Matthew under the arm 47

(Please escuse me! I have been away for a week on various tasks.... I'm back on the pilgrimage now. Where was I? Oh Yes!)

Two days ago, Columba was as tired as I have ever seen him. In fact, I was astonished and somewhat taken aback that he even suggested giving up. For ages, I tried to get out of him why he was so low. 'I have been trying to respond to people's questions and need for strength and, frankly, I am exhausted.' My fantasy about Columba that he could endure so much had a severe blow at that point. When we arrived in the little village in the valley that evening, I was about to take him to a little inn for something to eat and drink, but knowing that his reputation went in front of him and that he was likely to be besieged again, I tucked him up in his sleeping bag and brought him some soup, some bread and two eggs. (He loves eggs - particularly if they are hard boiled!) After Columba's snoring began, I went myself to the inn. With some wine and a little food in front of me, my neighbour asked me, 'Where's Columba?' 'Exhausted and asleep', I answered. 'The gentle and the strong will always have a great deal asked of them'. I looked at him for a while, and wondered.



Matthew 11:25-30….
Christ’s gentleness and humility led him into deep conflict with the authorities. Where these qualities are experienced, there is threat to the existing order. Gentleness and humility call into question those who idolise power and abuse it, not by forceful confrontation but by an attitude of watching and waiting. ‘Mere children’ are defenceless and at risk from the abuse of power. However, they have a directness that the truly humble retain. What is most challenging to the accepted sense of power structures is that the gentle and humble are ‘done to’ – as was Jesus.

I would wait on Your Gift to perceive and follow Your Will


Picture someone you know or about whom you have read who is or was a gentle person. Is it a quality that you admire? What were the outcomes of that quality? Look over your recent history and remind yourselves of the times that you were gentle. What were the outcomes? These were moments when you allowed yourself to be ‘done to’ rather than you taking control.... You will discover that you needed great strength! They were, as it were, outside your schedule. Now use the sentence and focus on the qualities of gentleness that you desire.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 46

Yesterday was hard. For several days, we had been walking with little food. Most of the little shops seem to have been shut or to have been low on stock. However, at luncthime, we had come across a shop that had some bread left and a crate of tomatoes. A queue had formed. Not Columba! He barged right to the front, lifted two loaves, some tomatoes and left some coins on the counter, without so much as a 'thank you'. I was embarrassed - again! Shouts and scuffling broke out as we left the shop. Columba said nothing, but took my arm and we forced our way through an angry crowd - (Justifiably angry - or so I thought!). 'Keep walking', he said firmly to me. We were followed by angry women and squabbling hungry children. We went back on the route of the pilgrimage for a few miles, to a village we had already passed through. Columba went down a lane and walked straight through an open door to a young woman with three children. I waited outside. When he came out, Columba smiled and gave me a piece of bread and two tomatoes. 'What was all that about?' I asked in some puzzlement. To feed the really hungry, you have to step over the hungry. He smiled and added with one of those irritating quotes from the Gospels: 'Beware when men think well of you.'


Matthew 11:2-24….
Sin is damage done to the self. In loving myself, I am much more open in my attitude to others. There is a distinction between being self-centred and self-absorbed. Sin comes from the latter – love from the former. Groups and communities also behave in self-absorbed ways. When they do they begin to deteriorate. Communities that love themselves, take the risk of being open to others, including strangers, invite life and adventure. To love oneself whether individually or as a community is to give of oneself with confidence and simplicity.


I would have the courage to face my sin and, in the Spirit, be transformed


Become aware of the ways in which you have closed down on others. Notice the effects of that on yourself. There is a lack of love for yourself. Write them down as simple facts without being neurotically self-critical. Don’t make plans and projects that only increase feelings of guilt. Then move on to the communities of which you are part: neighbourhood, church, association, working environment, etc. Are there ways in which these have closed down on others, have indeed been unjust in what is being said or done? Let the awareness work and watch what happens even in small ways in these contexts. Use the sentence to emphasise that transformation is not based on your efforts alone!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 45

Columba (again!) was ahead of me by about a mile today. I caught up with him only because he had stopped by a gate to stare at something. As I got closer, I realised he was looking at some flowers laid by some old walking boots. Soon I learnt that these were the boots of a young pilgrim who had been ill for years and had been determined to make a pilgrimage before death and - hadn't quite made it. He had literally dropped here. Columba was weeping. 'Did you know this person?' I asked. Columba turned to me and spoke of the young person with love. I lamely suggested that we pray. 'I am', said Columba. I wept too. Prayer. In the evening, we found a bed in the local baker's house. Columba was still weeping. The baker took Columba's hand and dragged him to his feet. 'You come too', he said to me. The three of us went into the village hall and there was some country dancing. I sheepishly looked to see what Columba might think. The baker didn't wait and dragged him into a circle of movement, rhthym and dancing. Columba turned to me: 'Mourning and now the dancing.... prayer!' The movement of God.


Matthew 11.16-19….
Dancing and mourning. Of all physical activities, these perhaps more than most, express the body’s identity with wide emotions. Letting the body move rhythmically in dancing is an abandonment to joy. Mourning is also an abandonment. It employs a letting go in loss and not pretending to be in control. Wisdom in Christ involves allowing oneself to be abandoned for, even on behalf of others.


Let My Wisdom be the foundation of your living and your actions

I imagine myself free in dancing, whether in the beauty of ballet or in the sweaty glow of country dancing with the accompanying sounds of sheer joy. I then think of myself crying with copious tears, even wailing, over a tragedy. Do not allow yourself to be judged or analysed. This is a human moment of freedom and rawness. On the basis of those feelings, enter the silence. Freedom and abandonment aid the ability of the one praying to be in the present moment.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 44

At midday yesterday, I had my back against a tree trunk. [Excellent...that wonderful sensation of back-scratching. ] I smelt to high-heavens... not having had a wash for three days. Two pilgrims came and sat beside me. One of them mentioned that he had heard that I knew the 'art of prayer' as a way of being close to Christ. I didn't show it, of course, but I felt...well, yes... good about this recognition. 'How do I pray deeply, so as to become close to Christ?', the other asked. So I set off giving them the wealth of my experience, of course! After an hour.... yes, the two still hung on my every word...Columba passed by and spread his right hand in front of me. His index finger pointed somewhere. I was puzzled. Later I asked him what he meant... [He's so irritating sometimes, this Columba!] He reminded my of the painting of Matthias Grunewald ... the retable of the crucifixion.'So what?' I asked in some impatience. 'John the Baptist looks up at Christ crucified and points away from himself,' Columba reminded me. 'Yes - with you so far', I added almost yawning. 'Well,' added Columba softly... 'John the Baptist says...in the painting as it were..."I must decrease. he must increase." I then remembered the two piligrims. 'Did I decrease?'....


Matthew 11:1-15…
‘He will prepare your way before you’. The quotation in this passage is from Isaiah. For Matthew, the key dynamic is ‘pointing’. The Old Testament points beyond itself to the coming of ‘Messiah’ – the messenger-servant. So John, as a type of Isaiah, points beyond himself to Messiah Jesus. However, it is important to observe that there are two parts to this essential pointing. The first is that the ‘pointer’ achieves the attention of those around him. Once that attention has been ‘locked-in’, as it were, he then points to Christ.


With Your Simplicity and Wisdom within me, I would point to the Love of Christ.



How attention is achieved by the ‘pointer’, depends on the individual skills and personality of the ‘pointer’ – the disciple – the ‘John-the-Baptist’. This can be from words, it can be with actions of love, it can be through stillness and prayer. The beautiful but bewildering quality of the gentle person of prayer is that he or she attracts attention not to the ego, but beyond themselves. This is why spirituality is essential. Entering into silence is to look at Christ and be looked at by Christ. If you know Christ in this intimate way, then how you point others to him ceases to be a matter of conscious ‘method’. Strangely, it is given.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 43

Columba started climbing a long hill, walking just in front of me. I am so unfit, despite the weeks we have been walking on this pilgrimage. [Well. So is Columba. His panting and puffing gives the game away!] Two women joined us at the bottom of the hill. They looked lean and agile. One of them said as she overtook me: 'Who is that man ahead of you? He really upset us... He had the cheek to ask us to stop speaking of their boss back at work so negatively when that person wasn't present to defend himself. What business is that of his?' I retorted: ''If you have something against Columba, speak to him yourself.' The two women lunged on ahead and I could see them fingering Columba in no uncertain terms. I couldn't resist it. I asked Columba later what he said to the women, 'Simple. I just asked them why they were so afraid of their boss.'


Matthew 10:34-39….
It is worth observing that there are two basic kinds of conflict: destructive and creative. The first arises from despair and fear and the second from the hope and desire for fulfilment. Religion is not about ephemeral gratification or amelioration of difficult feelings, but about the costliness of love. This can produce responses of rejection and ridicule. The language is one of waking us up to where our priority lies. The demand is that I follow Christ and it costs not less than everything….


Let your love of Me be more and more at the roots of your words and your actions



You will never be able to love God let alone anyone else enough. That is why Christianity is not a project. Projects are laid out to be achieved and finalised. Spirituality is about openness and cooperation with the God of Love within. This meditation must begin with the sentence to ensure that guilt about failure and delusions about success do not creep in…. Then ask yourself these questions: Is Christ my priority? What is the cost of this? Am I really prepared to go down that path? What help do I need? And, in any case, do I want Christ? Do not force answers, just let the questions be seeded in you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 42

Yes, I know! This is Holy Week and why am I not 'cutting to the chase' and going to the Passion Narrative? Well, you'll know this, of course, but the Gospels are written from 'beyond' the Passion. The Gospel, even this Chapter 10 passage is written from the experience of the Passion of the Resurrection. So the Passion is here in this passage, in any case! Is that not a wonderful piece of self-justification?...you might suggest. Of course! (Laughter is also 'on' in Holy Week.)
I had four people walking beside me on the pilgrimage 'leg' today. Great day. Columba was behind us, by himself, trying out a song to himself. (He makes songs and hymns up...) I was waxing eloquent on my experience of Columba and his teaching. The four were hanging on my every word. 'And what has his Christian teaching done for you?' Well, at that I waxed even more eloquent, with hand gestures. In the afternoon, the four had said farewell and carried on while Columba tried out his new song on me. (Not bad, I suppose) He was smiling, knowlingly. 'What are you smiling about?' I asked rather defensively. 'Impressive stuff, you gave that lot earlier', he commented. 'Mmm. I think I managed to get to them'. 'No you didn't', Columba replied. 'Your mask did!'


Matthew 10:26-33….
Most of us, if not all, hide parts of ourselves from others. This is because we are afraid of being exposed, being seen for what and who we really are. We set up, as it were, smoke-screens. Being made in the image of God, Christ sees through it all. All is revealed. Not just the reality of who we are but all the hidden issues of our culture. The difference is that we do not need to be afraid, because we are loved..... even in our fear!


Let the silence and the stillness bring you knowledge of My Love for you


Use the sentence for a while. Then, before you, in your imagination, is a bowl with beautiful, clear and cool water. Christ asks you to drink from it deeply. Then wash your face with the water. Feel the sensations in all their detail. Do not dry yourself. Let your skin dry naturally. You look at Christ before you. He conveys to you that this is a symbol of the water of baptism in you revealing all the darkness and fear in you with love. The water cleanses you and evaporates. Your fear is exposed in love and raised as a prayer of offering to be healed. When you leave your prayer, go and have a glass of water!