Matthew under the arm 116

After all these months with St Matthew's Gospel, I had begun to feel confident in my understanding of its 'flow' and meaning. Yesterday... Well, let me explain. Two young girls joined us. They were covered in mud and were damp through. However, they were blissfully happy. They asked about myself and about Columba. I then started to wax eloquent on the Gospel of Matthew, that I was carrying. 'I have it in my heart now', I added with sickening sentimentality. So I gave them my take on the new certainty that I had of the Kingdom of God and how they ought to have the same. Columba, who was walking ahead of me, stopped when he heard me. he turned and glowered at me. 'And are you ready to be crucified? Only then claim the Gospel as a certainty. Then God will be the on ly certainty there is and, of that, you will doubt....' Silence. Did he need to embarrass me...?

Matthew 24:15-28….
Religious communication around the first century CE was often fearful and portentous. This was not surprising, given the Roman occupation, the interplay of many religious cultures in the Near East; and then the destruction of Jerusalem in 70CE. Matthew's Gospel was written after that devastating experience. In our own time, when there is uncertainty about our own culture, there are many religious leaders who attract attention to themselves, manipulating the emotions and fears of many. One of the marks of religious proselytism is its certainty. That certainty is often claimed to be basedd on faith in God, when it is often a claim about certainty in the human mind, which is very different indeed. This kind of 'certainty' is inclined to feed off (vultures) the fearful (corpses). Like others, Jesus had a prophetic sense of the terrifying implications of his times, but implored that those who followed him take responsibility for themselves and be constantly prepared for God’s kingdom and not be distracted by the opportunism of fanatics.

Let your heart and mind be awake to My Wisdom

It is important to notice that Jesus did not condemn fear. He frequently exclaimed: ‘Do not be afraid’. Everyone is afraid of something and sometime. Christ was simply acknowledging the power of fear. What matters is to recognise and understand your fears, in that way, very slowly, they will begin to have less power over you. Gradually you will begin to focus on what is really important. You will be les prone to being manipulated by those who know how to manipulate your fears. Begin your meditation by looking at that of which you are afraid. Do not try and get rid of fears or chastise yourself. Move into praying gently with the sentence. Once or twice during the day, when fears rear their heads, use the sentence and just notice how your fears operate in you. Ask God to that your fears may be used for others healing: a preparation for the Kingdom of God.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 115

The weather for the last few weeks has, on the whole, been wet and windy. Columba looked pale and tired by mid-morning. So I found an elderly couples little dwelling just off the path. Smoke was rising from the little chimney...a welcoming sight. The old man took us in and gave us some hot water to wash and warm ourselves. His wife produced soup and bread. There by the fire were four other pilgrims. Three of them were watching the fourth with awe. Columba paid little attention. After a while one of them asked Columba: 'Do you know who this is?' Silence. 'Do you not know you are in the presence of a great spiritual teacher? He knows the scriptures and knows what it is to trust in Jesus.' Columba smiled and simply said, 'I'm enjoying my soup. That's my spiritual teacher for now'.
Matthew 24:1-14….
Jerusalem was sacked in 70CE and perhaps the writer of the Gospel was feeding back that experience into Jesus’ sayings. Here we the readers of the Gospel are having our compass bearings readjusted. The Kingdom of God is beyond any temporary civilisation or political system. Fear is engendered when a status quo or ‘our’ life is under threat. By focusing on God’s Kingdom these fears then become redundant. When there is the fear of collapse on any scale, characters emerge in public who claim apocalyptic insights and powers for themselves. Our culture now has a myriad of such personalities particular in the world of 'spirituality' and 'religion' played out in the realms of fantasy and marketing.

Be still and know the Truth of My Kingdom within that frees you from fear.

What makes it difficult for you to 'name' your fears, even to yourself? Do you recognise inclinatons in yourself to shift responsibility for your fears on to something or somebody else? Who do you know that accepts you for who you are and you can speak to about your fears...? When you look at a well-known a Christian leader that you admire, what qualities does he or she have? So in the silence allow your fear to come to the surface, but do so 'in the presence' of the sentence.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 67

All day, I walked alongside a pilgrim who had just received news that his walking companion's wife had died in an accident. He had been asked to inform his companion. Eventually, we sat on the grass verge of the pathway, as his breathing was so fast that he was exhausted. He was terrified of telling his friend. For ages, it seems, I tried to talk to him and persuade him to get on with it. In fact, the pilgrim's fear was beginning to irritate me! Columba was ahead of us. So I ran to catch up with him and ask him advice. Without a word, Columba turned and came back to the frightened pilgrim. The bereaved companion approached us, oblivious of the tragedy about to be told him. Columba looked, but the frightened man simply hoped that Columba would say it for him. However, all that Columba did was to ask the bereaved pilgrim what he was afraid of. 'Not being told the truth, even if it hurts', was his answer. At that point, Columba and I left them.


Matthew 14:22-33....
In the evening, Christ prays and it is in that prayer that His realisation is deepened of the scale of fear in humanity. He doesn't condemn it, he comes to meet it where it is. Drowning is a terrifying prospect. Rejection, being alienated, feels like being drowned and forgotten. Christ comes across the water as a baptismal symbol, to 'baptise' Peter in his terror. Jesus puts his hand out and ‘lifts’ Peter. In Baptism, we have the drowning and rising of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection.


That in the depths of me You would transform my fears by Your Rising and Your Hope.

When I am afraid, I feel my breathing become shallow. It's like drowning. Jesus doesn't dismiss the fear, he points to the reality of its power and my lack of ability in relating to it. Let Christ enter into your fears. Acknowledge what they are and let Him look at them and be with them as he 'holds' you. Use the sentence to still your breathing and deepen your attention to Christ.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles