Matthew under the arm 74

[I am taking some 'time-out' on the Pilgrimage with Columba...just two weeks. Some reading, some thinking, some looking.... I WILL BE BACK WITH COLUMBA ON 16TH SEPTEMBER. I hope you'll join me again, maybe for the first time! Thank you for your company!]

We decided two days ago to do some night walking. The moonlight and starlight was sufficient for us to find along a path which was clearly marked in any case. As we left our lodgings, there out in the middle of the street, was a brawl. Inevitably, a crowd was forming with much shouting on behalf of one or other of the brawlers. Fists flew and blood poured from broken noses. The shouts got louder. I was appalled at the behaviour of the crowd. However, I had ignored the fascination in my heart. Sweating with rage, I shouted to no avail for the fight to stop. Nothing happened. There on the other side was Columba who had wormed his way through the crowd into the clear space. He stood still with his eyes closed. For a while he was pushed and shoved in an attempt to get him out of the way. I was terrified for his safety. The fight stopped and the crowd stared at Columba in amazement at his calm presence. Prophecy by silence. We started walking....

Matthew 16:1-4...
To develop ‘the eye of the heart’ (Ephesians 1) is to have the insight of a prophet. Prophecy is the gift of seeing what is happening around us in this present moment and finding God in that...no matter how consolate or desolate the experience. This will lead to having insight on behalf of others (and for ourselves!) that may be hopeful, decisive or even disturbing. Jonah was swallowed by a whale for three days (a convincingly desolate experience!) and then spewed on to a beach (consolation?) - death and resurrection. What seemed a curse was in fact a blessing. But insight may in some cirucmstances lead us to the reverse conclusion!

In the reality around me, let me be know Your Truth and Your Wisdom

Discerning the presence of God in every circumstance may seem extreme, if not impossible. It is not the same as giving reassurance. Christian spirituality is not about experiencing ease or even peace. Try taking into your prayer (with the sentence) an experience you have had recently; some event or exchange that you have observed. Ask to perceive the Spirit of God in it. Don't force the prayer. Wait and watch. Write down what you felt in your prayer and wait on clarity emerging.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 73

(For those of you who have just come across this blog, this is a 'pilgrimage' I am making with St Columba, the great early saint of Christinaity in these islands. The destination will reveal itself! Each blog posting has a story of the pilgrimage that relates to the Gospel passage. The piolgrimage involves walking with Matthew's Gospel ... 'under the arm.)

Today, at about noon, I was so hungry! I had travelled with Columba for two days without provisions. Given the weather, water was not a problem! Beside the road was a rather run-down farm. So I knocked on the door and asked if the old man had any spare bread and vegetables to sell. His toothless smile was wonderful! He summoned us in to share his table, which of course, didn't amount to much. When he put a plate of soup in front of us, I couldn't help wondering about the contents! He held his hands up for some silence. Columba frowned at me for looking so critical. The old man simply said: 'God. Jesus. Spirit. These two pilgrims... gifts for the end of my days. Thank you.' A table in the wilderness indeed! Eucharisting...thanking indeed!


Matthew 15:32-39....
This story might be a repetition of the previous feeding story. However, it may be Matthew's intention to be insistent on the constant importance of feeding in Jesus' work.... hospitality in an inhospitable place. Again Jesus is available where convenience is not considered. This demands a simplicity of life-style in order to be thus available. There is a different 'take' on the first story's 'blessing' of the food. Here Jesus ‘gives thanks’. Despite the adverse circumstances, Jesus' blessing is deepened by thanksgiving. We are summoned to make sure that thanksgiving receives priority in all places. That is the inspiration, of course, of the Eucharist...Blessing, breaking, giving thanks and giving... The fundamentals for those who follow Christ that we may be the presence of Christ.

I would find Your Presence in all things, and so give thanks.

In the busiest time of this day, pray briefly and intensely that you may find God in the most crowded moment...in the detail of your day. Then, in your journal note down what you experienced as a result of that intention. It is essential to have the habit of silent contemplative prayer that your 'spiritual antennae' maybe awake to find God. So enter into this sentence with expectation and imagine you were establishing the skill of a bird-watcher...!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 72

In the corner of the room yesterday evening, kneeling on his bunk bed, there was Columba. His eyes were half open looking at the simple little wooden cross he always carried in his pocket. He had laid it on the end of his bunk. There was a simplicity, almost a naivety in his face. It was a captivating, even a beautiful sight. He didn't know I was watching. However, I felt a sadness. I realised he had a love in him which reached away out beyond him.... I have always throughout this pilgrimage assumed he had a special love of me. But somehow at that moment, I wondered whether I had 'lost' him. After a while, he rose and went to wash. He had left his cross on the bed. I picked it up and turned it over. There, scratched on the back of the words were the words as if spoken by Christ: 'My Love for you is for your love for others.'


Matthew 15:29-31....
‘By the shores...on to the mountain.’ Two images are striking here - of Jesus being 'on the edge' - the shores - with those who were probably pushed to the edge by their circumstances, and moving up to where Jesus was sitting: a sense of relaxation and freedom to be open that being on a mountain brings. The healings give a freedom to speak, a loosening of being confined, the ability to have the wider view, to walk and be expansive. So healing is not freedom ‘from’ but ‘for’...as love in Christ is not love 'of' but love 'for'....

Come and be still with Me. Be healed by Me, so that you can be free for Me.


The tragedy is that religious practice has brought some to illness and it has been the cause even of hideous brutality, instead of bringing freedom and adventure. Religion is open to being coercive, even in subtle ways. Spirituality draws you into freedom - to be who you are - your 'real' self. In the depths of your prayer, speak from your heart to God. Straighten your body out and be erect whatever your posture is. Have in front of you a painting or an icon and look with attention. Then stand up for a moment or two and walk slowly and carefully for a few steps. Focus on your movement. Adore this little experience of freedom - God- that you have had. Then settle down with the sentence to deepen the experience.

+Martin
Argyll and The Ilses

Matthew under the arm 71

The sea lay below us this morning. The air was so still, that our breathing seemed an interruption! It was as if nature itself was calling us to be silent. There was, it seemed, no alternative but to sit down on the grass bank, between the gorse bushes! Columba held up his left hand and asked me to do the same. 'Let me teach you a simple way of praying. It's called "The Jesus Prayer". First, allow your eyes to look around you and take in all you see. Breathe easily and calmly. Try to be still and not fidget.' (That always irritates me. Columba always sees my physical, not to mention mental agitation! But I must say that practicing stillness everyday... its beginning to work.... stillness, I mean... as for the inner agitation, well...) 'So... say "Lord, Jesus Christ" on your thumb; "Son of the Living God" on your index finger' "Have mercy" on your middle finger (asking for love for ALL), "on me" (moving inwards to forgiving love for yourself), a sinner (acknowledging the distance you make between yourself and the practice of the Love of God. Then repeat the exrecise until it becomes part of your inner rhythm.' 'For how long?' I asked plaintively. 'For the rest of your life! But 20 minutes will do in the meantime!' Mmmm.


Matthew 15:21-28...
'Lord... have pity on me!' By now, our experience of Matthew will have revealed a disturbing recurrence: how much the participants in the Gospel are desperate! The woman is a Canaanite -two experiences of being rejected: gender and race - female and non-Jewish. The desperate don't even mind insults. If you are starving and naked you have nothing to lose. Is Faith difficult for us because we have too much to lose?


Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me.


The sentence is that which is known as the 'The Jesus Prayer'. It comes from the Eastern Orthodox tradition of prayer. In turn, this sentence was evolved from desperate prayers in the Gospel, including the woman's prayer in this passage. There are those who use little else in their praying. The first half is adoration and the second half is the humility of desperate beseeching. You can 'say' the first half with the in-breath and the second half-with the outb reath. You can also fel the pulse oon your wrist and say the prayer in rhythm with it. All Christian spirituality is there! Take it with you everywhere.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 70

I walked out of the inn and stumped down the road. Well, I was tired. We had three days walking and nowhere to stay, sleep or rest. Even Columba was getting scratchy! (Even Columba? Come to think of it he can be waspish quite often! Perhaps all saints can sting!) After an hour and half, I went back and there was Columba sitting by the log fire staring at the flames. 'Do you want to walk on your own from now on?' I asked in a cold chilling tone. 'Why are you so angry with me?' Columba asked. 'Because you never take anything I say as being of much use or importance. I want to be taken seriously as teacher like you.' 'If it wasn't for you', he replied in a quiet measured tone, 'I would not be able to pass on the Christian practice to other pilgrims. Your love and care for me is not in what you say but in what you are. But, if I am not supporting you, forgive me. You are free to be on your own. You don't need me.' I wept. Why was I so full of self-pity? Columba was in tears too. I had wounded him!

Matthew 15:10-20....
'Whatever comes out of the mouth....' A word can either bring the beauty of creation into being or it can set in motion cold or hot rejection. The former comes from love; the latter from fear. If I speak from love, then it may be beautiful or it maybe hard, but not destructive. From fear, my words will wound or even alienate because of my desire to protect myself. If a group or nation behaves like this.....!


I would have my words drawn from Your Loving in the heart of me.

Do not dwell on what you may have said that has hurt. Instead, recollect an event where what you said, delighted or released love in someone no matter how small it may seem. As you enter meditation picture the scene you were in and enjoy it. Then give thanks. This will help you move into your still centre, where you can use the sentence to strengthen the creativity of your words.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 69

For the first time on our pilgrimage, Columba and I entered a city. It had a beautiful Abbey church. We both stood in the nave, which was full of pilgrims gazing at the share height of the vaulting. Columba left me and went over to a mammoth pillar - and lay down on the paving! Embarrassing.... He put his hands behind his head and crossed his legs as if he were about to have a doze. I walked on not wanting to be associated with him! But it was too late. A pilgrim approached me and said, 'You're a friend of his, aren't you?' I felt like St Peter in the courtyard when he was asked whether he knew Jesus. Would I disown Columba? So I gritted my teeth and took the pilgrim by the elbow over to Columba. 'Lie down and look up!', Columba smiled. 'Come on! Don't worry about what others think!' So we did.... 'Imagine that we were looking up and we can see the whole of unknown and known Christians filling the huge space.' Columba jumped to his feet. 'Remember,' he said, 'Don't try too hard to get your Christianity right.... You can't do it without them.... or these!' 'Who are these?', I asked.... We walked back outside the Abbey... Beggars at the door... Columba sat down on the pavement with them and told jokes and gave them some bread. 'These!... yes... The Church...!' he laughed again.


Matthew 15:1-9....
Tradition has two creative functions. One is to keep us in touch with the 'stream of consciousness' in the activities and thoughts of our history as God is found in them. The other is to enable appropriate change to be made in the light of experience. For tradition to be maintained for its own sake can so often be a means by which an organisation, for fear of losing cudos and power, attempts to maintain control. History is littered with religious organisations becoming self-serving.

I would discover You in the experience of our forebears and in Your continuing revelation.

Have a conversation with someone you trust about that which makes you feel afraid. What habits do you hold on to out of fear? What affects do they have on others? In what ways do you feel free to be flexible with tradition for the service of others? In what ways is there is movement in your experience away from 'The Body of Christ' to seeing your spiritual journey purely in personal terms. Now enter into the silence with the sentence that you may be in touch with long tradition of contemplative prayer. Allow yourself to be challenged at depth, to be transformed so that you can help others to face change.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 68

[I have been away from the pilgrimage for well over a week. Maybe you're still there! Thank you]

Columba had dark rings around his eyes this evening. He was exhausted. 'What are you looking at?', he said to me as if he were being dismissive, but yet there was a note of gladness that I had recognised how he was feeling. I told him that he needed to rest. 'No! I don't need rest.... I had a terrible experience earlier today. I became angry and resentful when speaking to a priest. He sneered at my attempts to remind him of his vocatrion to prayer and to love. I was pompous and condemning in my tone. What I realised, of course too late, when the priest had long walked away from me, was that I was seeing in him that which was lacking in myself.' I took Columba's right hand and he took my left and I gently soothed the back of his hand. He reciprocated. After a while we laughed heartily. The touch and the laughter of healing....

Matthew 14:34-36....
Begging... Touch… When people starve, they beg. Prayer as begging we have come across before. It feels demeaning. That doesn't matter when we are desperate. Maybe Christianity is the religion for the desperate. Even those with no religious belief will touch something if it has a sacred history. Many of us are desperate to touch the famous. Touching Christ is the recognition of his presence in reality around me. Christ in flesh and blood. Touch Him!


Feel My Presence in reality around you



With someone you know, love and trust, hold each other's hands and touch them gently - massage them and explore them. This too is intimacy in prayer. It is loving. Then by yourself in silence become aware of your desire to beg - really beg God to answer your prayer. Feel it. Don't let analysis cloud your desperation. Imagine yourself reaching out to 'touch' Christ and 'feel' his strength and love 'massaging' you, loving you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles