Matthew under the arm 67

All day, I walked alongside a pilgrim who had just received news that his walking companion's wife had died in an accident. He had been asked to inform his companion. Eventually, we sat on the grass verge of the pathway, as his breathing was so fast that he was exhausted. He was terrified of telling his friend. For ages, it seems, I tried to talk to him and persuade him to get on with it. In fact, the pilgrim's fear was beginning to irritate me! Columba was ahead of us. So I ran to catch up with him and ask him advice. Without a word, Columba turned and came back to the frightened pilgrim. The bereaved companion approached us, oblivious of the tragedy about to be told him. Columba looked, but the frightened man simply hoped that Columba would say it for him. However, all that Columba did was to ask the bereaved pilgrim what he was afraid of. 'Not being told the truth, even if it hurts', was his answer. At that point, Columba and I left them.


Matthew 14:22-33....
In the evening, Christ prays and it is in that prayer that His realisation is deepened of the scale of fear in humanity. He doesn't condemn it, he comes to meet it where it is. Drowning is a terrifying prospect. Rejection, being alienated, feels like being drowned and forgotten. Christ comes across the water as a baptismal symbol, to 'baptise' Peter in his terror. Jesus puts his hand out and ‘lifts’ Peter. In Baptism, we have the drowning and rising of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection.


That in the depths of me You would transform my fears by Your Rising and Your Hope.

When I am afraid, I feel my breathing become shallow. It's like drowning. Jesus doesn't dismiss the fear, he points to the reality of its power and my lack of ability in relating to it. Let Christ enter into your fears. Acknowledge what they are and let Him look at them and be with them as he 'holds' you. Use the sentence to still your breathing and deepen your attention to Christ.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles