Matthew under the arm 34

Columba was very tired yesterday. Why? Well, he didn't realise but I had watched him get out of his sleeping bag in the middle of the night and stand by the door of our bunk house and look out on the darkness. He was whispering as if in conversation. I was desperate to know what he was whispering? I could make out questions that sarted with 'Why?' or 'How?'.... So no wonder he was tired. His prayer was a question session with God. As we sat by the fountain today at the end of our day's walk, he was enjoying a tomato. Slowly four or five folk from the town came and sat with us, intrigued to know who we were. Before long, Columba was asking them questions about themselves, what was important to them, what was difficult for them. By placing himself 'at their feet', he had, like Christ, reshaped authority.

Matthew 9:1-8….
Christ knew what was going on in the hearts of the ‘scribes’. They wanted to be forgiven but because of their ‘position’, they felt only threat. Too much 'face' would be lost. Christ sees the ‘fault-line’ through all of human personality. In this story a paralytic who is in desperate straights, has little, if anything, to hide. The ‘fault-line’ is obvious because truth is obvious in the sick. Christ’s authority to forgive and heal, comes from the diseased through the poverty of their circumstances, because Christ is that poverty. Those who are not aware have not the poverty to face their desire for forgiveness. They do not (we do not?) allow Christ in. To ask you to forgive me, I have to give away so much power and what I call self-respect.

I would have Your gifts of forgiveness and healing through Your Christ arising within me

Imagine yourself carried in front of Christ. Who is carrying you? Which of your friends would do that for you? See them. Let them love you. Imagine Christ meeting with you intimately; looking at you and wanting to meet you in your sense of loss and pain, which tells him something of the real you. There is a poverty in your circumstances, no matter how rich you may be in some of your circumstances. Christ is not just near you, but within you. He is rising with your feelings and transforming them. With the sentence, give your prayer time for this to happen.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 33

This morning, Columba and I passed a memorial to those who were massacred in a village for their beliefs. The list on the stonework seemed to be endless. Tears came to his eyes as he looked around him. It was as if he was imagining the appalling end of an almost forgotten people. I began to ask him about what he was thinking. He merely put his hand up as if to silence me. We walked on for the rest of that day in that silence. Over supper, I insisted that he told me what he had been thinking about. 'Christ went with them into their hell. Maybe these good people like the swine were carrying our destructiveness for us', he replied. 'I was journeying with Christ as I prayed for them.' I asked him what the prayer was for. 'For?', he replied rather tetchily.... 'When you and I go through another village tomorrow, on our pilgrimage, we must be alive to the roots of destruction. The Gadarene swine with Christ carry that destructiveness that is even in us.' 'In you?', I asked Columba. 'Yes. In me!'


Matthew 8:28-34….
The details of this healing are disturbing and may seem offensive. The two men recognise Jesus – and in the mythology of the 1st century, he is the one at the end of time who commits them to hell. Here is Jesus before the time expected. Instead they ask that they be sent into a herd of swine. The story is about a ‘descent into hell’. The presence of swine indicates that this was a non-Jewish region. Think of the significance of swine for the people of the Middle East now. So there is a double alienation – and Christ enters both with his presence. There is no darkness, no torment, no alienation that he has not already entered. This is also might be seen as a batpismal story, anticipating Christ's deah and resurrection. The swine career down into the water and are lost.... Christ is the one who regains beyond our comprehension.

In the rejected and alienated, find Me and serve Me.


Emptiness of belief and absence of God often afflict those who pray. The God of love is paradoxically present then. There is no experience, no place, not even hell itself that he has not already been. Allow the detail of this Gospel narrative to become part of you – even to the point of allowing yourself to charge down into the sea with the swine. Then using the sentence you can in the depths (literally!) of prayer come close in your imagination to those who are alienated – excluded for whatever reason from communities.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 32

Towards the end of the day and I am desperate for a wash! Columba sits at the edge of a loch and dangles his feet in the water. I asked him why he didn't take his sandles off (the walking ones, you understand!). He replies, 'My feet smell!'. So I reminded him about someone close to Jesus who said that he would not only have his feet washed but all of him. 'Good idea'. So he took all his clothes off and plunged into the river. Sheepishly, like some prudish school boy (which is probably all I am at heart!), I slipped into the river and almost had an arrest from the chill. Whoops and shouts and laughter. Close by, a monk thin and serious-looking appeared from behind a wall and shouted: 'I'm trying to say my prayers. So shut up!' Columba simply smiled and shouted even louder, 'Come on. Get in and learn to pray from the heart.' 'Who do you think you are?', said the monk. I didn't like to tell him!

Matthew 8:14-27….
Jesus appears to be ‘done to’ rather than working to a schedule. He restores, recreates circumstances to their true nature – a disease, an inner disturbance and an outer distress – become means of service to God. ‘Leave the dead to bury the dead’, he says – a graphic shock that wakens the disciples up to the necessity of determination to be single-hearted. The healings are about giving greater opportunity for people to be single-hearted in their service of God and therefore of others.

I would listen for Christ in each moment and serve Him in others



The Gospel narrative portrays the divine culture into which you are being brought. Prayer then is a co-operation, a collaboration with the Spirit of God that is bringing you into that divine culture. There are three parts to this meditation. 1. In your listening to others, to the world around you - its beauty and its harshness - what points you towards God’s love and desire for healing? 2. Acknowledge where it is hard if not impossible to listen for God. 3. Listen now to Christ in you. Use the sentence to still your mind and heart and just be there in your listening.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 31

Two days ago, Columba and I came into a largish town on our pilgrimage. 'This is a drab lookming place,' I said softly. Columba turned round sharply and with a sharp tone in his voice said to me,'Drab? How do you know the hearts of these people?' That shut me up. We were looking for a place to spend the night and it was getting dark and cold. On a side street, there was a boy lying on the ground being kicked by three others. He tried to draw himself into a ball in order to protect himself. I stopped, petrified. Columba went towards them. he was shouted at not to get involved. Columba fell to his knees and began to weep with his head bowed. The three boys turned to Columba and started to laugh. 'I beg you in the name of the God'... You can imagine their response. However, their laughter stopped and they became embarrassed at this strange man kneeling in the middle of their street. Doors opened and people came out to watch. 'I beg you to stop kicking this boy,' Columba persisted. The bystanders grew in number, but the kicking stopped. I became acutely embarrassed and frightened. Drawing Columba to his feet, I said to him, 'Come on. We need some rest'. I breathed a sigh of relief when we left the street. But I couldn't help looking back at the spot - where Columba knelt....


Matthew 8:5-13….
Christianity - the religion of the alienated; the outsider; the exiled – never quite on the inside of the story. Resentment can, however, breed the desire to undermine others that we maybe on the inside. The Centurion, although a Roman officer, knew he was an outsider to Jews. And he was desperate! His servant was in pain. Resentment is a waste. ‘Just give the order, that’s all’. If your desperate then your prayer is simple. Where is Christ? Among the desperate – the disenfranchised who refuse to give way to resentment.

I would bring you to wholeness that My Truth be revealed in you

If you are desperate you will beg – you have nothing to lose. Maybe you have a desperation now. Name it – place it before Christ. See Him right in front of you – his face, his eyes, his mouth. Beg. He knew how to! In prayer, no one is watching – judging – measuring your qualities. They don’t matter. Then calm your body, your breathing, your mind and then allow the sentence drop into your heart. You will through your begging have opened it up in a way that makes prayer deep.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 30

There was a gate through into a field which was lying off its hinges. Columba and I tried to put it back. But it was too heavy even for two of us. I called Columba a 'wimp' and we messed around in a mock boxing match, laughing our heads off! We heard a groan coming from the wall beside the gate, and there was boy in tears. 'He's broken his leg', I shouted. The boy had tried to jump the gate earlier and hadn't quite made it. Columba bent down looked at the leg and said to the boy, 'Look at that rabbit over there...' As the boy tried to look, Columba gave his leg a quick pull..... There was a scream.... 'It's not broken', said Columba quietly. The boy looked at Columba in amazement and got up gingerly totry his weight on his feet. When he looked up, he said thank you. But then he realised that C0lumba had already left and was almost 400 yards away.

Matthew 8:1-4….
Why Jesus wanted no one to know about his healing miracle – curing a man of skin-disease – may seem puzzling. However, all the time in this scene, we are drawn to God. Miracle-working attracts adulation which detracts from Jesus who is summoning us to take responsibility for ourselves. God is present in Jesus and totally so. God is as he is in Jesus. Christ who heals is the Christ who is also crucified. The crucifixion rubs out stardom - celebrity. The dynamic of the culture of love is from God. The healings are foretastes, trailors of a new culture. We are drawn to look beyond this moment in hope not a hero Christ, but in ourselves.

Awaken me to Thy Presence. Heal me in Thy Christ. Enliven me in Thy Spirit


Take responsibility for the God-given gift of hope and healing within you. Move into pray; move into receive the sacrament of His Body and Blood – in order to leave and find the Love of God ‘out there’. The sentence (or sentences!) are trinitarian – the Creativity of God present now (Father); the healing of Christ happening now (The Son) and the energy that keeps hope alive (The Spirit) expecting the fulfilment of love beyond this moment in the mystery of God. Repeat the short phrases and then remaining in silence.

Natthew under the arm 29

Yesterday evening Columba and I went into a little pub, to have a glass of beer and sausage roll. We sat down by the peat fire. After he had warmed his hands, Columba pulled out his copy of Matthew's Gospel. He drews his chair close to me and asked me to read this passage from Chapter 7. He asked me if I regarded him as having authority. Of course, I wouldn't be on this pilgrimage if I didn't regard Columba as having authority! "What about your authority?" he asked with a wry smile. A stuttered and coughed, slightly embarrassed. He smiled and closed the Gospel and put it away. We both fell silent and relaxed by the fire.


Matthew 7:21-28….
Those with authority have two vital qualities. One is authenticity: the inner life is intergrated with how they actually live. Second is freedom: there is no desire to manipulate responses or to impress. With this authority, there is no need let alone desire to apply pressure. Christian language, however, is punctuated with words such as ‘Lord! Lord!’ The tragedy is that the paradox of Jesus 'Lordship' which is expressed through service and crucifixion, is so often lost in the desire to see 'Lordship' as dominance. [It is worth noting the root of the word 'dominance'.]However, there is little point in talking about ‘Jesus’ if our lives do not have authority. I have an uncomfortable question. Somebody who actually forgives - who actually lives for others, does that person need to say anything about God or Jesus? I, for one, want to know what gives the impetus to that persons authority.


Deepen your silence in Me that you may practice My Loving



This meditation is not about power over others. It is about authority which allows you to be free of wanting to impress others including God! In a strange way, you may use the word ‘God’ or ‘Jesus’ less and less, but when you do, it will be in freedom and will have the ring of authenticity. Silence needs to be practiced so that you can realise the gift of the Spirit within which gives authentic freedom to love without wanting to manipulate.


+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 28

It feels as if we have only started this pilgrimage - and yet it's being going on for ages! Columba's got me saying the Divine Office with him every day. As for the little silent moment of prayer and meditation, I just don't know what to do, except think about where the next sandwich is coming from. Yet another 'Magnificat' at the end of a long day's walking does not fill me with glee! "Come o Columba! I want something a little more exciting and energising to pray with..." "Well. What do you want?", he replied with a slight irritation in his voice. "I want to have that sense that you have, Columba - the intensity of your commitment, the closeness you seem to have with God. Actually, I want to be like you..." Columba's face fell. "Today", he said looking intently into my eyes, "You will walk by yourself. You lead the way. You know the route. I'll follow two miles behind you."


Matthew 7:13-20….
Going through a 'narrow' gate demands concentration. You will have to go through it by yourself! The contemplative life demands that we have courage and trust to enter the darkness of prayer. No one else can make that decision for us. It is the entry into the kingdom, the culture of God’s love that is Christ-shaped – death and resurrection. If I give myself over to others to do the work for me then I turn them into false prophets and there’s not enough room through the gate.

Be aware of My Truth and live in My Way each day


Asking for guidance from others is important as long as you recognise that you are the one who must work in prayer. Trying to be others because you admire them, or because you ought to do what they suggest, is to constrict your way through the ‘gate’. You've put on too much weight! So, recollect someone who has given you important guidance in prayer and the Christian life. Then let them go and let your gaze be on Christ. This is important because only you can take responsibility for life. This demands courage, discipline and brings with it freedom and strength.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 27

Towards evening, yesterday, Columba who had been quiet all day, was standing looking out over a view along the path that wound along the coast. It was beautiful sight indeed. He stopped, with tears in his eyes. 'I miss her', he was whispering to himself - or so he thought! 'I miss her terribly'. Columba got a fright when he realised that I had overheard him. 'Who do you miss?' It took him some time to answer. He spoke of someone he had loved and who loved him deeply back in Ireland. He could see her face now and the way in which she had reached out to him and his troubled heart. Why should this revelation of the private life of the saint surprise me. Columba is a passionate man, he has chosen the passionate path to leave home and walk with Christ and the people of this strange land - and with me? But that doesn't mean he must goudge out of his heart the tenderness of a love that will remain with him for ever. He looked at me and laughed with that knowing laugh that I had understood. The pain of that memory is also beautiful and is to be lived now. 'I pray that I never lose the capacity of that love she taught me'.


Matthew 7:7-12
Everyone prays, whether they believe in God or not. It is a natural ‘beseeching’. There is either the prayer of loving adoration – gazing at a loved-one, asking, pleading, even begging. When we’re frightened or lost, we beg. In front of a loved one, we know what to do and be, even if we fail in the process. Likewise our behaviour must guided by the way we want to be treated. God loves us completely and without reserve or desert. The ‘Golden Rule’ in these verses is about God. How does God want to treat others?


Be still and wait on the realisation of My Will within you


Ask God for what you want. Just be yourself. Write your asking, write your begging – face it head on! ‘I want….this, that…. I want to…. I want this person to….’ Selfishness and selflessness may seem inappropriate in prayer, but wait!. You will slowly realise what lies at the heart of your asking, which is the will of God. The object of your desire becomes more and more absorbed into your Love of God as your prayer deepens. The question you are asking may become more and more refined. You will find that you engage with the question on your living which is an answering in itself.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles