Matthew under the arm 128

Being younger than Columba, I had been walking faster than he had. The head wind made the waking tiring, if not exhilarating. So I waited on him by a style for well over an hour. He appeared eventually, surrounded by five men who were shouting at him as they walked. He had his head bowed. This was a frightening scene. ‘You are a waster. You have been on this pilgrimage for months,’ they bawled, ‘and attracted those followers of yours. You walk through our villages and expect us to feed you out of our poverty. Pass on….with that useless friend of yours.’ Columba looked at them and said gently,’ You are not poor. Why do you speak on behalf of those who are? What are you frightened of…’ I hid behind the wall….

Matthew 26:57-68

This is one of those classic Gospel scenes where what is not said is of the greatest significance. Fear dominates every character and submerges the truth under the cloak of ‘righteousness’.. Christ was afraid, but his uniqueness in the scene is that he behaves out of the truth of what he is thinking and feeling. There is a resistance to accept that Christ was fearful. That, however, is to turn away from the God who loves through the bleakness of fear. The severe beauty of Christ is that he can see the fear of the Sanhedrin, who must annihilate this perceived religious threat by any means. And seeing, he engages with the silence of God. That same beauty, faltering though it may have been, is in the fear of Peter who wanted to see what the end would be’. The glorious beauty is not to be found in avoidance but in these fragile moments of powerlessness in His Passion. That is when the Christian Church is at her most beautiful when we live and breathe out of powerlessness.

I WOULD BE STILL WITH THE SILENCE AND BEAUTY OF GOD THAT LOVES IN THE MIDDLE OF FEAR

There are countless ways of using this passage for mediation and prayer. I would recommend that you allow yourself at least half an hour simply to read and read repeatedly the story, identifying in each reading with different characters, including Jesus himself. Note down your feelings. Remember not to assess those feelings. No judgement! Then with one image or word simply be there with Jesus, allowing the affect to surround you of his ‘seeing’, his ‘understanding’. When you are finished, it is important to note down what happened in the period of mediation. Reflect not just Christ’s Passion, but your Passion.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles.