Matthew under the arm 15

Columba has noticed something in my face. We had stopped to buy some sandwiches and fill our flasks. I sat on a bench in the square just staring at nothing, or so I thought. Columba came and sat beside me. 'You are carrying something in your heart. Do you want to tell me about it?', he asked. There was no point in resisting his intent look into my eyes. He knew. So, with a sigh, a told him that I had been hoping that the pilgrimage would be an opportunity to deal with a deep hurt in me. Instaed of that it has grown worse....

Matthew 5:20-26…
‘…go and be reconciled with your brother first, and then come back and present your offering.’ Forgiveness is so difficult because hurt is so deeply implanted in the memory. To work on forgiveness has been shown to have psychological, ethical and, indeedn physical value. However, reconciliation is a living out of the activity of God’s forgiveness. The hurt is used, transfigured by God, not forgotten. So the priority is not what I feel or remember. Putting it bluntly, God demands forgiveness. For that is the nature of God in Christ. For me, to be reconciled with you is to cooperate with the process of God’s work, not primarily to make me or even you feel better. You and I are called, indeed summoned, to live beyond ourselves. It may not be possible to forgive to any significant extent without my realisation of the Spirit of God reconciling within me. Strangely, we can relax and not try so hard.


Let the Spirit of God deepen my desire for Your Reconciliation

To think of someone who has hurt you, brings feelings of resentment and worse. It maybe that you have spoken words of forgiveness but the feelings lie beyond words and maybe even for a life-time. Maybe you can't even bear the thought of meeting the person. The reconciliation of God comes to heal and transfigure your feelings – use them. So just see the person or persons you have hurt or who have hurt you. Let them pass before you without too much time spent on how you feel. Above don't analyse... that's a trap. Then use the meditation sentence ‘pointed’ towards God. If feelings do arise, do not force them away. Simply acknowledge them. A crucifix before you can point you away from unnecessarily negative feelings of yourself. You might find it helpful to write down the feelings to help you let them go for a while. Just focus your attention on the sentence.

+Martin
Argyll and The Isles