Matthew under the arm 93

For weeks and weeks now, I have been following this man Columba. Yes, I admit I am prone to sycophancy. The danger of that as a disease is that can lead to envy, and worse: jealousy...that brooding on someone, waiting on them to fail, willing them to fail...marks of my own insecurity. Of course, I had seen, on this pilgrimage, many moments of Columba's - yes - arrogance. At times, he seems to focused on the way of God, that there is a slight callousness there. Despite those, I have always envied the inner clarity and centredness. But there he was today... weeping. He had hoped I hadn't noticed. When we arrived at our accommodation, he went straight to his bunk and asked me to leave. He peeped through the slightly ajar door, having pretended to go downstairs for something to eat. 'God, I am pretending. I am pretending that I have knowledge of your love.... So many ask for my advice...and I pretend.' Jealousy and envy left me at that moment, but they were replaced by awe at the humanity.... severe holiness.


Matthew 19:16-22….
‘Perfection’ and ‘goodness’ are only possible in God. God, as Simone Weil puts it, is The Absolute Good. In saying that, though, what have we said? Greek philosophy, so influential on Christianity, saw perfection and goodness as qualities of the soul that needed to be perfected by spiritual endeavour and thought. Jesus is simply saying that perfection and goodness are impossible. In which case, following Jesus is also impossible. After all, the disciples of Jesus were hardly good, let alone perfect. So Jesus engages with the man in a manner that will waken him up to the illusion and, indeed, danger of human perfectibility. He, like us, is left with these questions: ‘Do I find God at the heart of all aspects of my life?’ ‘What are the implications of this finding in how I use my resources?’


I would find Your Light and Your Wisdom at the heart of all things

There is always ‘the never-the-last-wordness’ about things! Psychologically, there has been incalculable damage done by a Christendom that believes that it is possible to be perfect, which suggests a condemnation of those who are not. Conversely, that it is not possible for anyone to be perfect, therefore, we are perpetually subservient to the Grace of God. Both of these have the image of God not only distinct from humanity but separate. Meditation is a resource that helps you to be free of that dualism. A separate God hardly leads to the discovery of love in ‘the other’, least of all in yourself. Let the practice of silence, free you from what you ought and ought not to believe as a Christian. Let yourself be drawn into stillness. Let the sentence bring you into a process of freedom and discovery. For a start, if you are wealthy, you will waken up to the fact that it isn’t yours anyway!