Matthew under the arm 119

Yesterday afternoon, we couldn't find any inn with a bunk because the whole town was full of wedding guests. However, we were invited to attend the wedding. Outside the church, in the square there was wonderful food and dancing. Eventually, the bride came across Columba and I sitting on the wall surrounding the village fountain. She saw Columba's 'Gospel of Matthew' sticking out of his coat pocket. "What do you carry that for?" she asked almost cheekily. "Well, for the same reason as you might carry it with you everywhere. Christ is summoning you to live like him in your marriage. He loved weddings, remember. In marriage, you can learn to be a servant and to suffer on behalf of the one you love. This will lead you to be a servant and to carry the suffering of many."

Matthew 25:1-12….
In the Old Testament, the prophets guided the Hebrews to see that God’s judgement and his love were behind even the catastrophic events of their history. Messiah – a servant 'leader' - would lead the people to a new way of being in faith to God – through suffering and service. Jesus was the realisation of that hope. And so, with Jesus there would always be endings, which would be part of God’s creation and recreation history. Hence in Matthew the importance of readiness for the presence of Christ. The story about the wedding attendant locked into a tradition that living in union with God would be like a wedding banquet: the intensification of loving, serving relationships in the context of delight.

Let the Hope of bringing you into Union with Me, enrich your heart for serving Me in each moment

Despite the fact that many marriages do not work out, nevertheless the hope that they will be symbols of eternity and the delight of union is still strong in the imagination of some. The spirituality of Christianity summons you to be attentive to the potential for union in each moment. The tragedy is that the more awake you are the more you realise how many opportunities you have missed for delight and realising God’s presence. So empathise with the foolish wedding attendants! As you move into silence look at the last 24 hours and become aware of the opportunities that you have used in the most insignificant circumstances. With the sentence, move into the detail and allow God to intensify his Union within you.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 118

For some days, a young woman has been walking with Columba for most of the time in silence. It hasn't looked as if Columba has been saying much either. As for me, I have been silent also. However, mine is about having lost my voice through chest problems. My breathing has been difficult, affecting my sleep as well. For mile after mile, the two of them seemed to exchange little but the occasional glance or smile. Yesterday when we stopped for some bread, cheese and some fruit, I turned to her and asked with a rather painful whisper, why she hadn't been saying much to Columba, let alone asking him questions. 'I have been trying to learn from him how to watch and to listen.' 'But, there has been no conversation to listen to', I added in puzzlement. 'Yes, there has been listening to the silence.' What was she talking about!? Columba smiled at me. 'Remember, silence is the gift of God. It is not the absence of sound. It is gift. It comes with the gift of simplicity. And in explaining that to you, I have said too much!'


Matthew 24:37-44….
Jesus was not so much concerned with the actual events of a devastating end to history. The fact that it can happen at any time - ‘momento mori’ - calls for a constant awareness. This calls for simplicity. The speculations of enthusiasts for apocalyptic events also distracts from the crucial issues of ‘this’ moment. There have always been Christians who have lived a life of simplicity; who have followed a vocation, 'an option' to be poor in order to be awake to however the presence of God is to be discerned in ‘this’ moment.


I would have my life simplified by the indwelling Spirit of awareness of Your call to me in each moment


Look around your room now. How encumbered are you by ‘things’? The vocation is to be ready and awake enough to discern God’s presence in your life and the lives of others. What gets in the way of that? Can you do something about it? Seek guidance from a spiritual director of skill otherwise this exercise can be nothing other than a plunge into guilt. On the other hand, you can easily avoid the uncomfortable question. However, some ‘things’ are for sheer enjoyment. They can be means of discerning God’s presence. The issue is whether you are free to have them or not to have them. It is identifying yourself as ‘possessing’ that can be the disease. Use the sentence to deepen this awareness.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 117

There he was, on his own, looking out across a rather bleak moorland. It was early in the morning. Columba has taught me the importance of praying in silence early in the day, before its concerns and, sometimes, its intrusions break in. [By the way, he also taught me that these 'intrusions' are also indicators of the movement of God in the heart. So they are not to be dismissed.] This morning his eyes were sunken and he looked anxious. Indeed, that was obvious. He was shaking. Columba? I approached him trying not to startle him. He turned and looked like a desperate child into my eyes. 'I am lost. I simply cannot pray.' 'Why?' I asked gently. 'Because I am constantly confronted by my fear of dying and death - of loneliness. My belief has deserted me, if I ever had it'. Columba! Inwardly, I smiled. Here was holiness indeed!


Matthew 24:29-36….
Three strands of Jewish culture and belief come together. One is the established sense that there would be an ideal man, one who was utterly obedient to God as servant and prophet. The second was a developed sense that the end of all things was not the end for God. All events in creation were God-events, including devastation and suffering. The third strand was that this ‘man’ is effective in bringing healing and love (redemption) even in the course of the ‘end’. Jesus for Christianity became the ultimate focus of these strands: The Son of man.

Let the eyes of your heart be open to my Healing and my Love in all creation and experience

In the face of the news, the suffering of someone you love or maybe your own suffering, it is difficult to discern God’s healing and loving. The stomach tenses. the heart races or the dark clouds of depression gather - or all three. Praying in the middle of these feelings is hard. Maybe you can only last a few moments, if any! It is in these moments that prayer is most important. Don’t concern yourself as to whether you are concentrating or not. Acknowledge briefly that God is to found in all your experiences. Simply use the sentence faithfully throughout the day and you will begin to see God as the one at the heart of all your experiences. That discernment maybe of vital importance to you and to others.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 116

After all these months with St Matthew's Gospel, I had begun to feel confident in my understanding of its 'flow' and meaning. Yesterday... Well, let me explain. Two young girls joined us. They were covered in mud and were damp through. However, they were blissfully happy. They asked about myself and about Columba. I then started to wax eloquent on the Gospel of Matthew, that I was carrying. 'I have it in my heart now', I added with sickening sentimentality. So I gave them my take on the new certainty that I had of the Kingdom of God and how they ought to have the same. Columba, who was walking ahead of me, stopped when he heard me. he turned and glowered at me. 'And are you ready to be crucified? Only then claim the Gospel as a certainty. Then God will be the on ly certainty there is and, of that, you will doubt....' Silence. Did he need to embarrass me...?

Matthew 24:15-28….
Religious communication around the first century CE was often fearful and portentous. This was not surprising, given the Roman occupation, the interplay of many religious cultures in the Near East; and then the destruction of Jerusalem in 70CE. Matthew's Gospel was written after that devastating experience. In our own time, when there is uncertainty about our own culture, there are many religious leaders who attract attention to themselves, manipulating the emotions and fears of many. One of the marks of religious proselytism is its certainty. That certainty is often claimed to be basedd on faith in God, when it is often a claim about certainty in the human mind, which is very different indeed. This kind of 'certainty' is inclined to feed off (vultures) the fearful (corpses). Like others, Jesus had a prophetic sense of the terrifying implications of his times, but implored that those who followed him take responsibility for themselves and be constantly prepared for God’s kingdom and not be distracted by the opportunism of fanatics.

Let your heart and mind be awake to My Wisdom

It is important to notice that Jesus did not condemn fear. He frequently exclaimed: ‘Do not be afraid’. Everyone is afraid of something and sometime. Christ was simply acknowledging the power of fear. What matters is to recognise and understand your fears, in that way, very slowly, they will begin to have less power over you. Gradually you will begin to focus on what is really important. You will be les prone to being manipulated by those who know how to manipulate your fears. Begin your meditation by looking at that of which you are afraid. Do not try and get rid of fears or chastise yourself. Move into praying gently with the sentence. Once or twice during the day, when fears rear their heads, use the sentence and just notice how your fears operate in you. Ask God to that your fears may be used for others healing: a preparation for the Kingdom of God.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 115

The weather for the last few weeks has, on the whole, been wet and windy. Columba looked pale and tired by mid-morning. So I found an elderly couples little dwelling just off the path. Smoke was rising from the little chimney...a welcoming sight. The old man took us in and gave us some hot water to wash and warm ourselves. His wife produced soup and bread. There by the fire were four other pilgrims. Three of them were watching the fourth with awe. Columba paid little attention. After a while one of them asked Columba: 'Do you know who this is?' Silence. 'Do you not know you are in the presence of a great spiritual teacher? He knows the scriptures and knows what it is to trust in Jesus.' Columba smiled and simply said, 'I'm enjoying my soup. That's my spiritual teacher for now'.
Matthew 24:1-14….
Jerusalem was sacked in 70CE and perhaps the writer of the Gospel was feeding back that experience into Jesus’ sayings. Here we the readers of the Gospel are having our compass bearings readjusted. The Kingdom of God is beyond any temporary civilisation or political system. Fear is engendered when a status quo or ‘our’ life is under threat. By focusing on God’s Kingdom these fears then become redundant. When there is the fear of collapse on any scale, characters emerge in public who claim apocalyptic insights and powers for themselves. Our culture now has a myriad of such personalities particular in the world of 'spirituality' and 'religion' played out in the realms of fantasy and marketing.

Be still and know the Truth of My Kingdom within that frees you from fear.

What makes it difficult for you to 'name' your fears, even to yourself? Do you recognise inclinatons in yourself to shift responsibility for your fears on to something or somebody else? Who do you know that accepts you for who you are and you can speak to about your fears...? When you look at a well-known a Christian leader that you admire, what qualities does he or she have? So in the silence allow your fear to come to the surface, but do so 'in the presence' of the sentence.

+Martin

Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 114

As I have seen many times on this pilgrimage, Columba, before he gets into his blanket, or under some rug-skin to sleep, kneels upright (and without leaning on anything) for about 10 or 15 minutes, no matter how tired he is. I asked him why? "Going to sleep is symbolic of preparing for death. Therefore this prayer is one of constant preparation!" With a wry smile he added that in any case, he may die that night, and, looking at me with a bigger smile... "...and so might you". Chuckle. Mmm. In the morning he rises early. The dawn of Christ crucified and risen. And that 'habit' has become vitally important for me. I wasn't a 'morning person'. Now I am. "Rise and listen to God before anything else pre-occupies your consciousness," spoke Columba with that hopeful ring to his voice. He used his 'Matthew' and what I discovered was his memorised prayers...mostly the psalms. Then there is silence, even in a room full of people. "Waiting and stillness", he added once "are the roots of the prophetic heart. In these attitudes we will sense in the air the rumour of God." These gifts of Christ I have come to realise are not what 'I' or indeed 'you' may do, but are gifts of God. My job is to let myself be there/here to receive them...obedience!


Matthew 23:33-39….
The genius of Judaism is that the simplicity of God is to be discovered in his intimacy with all creative and human activity. God therefore is the ultimate focus of every moment of our lives. When religious institutions and their leaders then behave otherwise, then there is a denial not only of God but what it is to be human and a significant as well as responsible part of creation. Political blueprints that, in effect, denied the underlying inspiration of God had corrupted Jerusalem theocratically inspired civic life. The prophets were (and are!) those who drew attention to that, sometimes in dramatic ways that lead to their rejection and in many cases 'liquidation' by the leaders of religious institutions. That disturbing process is as much if not a major cultural issue for us now.

Realise in your heart that I am the Source of Life in all you are and do.


This meditation is best practiced at the end of the day, but before you are too tired! Sit or kneel in silence and use the sentence to focus your mind into your heart. Then review each detail of your day. What were the priorities that governed your attitudes and your behaviour? Remember that you can write your thoughts or even symbolise them by drawing. Do not analyse, only observe. The meditation is not just about your shortcomings. You might consider how you can recall at various points during the day, God’s presence and his will for you and the context in which you are set. A simple form of prayer and reading in the morning, midday, evening and at night can help you maintain your spiritual compass-bearings. With some apprehension, I would add that for Christians this is an obligation, not a word that sits well with a culture obsessed with 'choice' and paltry notions of freedom.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 113

For three days now, a young woman has joined us on our pilgrimage. In fact, it looks as if she may remain with us for the remainder. Despite her years, her face already shows the marks of pain and anxiety. There is, however, something intensely strong in her eyes. What that is, perhaps I shall discover. Columba talks and talks in her presence. I couldn't help feeling slightly gleeful at an exchange which happened earlier today. Columba was sitting on some dry grass and showing the young woman, Clare, his copy of Matthew's Gospel. He was describing how he and I had been using Matthew on our pilgrimage. Columba seemed to indicate huge knowledge and confidence in the Gospel. I was irritated in what sounded like self-righteousness in his voice. He noticed this in me. We became embroiled in a lengthy debate, he and I, in how confident we were in the Way of Christ. The young woman listened and listened until, at last, there was an break in the prattle. She added, 'It's not whether YOU are confident in The Way... That is impossible. What is possible is the confidence and love of God in you....' Silence descended. I hope she stays!


Matthew 23:13-32….
“I am one of those who have the key to finding God…. To find God, be like me…. I give my attention to the things of God rather than God himself…. My scrupulosity over the details of my life is designed to impress…. I give pride of place to my image of myself…. My attention to my outer life is starving my inner life…. I blame others for the maltreatment of the saints of the past masking my complicity in violence….” Jesus in these seven ‘exposures’ provided the opportunity for self-examination in the early Christian Church to be clear about its motivation in preparation for God’s Kingdom.


I thank you that you are opening my heart to Your Clarity in preparation for living in Your Truth.



Begin with silence and the sentence until you feel still enough to look at this exercise. Use the seven ‘exposures’ above to review some of your attitudes. If it feels appropriate, write your reactions down honestly without being over-analytical. Do not try to make any resolutions too quickly. Simply observe your feelings that arise and face them for what they are. You may want to share your observations with a spiritual director or someone you trust. Soon the story of the Passion will be the greatest exposure of motivation that there is.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles