Matthew under the arm 67

All day, I walked alongside a pilgrim who had just received news that his walking companion's wife had died in an accident. He had been asked to inform his companion. Eventually, we sat on the grass verge of the pathway, as his breathing was so fast that he was exhausted. He was terrified of telling his friend. For ages, it seems, I tried to talk to him and persuade him to get on with it. In fact, the pilgrim's fear was beginning to irritate me! Columba was ahead of us. So I ran to catch up with him and ask him advice. Without a word, Columba turned and came back to the frightened pilgrim. The bereaved companion approached us, oblivious of the tragedy about to be told him. Columba looked, but the frightened man simply hoped that Columba would say it for him. However, all that Columba did was to ask the bereaved pilgrim what he was afraid of. 'Not being told the truth, even if it hurts', was his answer. At that point, Columba and I left them.


Matthew 14:22-33....
In the evening, Christ prays and it is in that prayer that His realisation is deepened of the scale of fear in humanity. He doesn't condemn it, he comes to meet it where it is. Drowning is a terrifying prospect. Rejection, being alienated, feels like being drowned and forgotten. Christ comes across the water as a baptismal symbol, to 'baptise' Peter in his terror. Jesus puts his hand out and ‘lifts’ Peter. In Baptism, we have the drowning and rising of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection.


That in the depths of me You would transform my fears by Your Rising and Your Hope.

When I am afraid, I feel my breathing become shallow. It's like drowning. Jesus doesn't dismiss the fear, he points to the reality of its power and my lack of ability in relating to it. Let Christ enter into your fears. Acknowledge what they are and let Him look at them and be with them as he 'holds' you. Use the sentence to still your breathing and deepen your attention to Christ.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 66

Today at lunch time, Columba and I realised we had forgotten to buy some bread and some fruit. We passed a group of people sitting on the wall and joking. In fact, you could hear their laughter from miles back. Most of them recognised Columba. He was well known for being tall, thin and slightly stooped. His beard was almost an apology! As they say, it was moth-eaten! The group summoned us across, but they didn't offer us some of their food. Columba told them a few of stories and jokes. He then looked plaintively at them. 'Have had nothing to eat?'...silly question. 'We haven't got enough for all of us.' 'Well, the little you have, let's have a Eucharist beside the path.' Before long about 12 people gathered around. 'This is my body. This is my blood.' Afterwards, there certainly was enough...


Matthew 14:13-20....
Jesus responds to hunger. His life was not a project with an aim and objectives to meet. He was available and was more 'done to' than doing. He responds even when he is at the vital work of prayer. He gives more than people 'need' - he meets deep desires and more... 12 baskets with all the symbolism of the complete collection of the 'tribes' of Israel being fed by God to the full and more... No boundaries and no restraint in the Kingdom of God.

In the delight and generosity of God, I enter into the depths of you to feed your hunger and desire.

It's surprising to realise that so much of the Gospel is about desire and abundance, when 'poverty' seems so emblematic of Christianity. So enter into this prayer time imagining that you are at a dinner party or equivalent. Enjoy this prayer time by imagining every detail of the food and the company you would like to be in. Don't be mean! Use the sentence to deepen your imagination and enjoy....

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 65

[I've been away on my own retreat.... Thank you for being patient!]
Three days ago, I was walking behind Columba all day! I refused to walk beside him. Yes - self-pity - and nobody noticed! For several days fellow pilgrims had heard that Columba was on the same part of the pilgrimage, so had either waited until he caught up with them, or had raced to catch up with him. Instead of rejoicing at those who wanted to learn from Columba or to be inspired by him, I was jealous! Yes jealous! [He's mine... precious!!] So I hung back a few yards on my own and looked down at the ground, feeling humiliated by myself. In the evening, they didn't go away as we ate a light supper on the wall. Yes, I made sure Columba could see I was sitting on my own. The next day, Columba walked by himself. I still didn't join him. [You're mine...I control....] On the third day, I walked on my own without anyone, expecting to be released from my self-torture! Most of the day - tears! AND Columba didn't even bother to console me. I woke up then! ...just in time!

Matthew 14:1-12....
Herod feels acute guilt at murdering John, who had challenged his misuse of power. The presence of Jesus exposes the darkness that lies at the depths of human consciousness, with the intention, not of condemning but of healing. To complicate matters Herod is caught in the trap of sexual envy and bitterness. John the Baptist exposes corruption simply through his own personal authenticity.


Christ of compassion, rise with Your Healing Light through the darkness within me.

Richard Strauss composed a disturbing opera on the story of John's beheading: 'Salome'. It centres around the sexual infatuation of Salome, Herodias’ daughter, for John. If she cannot seduce him and own him, then she must destroy him. Extreme maybe. But it may help to expose similar and perhaps unowned vindictiveness that lies deep in the psyche. (Mine included!) Allow the sentence to be the means by which Christ gently exposes the unresolved bitternesses that often are pushed down out of fear...

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 64

Outside the little village last night, we came across a generous old man, who offered us some mattresses on his floor to sleep. As we made our way into the little house, there were 2 other pilgrim who were resting on the floor and playing with their dice. The air was acrid with stale sweat, not to mention the rather colourful language. Columba couldn't help giggling at the dodgy jokes, which sort of gave me permission to join in the fun. When the two realised we were their listening to them, their mood changed. They obviously had no intention of creating space for us to lie down. 'We got here first. Go somewhere else. There isn't room'. 'It's raining!' I said considerably miffed. 'So?', was the lazy and careless answer. Columba said nothing and simply moved their gear over the floor a little to create space for us. One of the men stood up and grabbed Columba and his gear and through him out. Then it was my turn. Outside with the door slammed, Columba knocked. One of the men came to the door ready to punch Columba. 'Have this', said Columba. He gave the angry man his apple! Guess what the man did with that!


Matthew 13:53-58....
Possession is again portrayed as an inhibition in this passage. Relatives are often spoken of as if they were possessions: 'my'... 'our' etc. This becomes disabling because we are no longer simply persons in our right. Christ is inhibited by us if we 'possess' him - as if he is the sole property of Christians; the Church. In fact, from His birth onwards Christ, if he is the possession of anyone, then he is only so for the outsiders. And outsiders, by definition have few if any possessions. To be truly honoured, respected we must be let free to be ourselves.

That you may bring My Freedom and My Light out of My Loving within you


Even when you have attained a disciplined spiritual life, it is hard to resist possessiveness: my prayer; my heart; my feelings... and they are not yours... they are within you certainly. The Spirit of Christ is gift within you, not 'yours'. We belong to God... that is where ownership begins and ends. Ask yourself who you own.... what you own.... or what you would like to own. Are there ways in which your ownership has inhibited love and freedom? Use the sentence to reset where belonging really lies.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 63

The pathway today seemed to go across a moorland that seemed to go on for ever. We were all alone. There was no chatter between us. Columba looked at his feet as he walked. I looked in the distance, wondering when this boring part of the pilgrimage would be over. It was as if we were in an 'in-between' world - leaving something comfortable, familiar and secure behind for something unknown ahead of us. Columba realised that my pace was slowing. So he simply sat down in a space between the scrub and waited on me to join him. The wind blew dust in our faces and I wanted to go back. He put up his hands to his eyes as if gesturing to me to close mine. 'Christ arise within us and give us the courage to let go that which holds us to the past. Help us to honour the past and use it. But arise through us and draw us towards the unknown ahead of us. Love us now that we may have hope. May we be the bringers of hope in a transforming world.' 'What was that about?' I asked Columba. 'If you are to be the Love of God which you are learning on this pilgrimage, then you are going to be transformed. Risk the costly adventure.'


Matthew 13:51-52....
We are asked the question whether we understand. Jesus, however, takes us deeper. Understanding here is about knowing: being in touch with the world of the Spirit (the Kingdom). The ‘storeroom’ is the memory, the world of our unconsciousness as well as consciousness. Spirituality is the experience of the rising of the Spirit within us through the old. The 'old' is that which is familiar. The 'rising' comes through that 'oldness' to that which is new and transforming. The 'old' is/are not denied and rejected.


Let the depth of your memory be open to My Healing and My Creativity


Remind yourself that stillness is vital to body, mind and spirit. To enter into the springs of personality involves allowing stillness to create an openness. Use the sentence for about 15 minutes - let its rhythm still you. Your memory contains images and feelings of past experience. Let Christ rise within you lighting on the newness the creative desire within to serve the Love of God. When you have completed this meditation, reflect (in writing if it helps) on what your response might be.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles

Matthew under the arm 62

Puzzling. Two days ago Columba spent a long time with a young couple on the pilgrimage. They had shown signs, everytime we caught up with them, of being unhappy and anxious. All he said to me was: 'Pray for them'. 'What am I to pray about?' Columba replied, 'You don't need to know. Just pray'. 'Your prayer has nothing to do with information that will make you feel better, but for others.' Later I asked Columba why he spent so long with them. Well, after I listened to their story and they appeared to be calmer, I became fascinated by their experience. I learnt a lot.' 'So...', I replied rather haughtily. '....you were really with them for yourself and not for them!' 'Of course', he replied. 'Have you ever seen anyone love anyone else without gaining from it themselves?' I was a little upset. 'But isn't completely selfless love what we should be aiming at? Wasn't that what you were trying to tell me earlier?' 'What kind of love is that?' he asked. Mmmm. That man Columba!


Matthew 13:47-50….
In mysticism, all things are pictured ‘gathered up’ into God, as in the image of the dragnet. The language of condemnation of ‘the useless’ is difficult for us. If our lives have no creative qualities to them, there is a 'uselessness'. But what about those who are unable to be anything other than ‘useless’? Even one look of love, however, renders any myth about hell to be meaningless. As William Blake put it: 'Touch something with love and it becomes infinite.' The point of the parable is to awaken us to be of service right now.


Be alert to serving others as the imprint of My Presence here and now



Myths are means to enable you to come alive here and now. They are strong images which are dramas of reality. Being alive is heightened even more if you discover the Love of God in serving others. That is where God is because that is where Christ is. Meditation with the use of the sentence (that arises out of the dragnet story), deepens your awareness and sharpens your sensitivity to what is happening around you. Is this not using others for your own benefit? Yes! Why not?… if they are loved!

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles