adore this little experience of freedom - God- that you have had. Then settle down with the sentence to deepen the experience.

+Martin
Argyll and The Ilses

Matthew under the arm 71

2007-08-16T10:24:00.000Z

The sea lay below us this morning. The air was so still, that our breathing seemed an interruption! It was as if nature itself was calling us to be silent. There was, it seemed, no alternative but to sit down on the grass bank, between the gorse bushes! Columba held up his left hand and asked me to do the same. 'Let me teach you a simple way of praying. It's called "The Jesus Prayer". First, allow your eyes to look around you and take in all you see. Breathe easily and calmly. Try to be still and not fidget.' (That always irritates me. Columba always sees my physical, not to mention mental agitation! But I must say that practicing stillness everyday... its beginning to work.... stillness, I mean... as for the inner agitation, well...) 'So... say "Lord, Jesus Christ" on your thumb; "Son of the Living God" on your index finger' "Have mercy" on your middle finger (asking for love for ALL), "on me" (moving inwards to forgiving love for yourself), a sinner (acknowledging the distance you make between yourself and the practice of the Love of God. Then repeat the exrecise until it becomes part of your inner rhythm.' 'For how long?' I asked plaintively. 'For the rest of your life! But 20 minutes will do in the meantime!' Mmmm.

Matthew 15:21-28...
'Lord... have pity on me!' By now, our experience of Matthew will have revealed a disturbing recurrence: how much the participants in the Gospel are desperate! The woman is a Canaanite -two experiences of being rejected: gender and race - female and non-Jewish. The desperate don't even mind insults. If you are starving and naked you have nothing to lose. Is Faith difficult for us because we have too much to lose?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me.

The sentence is that which is known as the 'The Jesus Prayer'. It comes from the Eastern Orthodox tradition of prayer. In turn, this sentence was evolved from desperate prayers in the Gospel, including the woman's prayer in this passage. There are those who use little else in their praying. The first half is adoration and the second half is the humility of desperate beseeching. You can 'say' the first half with the in-breath and the second half-with the outb reath. You can also fel the pulse oon your wrist and say the prayer in rhythm with it. All Christian spirituality is there! Take it with you everywhere.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 70

2007-08-13T09:52:00.000Z

I walked out of the inn and stumped down the road. Well, I was tired. We had three days walking and nowhere to stay, sleep or rest. Even Columba was getting scratchy! (Even Columba? Come to think of it he can be waspish quite often! Perhaps all saints can sting!) After an hour and half, I went back and there was Columba sitting by the log fire staring at the flames. 'Do you want to walk on your own from now on?' I asked in a cold chilling tone. 'Why are you so angry with me?' Columba asked. 'Because you never take anything I say as being of much use or importance. I want to be taken seriously as teacher like you.' 'If it wasn't for you', he replied in a quiet measured tone, 'I would not be able to pass on the Christian practice to other pilgrims. Your love and care for me is not in what you say but in what you are. But, if I am not supporting you, forgive me. You are free to be on your own. You don't need me.' I wept. Why was I so full of self-pity? Columba was in tears too. I had wounded him!

Matthew 15:10-20....
'Whatever comes out of the mouth....' A word can either bring the beauty of creation into being or it can set in motion cold or hot rejection. The former comes from love; the latter from fear. If I speak from love, then it may be beautiful or it maybe hard, but not destructive. From fear, my words will wound or even alienate because of my desire to protect myself. If a group or nation behaves like this.....!

I would have my words drawn from Your Loving in the heart of me.

Do not dwell on what you may have said that has hurt. Instead, recollect an event where what you said, delighted or released love in someone no matter how small it may seem. As you enter meditation picture the scene you were in and enjoy it. Then give thanks. This will help you move into your still centre, where you can use the sentence to strengthen the creativity of your words.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 69

2007-08-08T19:37:00.000Z

For the first time on our pilgrimage, Columba and I entered a city. It had a beautiful Abbey church. We both stood in the nave, which was full of pilgrims gazing at the share height of the vaulting. Columba left me and went over to a mammoth pillar - and lay down on the paving! Embarrassing.... He put his hands behind his head and crossed his legs as if he were about to have a doze. I walked on not wanting to be associated with him! But it was too late. A pilgrim approached me and said, 'You're a friend of his, aren't you?' I felt like St Peter in the courtyard when he was asked whether he knew Jesus. Would I disown Columba? So I gritted my teeth and took the pilgrim by the elbow over to Columba. 'Lie down and look up!', Columba smiled. 'Come on! Don't worry about what others think!' So we did.... 'Imagine that we were looking up and we can see the whole of unknown and known Christians filling the huge space.' Columba jumped to his feet. 'Remember,' he said, 'Don't try too hard to get your Christianity right.... You can't do it without them.... or these!' 'Who are these?', I asked.... We walked back outside the Abbey... Beggars at the door... Columba sat down on the pavement with them and told jokes and gave them some bread. 'These!... yes... The Church...!' he laughed again.

Matthew 15:1-9....
Tradition has two creative functions. One is to keep us in touch with the 'stream of consciousness' in the activities and thoughts of our history as God is found in them. The other is to enable appropriate change to be made in the light of experience. For tradition to be maintained for its own sake can so often be a means by which an organisation, for fear of losing cudos and power, attempts to maintain control. History is littered with religious organisations becoming self-serving.

I would discover You in the experience of our forebears and in Your continuing revelation.

Have a conversation with someone you trust about that which makes you feel afraid. What habits do you hold on to out of fear? What affects do they have on others? In what ways do you feel free to be flexible with tradition for the service of others? In what ways is there is movement in your experience away from 'The Body of Christ' to seeing your spiritual journey purely in personal terms. Now enter into the silence with the sentence that you may be in touch with long tradition of contemplative prayer. Allow yourself to be challenged at depth, to be transformed so that you can help others to face change.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 68

2007-08-04T20:42:00.000Z

[I have been away from the pilgrimage for well over a week. Maybe you're still there! Thank you]

Columba had dark rings around his eyes this evening. He was exhausted. 'What are you looking at?', he said to me as if he were being dismissive, but yet there was a note of gladness that I had recognised how he was feeling. I told him that he needed to rest. 'No! I don't need rest.... I had a terrible experience earlier today. I became angry and resentful when speaking to a priest. He sneered at my attempts to remind him of his vocatrion to prayer and to love. I was pompous and condemning in my tone. What I realised, of course too late, when the priest had long walked away from me, was that I was seeing in him that which was lacking in myself.' I took Columba's right hand and he took my left and I gently soothed the back of his hand. He reciprocated. After a while we laughed heartily. The touch and the laughter of healing....

Matthew 14:34-36....
Begging... Touch… When people starve, they beg. Prayer as begging we have come across before. It feels demeaning. That doesn't matter when we are desperate. Maybe Christianity is the religion for the desperate. Even those with no religious belief will touch something if it has a sacred history. Many of us are desperate to touch the famous. Touching Christ is the recognition of his presence in reality around me. Christ in flesh and blood. Touch Him!

Feel My Presence in reality around you

With someone you know, love and trust, hold each other's hands and touch them gently - massage them and explore them. This too is intimacy in prayer. It is loving. Then by yourself in silence become aware of your desire to beg - really beg God to answer your prayer. Feel it. Don't let analysis cloud your desperation. Imagine yourself reaching out to 'touch' Christ and 'feel' his strength and love 'massaging' you, loving you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 67

2007-07-23T21:51:00.000Z

All day, I walked alongside a pilgrim who had just received news that his walking companion's wife had died in an accident. He had been asked to inform his companion. Eventually, we sat on the grass verge of the pathway, as his breathing was so fast that he was exhausted. He was terrified of telling his friend. For ages, it seems, I tried to talk to him and persuade him to get on with it. In fact, the pilgrim's fear was beginning to irritate me! Columba was ahead of us. So I ran to catch up with him and ask him advice. Without a word, Columba turned and came back to the frightened pilgrim. The bereaved companion approached us, oblivious of the tragedy about to be told him. Columba looked, but the frightened man simply hoped that Columba would say it for him. However, all that Columba did was to ask the bereaved pilgrim what he was afraid of. 'Not being told the truth, even if it hurts', was his answer. At that point, Columba and I left them.

Matthew 14:22-33....
In the evening, Christ prays and it is in that prayer that His realisation is deepened of the scale of fear in humanity. He doesn't condemn it, he comes to meet it where it is. Drowning is a terrifying prospect. Rejection, being alienated, feels like being drowned and forgotten. Christ comes across the water as a baptismal symbol, to 'baptise' Peter in his terror. Jesus puts his hand out and ‘lifts’ Peter. In Baptism, we have the drowning and rising of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection.

That in the depths of me You would transform my fears by Your Rising and Your Hope.

When I am afraid, I feel my breathing become shallow. It's like drowning. Jesus doesn't dismiss the fear, he points to the reality of its power and my lack of ability in relating to it. Let Christ enter into your fears. Acknowledge what they are and let Him look at them and be with them as he 'holds' you. Use the sentence to still your breathing and deepen your attention to Christ.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 66

2007-07-17T18:01:00.000Z

Today at lunch time, Columba and I realised we had forgotten to buy some bread and some fruit. We passed a group of people sitting on the wall and joking. In fact, you could hear their laughter from miles back. Most of them recognised Columba. He was well known for being tall, thin and slightly stooped. His beard was almost an apology! As they say, it was moth-eaten! The group summoned us across, but they didn't offer us some of their food. Columba told them a few of stories and jokes. He then looked plaintively at them. 'Have had nothing to eat?'...silly question. 'We haven't got enough for all of us.' 'Well, the little you have, let's have a Eucharist beside the path.' Before long about 12 people gathered around. 'This is my body. This is my blood.' Afterwards, there certainly was enough...

Matthew 14:13-20....
Jesus responds to hunger. His life was not a project with an aim and objectives to meet. He was available and was more 'done to' than doing. He responds even when he is at the vital work of prayer. He gives more than people 'need' - he meets deep desires and more... 12 baskets with all the symbolism of the complete collection of the 'tribes' of Israel being fed by God to the full and more... No boundaries and no restraint in the Kingdom of God.

In the delight and generosity of God, I enter into the depths of you to feed your hunger and desire.

It's surprising to realise that so much of the Gospel is about desire and abundance, when 'poverty' seems so emblematic of Christianity. So enter into this prayer time imagining that you are at a dinner party or equivalent. Enjoy this prayer time by imagining every detail of the food and the company you would like to be in. Don't be mean! Use the sentence to deepen your imagination and enjoy....

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 65

2007-07-14T13:52:00.000Z

[I've been away on my own retreat.... Thank you for being patient!]
Three days ago, I was walking behind Columba all day! I refused to walk beside him. Yes - self-pity - and nobody noticed! For several days fellow pilgrims had heard that Columba was on the same part of the pilgrimage, so had either waited until he caught up with them, or had raced to catch up with him. Instead of rejoicing at those who wanted to learn from Columba or to be inspired by him, I was jealous! Yes jealous! [He's mine... precious!!] So I hung back a few yards on my own and looked down at the ground, feeling humiliated by myself. In the evening, they didn't go away as we ate a light supper on the wall. Yes, I made sure Columba could see I was sitting on my own. The next day, Columba walked by himself. I still didn't join him. [You're mine...I control....] On the third day, I walked on my own without anyone, expecting to be released from my self-torture! Most of the day - tears! AND Columba didn't even bother to console me. I woke up then! ...just in time!

Matthew 14:1-12....
Herod feels acute guilt at murdering John, who had challenged his misuse of power. The presence of Jesus exposes the darkness that lies at the depths of human consciousness, with the intention, not of condemning but of healing. To complicate matters Herod is caught in the trap of sexual envy and bitterness. John the Baptist exposes corruption simply through his own personal authenticity.

Christ of compassion, rise with Your Healing Light through the darkness within me.

Richard Strauss composed a disturbing opera on the story of John's beheading: 'Salome'. It centres around the sexual infatuation of Salome, Herodias’ daughter, for John. If she cannot seduce him and own him, then she must destroy him. Extreme maybe. But it may help to expose similar and perhaps unowned vindictiveness that lies deep in the psyche. (Mine included!) Allow the sentence to be the means by which Christ gently exposes the unresolved bitternesses that often are pushed down out of fear...

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 64

2007-07-06T19:35:00.000Z

Outside the little village last night, we came across a generous old man, who offered us some mattresses on his floor to sleep. As we made our way into the little house, there were 2 other pilgrim who were resting on the floor and playing with their dice. The air was acrid with stale sweat, not to mention the rather colourful language. Columba couldn't help giggling at the dodgy jokes, which sort of gave me permission to join in the fun. When the two realised we were their listening to them, their mood changed. They obviously had no intention of creating space for us to lie down. 'We got here first. Go somewhere else. There isn't room'. 'It's raining!' I said considerably miffed. 'So?', was the lazy and careless answer. Columba said nothing and simply moved their gear over the floor a little to create space for us. One of the men stood up and grabbed Columba and his gear and through him out. Then it was my turn. Outside with the door slammed, Columba knocked. One of the men came to the door ready to punch Columba. 'Have this', said Columba. He gave the angry man his apple! Guess what the man did with that!

Matthew 13:53-58....
Possession is again portrayed as an inhibition in this passage. Relatives are often spoken of as if they were possessions: 'my'... 'our' etc. This becomes disabling because we are no longer simply persons in our right. Christ is inhibited by us if we 'possess' him - as if he is the sole property of Christians; the Church. In fact, from His birth onwards Christ, if he is the possession of anyone, then he is only so for the outsiders. And outsiders, by definition have few if any possessions. To be truly honoured, respected we must be let free to be ourselves.

That you may bring My Freedom and My Light out of My Loving within you

Even when you have attained a disciplined spiritual life, it is hard to resist possessiveness: my prayer; my heart; my feelings... and they are not yours... they are within you certainly. The Spirit of Christ is gift within you, not 'yours'. We belong to God... that is where ownership begins and ends. Ask yourself who you own.... what you own.... or what you would like to own. Are there ways in which your ownership has inhibited love and freedom? Use the sentence to reset where belonging really lies.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 63

2007-07-03T17:56:00.000Z

The pathway today seemed to go across a moorland that seemed to go on for ever. We were all alone. There was no chatter between us. Columba looked at his feet as he walked. I looked in the distance, wondering when this boring part of the pilgrimage would be over. It was as if we were in an 'in-between' world - leaving something comfortable, familiar and secure behind for something unknown ahead of us. Columba realised that my pace was slowing. So he simply sat down in a space between the scrub and waited on me to join him. The wind blew dust in our faces and I wanted to go back. He put up his hands to his eyes as if gesturing to me to close mine. 'Christ arise within us and give us the courage to let go that which holds us to the past. Help us to honour the past and use it. But arise through us and draw us towards the unknown ahead of us. Love us now that we may have hope. May we be the bringers of hope in a transforming world.' 'What was that about?' I asked Columba. 'If you are to be the Love of God which you are learning on this pilgrimage, then you are going to be transformed. Risk the costly adventure.'

Matthew 13:51-52....
We are asked the question whether we understand. Jesus, however, takes us deeper. Understanding here is about knowing: being in touch with the world of the Spirit (the Kingdom). The ‘storeroom’ is the memory, the world of our unconsciousness as well as consciousness. Spirituality is the experience of the rising of the Spirit within us through the old. The 'old' is that which is familiar. The 'rising' comes through that 'oldness' to that which is new and transforming. The 'old' is/are not denied and rejected.

Let the depth of your memory be open to My Healing and My Creativity

Remind yourself that stillness is vital to body, mind and spirit. To enter into the springs of personality involves allowing stillness to create an openness. Use the sentence for about 15 minutes - let its rhythm still you. Your memory contains images and feelings of past experience. Let Christ rise within you lighting on the newness the creative desire within to serve the Love of God. When you have completed this meditation, reflect (in writing if it helps) on what your response might be.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 62

2007-07-01T17:04:00.000Z

Puzzling. Two days ago Columba spent a long time with a young couple on the pilgrimage. They had shown signs, everytime we caught up with them, of being unhappy and anxious. All he said to me was: 'Pray for them'. 'What am I to pray about?' Columba replied, 'You don't need to know. Just pray'. 'Your prayer has nothing to do with information that will make you feel better, but for others.' Later I asked Columba why he spent so long with them. Well, after I listened to their story and they appeared to be calmer, I became fascinated by their experience. I learnt a lot.' 'So...', I replied rather haughtily. '....you were really with them for yourself and not for them!' 'Of course', he replied. 'Have you ever seen anyone love anyone else without gaining from it themselves?' I was a little upset. 'But isn't completely selfless love what we should be aiming at? Wasn't that what you were trying to tell me earlier?' 'What kind of love is that?' he asked. Mmmm. That man Columba!

Matthew 13:47-50….
In mysticism, all things are pictured ‘gathered up’ into God, as in the image of the dragnet. The language of condemnation of ‘the useless’ is difficult for us. If our lives have no creative qualities to them, there is a 'uselessness'. But what about those who are unable to be anything other than ‘useless’? Even one look of love, however, renders any myth about hell to be meaningless. As William Blake put it: 'Touch something with love and it becomes infinite.' The point of the parable is to awaken us to be of service right now.

Be alert to serving others as the imprint of My Presence here and now

Myths are means to enable you to come alive here and now. They are strong images which are dramas of reality. Being alive is heightened even more if you discover the Love of God in serving others. That is where God is because that is where Christ is. Meditation with the use of the sentence (that arises out of the dragnet story), deepens your awareness and sharpens your sensitivity to what is happening around you. Is this not using others for your own benefit? Yes! Why not?… if they are loved!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 61

2007-06-27T21:15:00.000Z

[I'm back on the pilgrimage...! Hope to catch up with you somewhere along the route.]

As I started out again on the pilgrimage this morning, I came across a young woman walking by herself. She had the most wonderful sandles on her, which I envied. 'I want ones like that'. But of course, I couldn't afford them and who was going to make them anyway? All morning I tried to suggest to Columba that he might lend me some of his money to go into a town and have sandles like that made. He looked at my feet and then at his own. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. What's wrong with the ones I have? - was the question in his eyes. Maybe the pilgrimage would be better, easier, more comfortable. The blisters would go and I would be happier. 'I tell you what!', he suggested. 'Why don't you go and learn to make sandles; pull out of the pilgrimage and then you will eventually be surrounded by the sandles you love.' 'But I want them now for the pilgrimage.' So Columba, catching up with the young woman, asked if he could buy her sandles. 'We could stretch them for you', he mocked. At least, my mind is back on the pilgrimage. Humiliated? You bet!

Matthew 13:44-46….
In the two parables about the treasure hidden in a field and the pearl of great value, there is a hunger to expend everything in order to have a single desire met. If we come clean about what we really want, two things happen. One is that we discover we don’t want it quite as much as we thought. Second is that we are not really prepared to give all in order to have our desire met. The desire for God is that which ‘costs nothing less than everything’. God wants us and pays everything including death. Unity with God is the mystery of the universe. What is our response?

I would have my desire to realise Your Presence of Light with me strengthened

Begin by asking yourself what you really want? Are you prepared to give everything for it? Then allow yourself to feel the desires that so often get in the way of your being free. You may choose to have a conversation about this with someone you trust and respect. What is the image of God that you desire? Perhaps write it down or draw it…. Create some symbol of it. Begin the exercise with the sentence so that your heart and mind are open. Take the sentence with you throughout the day and notice how other desires are noticed as a result.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 60

2007-06-18T14:50:00.000Z

[I'll sneek a quick one in before I have to take a dip out of the pilgrimage until 28th June...]
There was an inn yesterday that seemed to be so isolated. It was in the middle of a valley with no houses around - plenty of sheep - and only Columba and me! However, inside the inn, the lady pulled us, from the barrell, a long drink. We sat outside and looked across to the mountain range that we would soon have to climb. The lady appeared and asked if one of us was Columba. She handed him a huge packet tied with string - letters galore. All were marked important. If it was me I would have moaned and groaned at the correspondence I would have to deal with. Not Columba...he walked back inside the inn and simply said to the lady: 'Send them on to my address when you can.' 'But aren't there important letters in the packet?' 'Maybe', replied Columba. 'The Son of Man is here on the Pilgrimage with me and he has my first priority,' he added cryptically. 'Who's he?' enquired the lady. Columba laughed and pointed at me!

Matthew 13:36-44….
The explanation of the parable of the field is rather like someone explaining a joke. The tension is lost. The parable is all in the telling, the company, the context etc... There maybe have been a desire to convey to the readers of the Gospel important material for teaching purposes. It’s also important to remember that the Gospel was written among early Christians who had experienced the mystery of Jesus’ Resurrection. Everything in the Gospel has to be read through that perspective. The Son of Man, a figure spoken of in the Hebrew Scriptures, develops into the presence of the Risen Christ in the tiniest aspects of creativity that brings them into the fulfilment of God.

I would know the mystery of Thy revealing Wisdom within me

By entering into the depths of meditation where Christ is, there is the ‘field’ in which Christ works in the tiniest detail of your life. Nothing will remain unexposed by his loving presence. The soul becomes more and more transparent. The ‘angels’ are the messengers and the messages of your life that if you are aware of them, your spiritual life becomes the adventure of being more and more purified in this life and in the mystery [or mysteries] of life you still have to come. The sentence if used slowly enables this process to be stimulated in the depth of you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles
[Don't leave the pilgrimage. I'll catch up with you]

Matthew under the arm 59

2007-06-15T19:13:00.000Z

Columba and I wont be able to reflect on our pilgrimage until 28th June.... We have given ourselves some silence! (Sorry to our blog followers...but don't go away.... Back on 29th June)

Yesterday morning, I was with a group of people waiting outside the bread shop. Someone asked me about what was special about my pilgrimage companion, Columba. So I went on and on about his difficult and combative background; his rebelliousness in Ireland and all that... Then I spoke about his preaching and his holiness. Glazed eyes! It was as if everyone was saying to me: 'So what?' Then I remembered. So I told them of a little girl who had lost both her legs in an accident. She was being carried by her father. Columba had then turned to me and asked me to carry his rucksack as he had a sore back. I protested, but... it dawned on me... So I did. Then I spoke to someone else about my anxiety over my brother who was far away...would he pray for him and carry him? Before the day was out the pattern had spread... all kinds of people were carrying others 'loads'.... all from a little girl with no legs...

Matthew 13:31-35….
In a sense Jesus IS a parable. How do you speak of God the source of all being fully human? The paradox is too heady to engage with, other than in parables. So a tiny seed becoming a huge tree or a hidden little piece of leaven bringing about fermentation - indications of the paradox of God’s being in Jesus... Christ who is born apparently unnoticed becomes a universal realisation of God’s love. A what? No wonder Jesus spoke in parables.

I would know Your Wisdom in my heart as Your touch of Eternity

The heart is the place of hidden spiritual activity. Move there in simplicity. But spirituality is plagued by the notion that one can either fail at it or be successful. There are no measurements because it is what you are – it is the ‘being’ of who you are. When the microcosmic event of pregnancy begins there is nothing a woman can do to speed the completion of the pregnancy. In a sense that is what prayer is. Allow this sentence to help you to be simple and let God do the secret growing from what is being sown in you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 58

2007-06-11T14:06:00.000Z

The terrain that Columba and I are walking through is dusty and hot. What makes it worse is the hot wind which makes to dust feel as if it is burining into the skin. High on hillside, we came across three people, two women and a man, sitting on rocks a little way off the path. One of the man was being 'lectured' by the woman and the other man, so much so that you could hear their ranting from away down the hill. Columba stopped and looked at them. The woman shouted on him to come and help. So we both went and sat beside them. Columba was thirsty and asked if they had spare water. They were too focused on their difficulty to hear his request. 'This is my brother', said the woman. 'He is not joining in our prayers any more on this pilgrimage. He doesn't do his share of washing of clothes. He is selfish and...and...etc He is so negative about the pilgrimage that he must be attacking the holiness of it. So we are trying to persuade him to own the dark forces within him!' 'I resist your pilgrimage as well!', whispered Columba. 'Ask yourselves what is within YOU that is bringing about his response.' Columba got up quickly and wept for them.

Matthew 13:24-30….
The prophetic challenge of the Gospel is that the only enemy within us is the one we create. To root out the enemy’s weapons (the tares, the weeds) is to leave the enemy intact – within. They are not the issue. The burning by fire is the work of the Spirit within that purifies the self that is made in the image of God and consumes all the falsity that gets in the way. The parable simply points to God working within us alongside that which is destructive – not avoiding it – allowing it to be transformed by love.

Let your awareness of My creativity grow within you

The knee-jerk reaction is to find that the negative elements in you are somebody else’s fault. You have, frankly, created your own enemies. Once you see them as your friends, they lose their power! The sentence is an importance means of dropping down into the depths of your heart and becoming more and more aware of Christ working creatively within you. That process, if allowed to work and given time, of its own, reveals that which undermines your life in God. Let the negative elements within you rise to the surface gently. Take responsibility for your own enemies. Christ will transfigure them in the depths of you with the Spirit.

+Martin
Bishop of Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 57

2007-06-06T16:43:00.000Z

For months I have been on this pilgrimage with Columba and I still don't get it! He gets up early, which is sensible.... He nips down to the bread shop and brings back some wonderful hot rolls! I can smell them now! It seems always that he has been up for ages. 'How early to you get up?' He simply smiled and said, 'Early enough to be with God before you come and natter at me!' He laughed this time. Why am I making this pilgrimage with such a man? Anyway, this morning I cheated! I got up at about 5.30am and there he was sitting on a log outside the bunkhouse with scraps of paper. He had his eyes closed and he had that stillness which is not like a block of cement, but he had a suppleness, an ease to him. After a while, he became aware that I was watching him. Without turning his head, he asked what I wanted. So I asked him what the papers were. 'Well, before we left I got a brother to give me his scrappy copy of St Matthew's Gospel, which is basically in pieces! I read a passage and then allow a sentence to arise from the passage. Then the sentence takes me into the heart of silence and the Gospel.' He smiled and closed his eyes...but then added, 'How many times have I told you that now?' He's an aweful man!

Matthew 13:18-23….
In Jesus’ explanation of the parable of the sower, there may well be a process that reveals itself. Three sowings produce nothing. The seed is exposed to destructive forces through lack of understanding. There is no rootedness and there is constriction. Fruitfulness comes from energy given to understanding the Word of God, allowing it to be rooted deep within the heart and an accompanying lifestyle that is uncluttered; giving space for productiveness.

Be open to Me in your understanding. Discover Me in your heart. Work with Me in My Love.

If you are committed to the spiritual life you will give time and energy to finding God in all around you and reflecting on that finding. However, that reflection must be deepened by entering into the heart and allowing the ‘seed’ of God to be planted deeply. That activity in turn reveals an important critique of your life. It must be simplified so that the seed can be nurtured. Someone who is skilled in Spiritual Direction can help you with this process to discern ways forward. In the meantime let the three sentences work (be sown and nurtured) at depth.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 56

2007-06-04T07:20:00.000Z

Columba was tired today and went to lie on his bunk to catch up on his sleep. Well, he's not a young man. So I went into the inn to have a drink with some pilgrims whom I have come to know quite well in all these months. One of them asked me about Columba. he had heard of him and wondered what made him so special. Several times he had asked Columba for advice as to how to handle difficult situations back at home and at his work. Columba had not given the answer he wanted. The basic advice seemed to have been: 'Wait!' Soon the other pilgrims joined in the general destructive criticisms of Columba. I started to collude with them! (That aweful inclination to 'dump' my own inadequacies on someone in high esteem, particularly if that person is not present, in order to undermine, in the vain attempt to make myself feel better.) What we didn't notice was that Columba had got up from his bunk and was sitting a table by himself but within earshot. I quickly went across to him and spoke of those 'moaning' pilgrims. He smiled at me, seeing right into my soul. He knew I had colluded. So, crest-fallen I asked how to avoid getting caught in the negative slip-stream of others destructiveness - and my own. His answer? ''Wait - and you will sow the seed of love deep in the heart..."

Matthew 13:1-17….
A parable has just one point to make. An analytical approach to a parable such as this gets in the way of listening with the heart. What is more, in the case of the ‘Sower’, there is the uncomfortable sense that there is not very much we can do. The seed will be sown in you. So wait on its growth. Nature can’t be forced anyway. The power is in the waiting. The poor quality of the sowing of the other seed purely demonstrates how little we are actually in control. Waiting is the attitude of expectancy and service. The best way to serve someone is to wait on that person.

Be still and wait on my planting and growth within you

Here is an opportunity to allow all images to ‘fall away’ from your mind. The seed is somehow in the mystery of God sown deep in you. The planting is the work of Christ deep within you. Let Him get on with His work. Be as still as you can and trust the growing. Use the sentence rhythmically and in time with your breathing. This helps to ease your mind of wanting to control and to create images that simply get in the way. Listening is only listening if you don’t put your own construction on what you hear!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 55

2007-05-28T12:06:00.000Z

For over a week now, a young man has been catching up with us, everywhere we stop. Columba is getting more and more irritated with him. So this morning, just as we were setting off (lovely breakfast of bread and thick milk!), he approached us and started to ask whether he could join us permanently on the pilgrimage. 'No!', Columba said sharply. Frankly, I was disturbed by the apparent unkindness. 'But I want to learn more and more about the spiritual path of following the Gospel of Matthew from you. You, Columba, have become so vital in giving me encouragement and strength to face the journey. In fact, I regard you as a friend. More than that.. I want to be one of your students.' 'You will be a student of mine if you leave me alone, learn the Gospel of Matthew, enter deeply into prayer and follow Christ by living the Christ-like life.' I was rather cross about this actually! 'Well... dependence has only any meaning in God. Certainly not in or on me!' 'Should I leave you then Columba?' I smiled.... Columba smiled too.

Matthew 12:45-50….
In early Christianity it took a while to articulate, the actual unity that is to be had in relationship to God. The prophetic nature of Christianity is that all exclusive behaviour and culture, particularly familial and religious is challenged. This is disturbing to any society. Christianity is not about taking people away from their families into some group. Christian history has had too much that. The reality is that in God we are all one – but we behave as if we are separate from each other.

Let your heart be one with all around you through union with Christ

To be detached from exclusive relationships demands huge courage and possibly rejection. However, remember love cannot be love if it includes possessing the one I love. Christ did not shun his Mother and his brothers. He knew he was already one with them, even if they didn’t. That oneness he also has with you right now. Enjoy it in using this sentence. You may not feel any unity, see it, it taste etc… Meditation is about waiting and acceptance. Hold to the discipline of praying in the Unity of God. Who are you intimate with and how much do you want to possess them? Pray for freedom from that desire to possess and your love will grow as your Unity in God grows in this life and beyond….

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 54

2007-05-24T10:31:00.000Z

News came to us this morning just before we set out walking, that fighting had broken out in a neighbouring country. Refugees were making their way across the border. There was a real fear that the fighting would spread. Columba listened to the person carrying the news with close attention. I turned away with my heart pounding. Frankly, I was terrified. However, I was too ashamed to show it to any one, including Columba! He found me in a little church on the outskirts of the village. There I was kneeling, trying to pray and all I could feel was the terror at the pit of my stomach and a sense of shame. There was no point in hiding any more. So I told Columba of my fear and my shame. 'Why shame?' he asked. I replied with a low and quivering voice, 'Your first thought was for the refugees and those who would be injured or killed. Mine was for myself: would the fighting spread onto the pilgrimage? Would I be at risk? Would panic break out - including in me? I am worrying about myself.' So he asked me to name ALL my fears in this situation to him. I put my head against his shoulder at the back of the church and wept like a 6 year old child.... Was this the shoulder of Christ?

Matthew 12:43-45….

Most people in our culture have difficulty with belief in external spiritual entities such as demons, angels etc… Therefore, it would be all too easy to overlook the vital spiritual significance of this passage. Artists frequently talk about ‘muses’ that inspire and ‘the black that dog’ (Winston Churchill) that depresses and kills inspiration. One way of looking at the passage (but, by no means, the only one!) is to see ourselves with internal 'sub-personalities' that we can allow to have too much control over us – internalised ‘voices’ from our development – fear, power, deception etc… Protecting ourselves from the power of these is one of the tasks of spirituality.

That my inner life may be strengthened for the service of others

One of the ways of protecting yourself from the power of 'sub-personalities' from your own history (the ones that we might call 'demons' - that have a destructive quality to them) is to accept them and understand them, for example, the 'little boy or girl' afraid from an experience of childhood that still can control some of your responses. Affection can heal and even use the memory creatively. If these ‘elements’ are not accepted they can grip you and dictate your responses in ways that you do not realise. Worse they can become destructive in others lives. Use the sentence to all the Spirit of God to strengthen your inner life and be free of the power of the forces that memories can release.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 53

2007-05-19T09:35:00.000Z

This morning, Columba and got absolutely soaked! So, when the rain finally ceased at about 3 o'clock, we stopped to dry all out kit. The path is now high and we were looking over the dark grey sea, which still had a huge swell. Wonderful sight! 'Go on... take your clothes off!', Columba said. 'But what if someone comes along. What will they think?' 'Do you want to dry your clothes or catch pneumonia?' That reminded me... 'You Columba are known as a holy man!' He laughed. So I stuttered a question. 'If I did catch pneumonia, could you....?' 'Stop right there!', he barked. He was silent for a long time and, after ringing out his sodden vest, then on a muddy patch on the ground, with his stick, he drew a huge fish. Underneath he wrote; 'The Sign of Jonah'. He smiled. That's holiness.....

Matthew 12:38-42….
Insecurity [our common 'dis-ease'] leads to the desire for ‘signs’ – assurances, indications of survival. The seduction and, indeed, addiction to affirmation. Although being affirmative is a fine human quality, no affirmation is finally satisfying. To live for it as such is illusion! Three days in the belly of the whale like Jonah is all the sign Jesus gives. Swallowed, in total darkness... Lost. In parallel to other religious cultures, the ego that hunts constantly for security must ‘die’ in order that the True Self can come to birth that is ‘hid with Christ in God’. But it’s not just dying that is significant, it is HOW we prepare for our dying… so that my dying is a gift to others and it begins now.

I would be attentive to the Spirit’s reconciling and healing of Creation

‘Dying to self’ is, frankly, a tired phrase. ‘Dyings’ in the plural, of which one is my physical death, is better. Because I have not been free enough in heart to die to the hungers of my ego, I add to the damage my environment. ‘It’s my space over against yours.’ So enter into silence that is a 'dying' and wait for a moment. Look over your behaviour recently. In what ways have you wanted to exercise the power of your ego over against others – no matter how subtly? Who do you know personally or in history that has genuinely ‘died’ to the power of the ego for others? What has their life really meant? And your dying….? Is it a contribution to the care and freedom of others and creation?

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles
(I will find it difficult to add a posting for the next few days... But I'll do my best)

Matthew under the arm 52

2007-05-17T16:58:00.000Z

I looked at Columba as he got into his bunk tonight. He is getting old. My goodness! he will not be around for ever. Somehow, I had always assumed that such a man has an 'eternity' - a certainty to them. Such as Columba will always be with me in whatever pilgrimage I make. (stupid!)When he laid his head down, I heard him cough. 'Are you OK?' I asked. Although I couldn't see him from my bunk in the dark, I heard him whisper! 'Of course, I'm OK. You will have to start letting me go, you know!' 'What do you mean?' I asked anxiously. 'Well.... My coughing like my breathing will end... and then what of your pilgrimage?'

Matthew 16:6-12....
Religious certainty is destructive. To believe in a religious system that gives certain guidance leads to licence to decide others fate: anything from over-riding control, rejection, to a crucifixion - even genocide. 'That person, those people are denying my religion, therefore they are blasphemous and must be rejected.' We are hungry for certainty as if it were bread in the wilderness. We are deluded enough to believe that certainty in religion will banish our deepest secret - fear. The dangerous ‘leaven’ of religion.

Through Your Wisdom, I would realise the freedom of insecurity.

What is the gift you have received, the generosity you have experienced that has been given without any expectation - that has created a sense of freedom in you? Picture the giver and the gift. Go before Christ and 'hold' it out to Him in deep thanks. Even allow yourself to smile! What certainties have you been given? Any? Do you really want them? Generosity is an act out of uncertainty, even insecurity, otherwise it wouldn't be generosity. Now enter your prayer and experience the freedom that spiritual insecurity, uncertainty brings. (‘Blessed are the Poor in Spirit...’)

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 51

2007-05-15T11:22:00.000Z

My feet were sore yesterday, because I stumbled in a pot hole, because I wasn't looking! So i sat down to rest. Columba waited beside me and gave me a massage. Wonderful! (And me.... with my sweaty, smelly feet!) Afterwards, we prayed with this passage of Matthew. Columba, of course, as usual providing the sentence that suggested itself from the passage. Later, I asked him if there really was anyone, no matter how appalling their atttitudes and behaviour may be, who was utterly condemned. 'Oh yes!' he replied. 'Well... Mmmm.... If you are expecting me to consign someone to Hell irretrievably, then I must include myself.' He stood up. My jaw dropped.

Matthew 12:22-32….
Does denying the Holy Spirit really mean that we will never be forgiven? The forgiveness of God is the Love of God. To deny the work of the Spirit, is in fact to deny the work forgiveness and healing. It is to be in a self-imposed exile from creation because we put ourselves outside forgiveness. The sin against the Holy Spirit is not about whether I believe in God or not. What is absolutely crucial is whether I intentionally set out to destroy the economy of Love. The passage says ‘…in the this life or the next’. But!.... God will cross even my being ‘unforgiven’ in any world to come, out of love. There are outcasts around us now let alone in some vision of eternity. By responding to them in love now, I acknowledge eternity’s breaking in here now.

That I may perceive the Spirit of Forgiveness and Healing within me

To acknowledge that healing and forgiveness is happening means that you will be accepting change, transformation within you. That can be uncomfortable and bring apprehension. So you avoid it! That is, in a way, a denial of the Spirit of God. Does that condemn you to be an eternal outcast? If so there is no one acceptable to God. Christ, however, is the acceptance of God and will wait for every age you will be in, beyond your death, for an acceptance of love in its fullness. The beauty of this is awesome. Let the sentence lead you into the deep silence of this beauty! Now is the time to be truly responsive.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 50

2007-05-11T08:26:00.000Z

We went into a little Church yesterday. There was a local festival. I can't remember the name of the saint who was the focus of the celebration. At the end, as we were leaving, we couldn't help overhearing an argument between a priest and another visitor. It seemed as if the visitor objected to what the priest said. I can only guess that it was one of those pathetic arguments between different styles of Christianity. Inevitably, like all such arguments, someone was 'right' and someone was 'wrong'. I spoke to Columba and asked him to go and put both of them right. He didn't. But he went to the back seats and knelt in prayer. Eventually the arguers noticed and fell silent themselves. They also noticed that Columba's back was rising and falling as if he was having difficulty in breathing. I rushed to his side. He was weeping. The priest and his adversary came to help. Nothing was said, but we all realised what was the cause of his sadness which he took into prayer and silence.

Matthew 12:15-21….
Christians have all too often distorted the Christ-like life. Christendom can seem distinctly noisy and even egotistically strident whereas Christ makes few if any assumptions. And yet, there is a strange paradox, the gentlest Christians have often been the strongest – the ones whom we have to strain to hear have spoken loudest. Jesus wanted to avoid too many assumptions being made about him, as his Father’s Kingdom was not yet realised. This psychology is particularly difficult in our age when celebrity is revered and yet there is a vacuous quality to it .

Come to me and I will give you the Spirit of Love, Truth and Service

The desire to have my ego fed is so strong and yet can never be satisfied. It becomes an addiction particular in religion, where some personalities want to have spiritual power. The Kingdom of God is the 'otherness' of God. There are tastes of it now, but there is always a part of the ‘kingdom-process’ that is not yet…. So establish silence that in itself is a placing of the attention beyond the desire of satisfaction. By the service of others, the feeding of that love through silent meditation, I enter into the life of Christ the powerless one whose authority was of God.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 49

2007-05-08T09:44:00.000Z

Today it poured! So we sat under a blanket on a bench beside the path. The bench was made of old planks and logs. As I sat, a splinter (The Scots call it - a 'scelf') lodged itself in an unmentionable place! All Columba could do was to joke. 'Ah! Now we are getting down to the bottom of things!' Grrr! Two young people came to sit beside us. They were beaming and full of praise and thanks for Columba. He gets it all the time! Columba told them quite firmly that they must constantly recollect their healing experience from the day before. Later he told me that the two young people had been walking for days arguing sometimes and in cold disdain for each other the rest of the time. I knew that they were near to us on the walk, but I didn't notice their behaviour. 'How did you get involved?' I asked rather resentfully. 'I don't know. They simply stopped, waited for me to catch up and asked if I could help. All I did was to listen to them, look at them and love them.' I so resent Columba's 'aura'. I burn with desire to have the admiration of others on this pilgrimage - so much so, that it is poisoning me.

Matthew 12:9-14….
The slightest hint that someone experiences the presence of God, or is admired and wanted by others…. then I feel that appalling poison of jealousy. That’s the Pharisee in me. What can I then do to undermine that person and stifle freedom? Luckily not everyone has this neurosis! Then ‘my withered hand’ – will I have the courage to stretch it out before Christ, exposing the dark decaying part of myself? The man in this healing story says nothing. Nothing need be said when I expose the weakest part of myself. He had little to lose. Losing face is what stops me.

Receive the gift of Faith and stretch out your life before My Healing Love

What do you feel to be ‘withered’ in your life? Look at your hand and ‘see’ it there. What do you feel about it? It may not be something in you that cries out for physical healing. It may be a relationship, a memory, a fear….etc Now stretch out your hand. Then with the other hand use the sentence deeply. Receive. Then put your hands gently together, lay them on your lap and let Christ come to you through your repetition of the sentence.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles